What happens when men realize the promises of traditional masculinity—power, wealth, dominance—are either unattainable or ultimately unsatisfying? This groundbreaking conversation with sex educators Dr. Karen Rayne and Corbin Knight-Dixon reveals the hidden grief process many men experience when confronting these realities.

Twenty years into their work in sexuality education, our guests have witnessed seismic shifts in how masculinity functions in society. While much public discourse focuses on "toxic masculinity," they argue this framing misses something crucial: the profound grief and isolation many men feel when navigating their gender identity in today's world. This grief, often unacknowledged and unprocessed, drives many young men toward communities that offer simple answers and validation—from online forums to religious groups to political movements promising a return to traditional gender roles.

Dr. Rayne shares a fascinating story about working with middle school boys who had been disciplined for sexist behavior. When she asked them to draw what masculinity meant to them, one drew Donald Trump, explaining he represented power and wealth. When she gently unpacked Trump's problematic statements about women, the boy was genuinely shocked and immediately rejected that model. This illuminating moment shows how rarely adults engage young men in thoughtful conversations about gender.

Throughout our discussion, one theme emerges repeatedly: the desperate need for kindness in our approach to masculinity. "Finding the way to listen from the quiet parts of your own self to the quiet parts of someone else, that's what we really need more of," Dr. Rayne explains. Rather than shaming men or using language that alienates them, our guests advocate for creating spaces where vulnerability is welcomed and grief can be processed.

Despite the challenging political climate, both experts express optimism about the future of masculinity. They're seeing more young men show up in their classes, asking thoughtful questions and engaging in new ways. "We are seeing the future of masculinity now," Corbin notes. "It's not hypothetical, we're practicing it."

Want to learn more about creating healthier models of masculinity? Visit unhushed.org and corbinknightdixon.com to explore resources and educational materials.

More about our guests:

Dr. Karen Rayne has been working in education for the past two decades with an expertise in sexuality education across the lifespan. She is the cofounder of UN|HUSHED, where she writes and edits books and lifespan comprehensive sexuality curricula, trains sexuality educators, and builds collaborative coalitions. She is also an Assistant Professor of Instruction at The University of Texas. Karen has worked with local, national, and international organizations. Oh and she's written a lot of books..like a LOT - and they are amazing! I suggest searching on Bookshop.org to find her work.

Corbin Knight-Dixon (he/him), MS, is a facilitator and learning specialist focused on anti-violence, sexuality education, LGBTQ+ health, and anti-racist health equity. His work centers on reimagining masculinity, driving systems change, and building programs that strengthen community relationships and collective care.

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