Feeling exhausted from trying to change family members who just don't seem to get it? You're not alone, and this might be draining your energy more than you realize.

After experiencing this frustration while living with my mother for several months, I noticed the same pattern emerging in my coaching clients—the belief that if only their loved ones would change, everything would be better. This expectation creates a loop of disappointment that feeds directly into burnout.

The hard truth I've learned through neuroscience and personal experience is that people rarely change because someone tells them to. Most humans are motivated by pain or avoiding pain, not by a desire for self-improvement. This explains why your heartfelt conversations about how someone's behavior affects you often fall on deaf ears—they aren't feeling enough discomfort to motivate change on your timeline.

The pathway to freedom from this exhausting cycle isn't trying harder to make others understand. Instead, it comes from focusing on how you show up when triggered. When I stopped expecting my mother to change and started examining my own reactions—taking time to process my emotions before responding—something unexpected happened. She noticed. These shifts in my behavior sparked her curiosity in ways my words never could.

This approach isn't settling or giving up. It's recognizing that modeling change is far more powerful than demanding it. Children learn by watching, not by being told, and adults aren't so different. By breaking your own patterns and responding with awareness rather than reaction, you create space for others to become curious about their own behavior.

Ready to break free from this energy-draining cycle? Book a discovery call to learn how our upcoming Rewired to Thrive program can help you identify the subconscious beliefs triggering your reactions and reclaim your energy for what truly matters.

Have a question that you want answered on the show? Send us a text!

Connect with me on social: Facebook or Instagram!

Like this episode? Share it in your stories and tag me @dr.reanamulcahy

Love the show? Leave a 5-star review, and let me know what was most helpful for you.

Discover more ways I can support you in breaking the burnout cycle. Visit my website.