This week on Meet in the Middle, Jake kicks us off with a Gen Z dating trend that’s as tragic as it is hilarious — “Shrekking,” where people date someone less attractive hoping they’ll be treated better. Spoiler: it ends in tears and swamp gas. From Fiona fantasies to full-blown Black Mirror vibes, the gang tear this nonsense apart in true chaotic fashion.

Then Rachel’s back with Boys, Catch Yourselves On, asking the age-old question: why are so many men apparently living like feral mattress trolls and refusing to change their bedsheets for months? Expect confessions of raw-dogging mattresses, Pooh Bear sleeping styles, and the kind of hygiene crimes David Attenborough could narrate.

Danny crashes in with What the FAQ and drops the word “Rantallion” — which, yes, is real and means your balls hang lower than your dick. Cue 18th-century slang, tavern roasts, and everyone picturing Squidward’s face.

Finally, James wraps it all up with a birthday quiz all about Rachel, with answers provided by none other than her mum. Chaos doesn’t even cover it.

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Intro and Outro: Living Kills - The Noise

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