Peaches is sick. Viktor is gone. Maddie Kidd is in. Welcome to The Noon Hour of Mildness & Mediocrity—also known as today’s Madness & Mayhem. While Peaches coughs through his sickness like a man recovering from a three-day kayak bender, Maddie carries the show like an audio EMT, serving commentary, chaos, and cat facts in equal measure.

Topics you'll laugh/cry/sneeze through include:

• Peaches missing his Parkway Drive interview to protect Winston from whatever biohazard lives in his lungs
• A pitch for Peaches Pal T-Shirts featuring death metal font and a lonely fruit
• Debate over whether it’s more fun to go inside Walmart or use pickup, and why Maddie calls it “her enrichment time”
• Cinderblock the Cat’s mysterious Instagram disappearance, and the chonk-sized grief it triggered
• Remembering Tommy, Tabitha, and Sheldon—Peaches’ tortoises with soap opera-level drama
• Maddie’s traumatic axolotl parenting phase, shrimp hatchery horror, and why she’s not fit to be a mother (to amphibians)
• A Walmart-parking-lot manifesto on people who block the crosswalk for no reason at all

Also: hot spring storm chaos, poolside video blurring strategies, small-town dive bars, back-to-school PTSD, and Maddie’s upcoming one-year workaversary (complete with impending nursing home jokes).

If you're into chill July vibes, rogue cats, or two people trying their best while both a little broken—this one’s for you.