What happens when the identity you built your life around falls apart overnight? In this raw interview, Dean Patrick—Stanford dropout, former crypto fund manager, and now author of God Money: Lost and Found in the Crypto Wilderness—traces the arc from early “prodigy” ambition to addiction, collapse, and a near-suicide on a 30th-floor balcony in Manhattan. Family pulled him into recovery in 2018. The years that followed weren’t linear: relapses, resets, and finally a shift from status to substance—trading a high-profile accelerator role for a humble job that protects the two practices that rebuilt him: writing and Zen meditation.

Dean shares how week-long silent retreats and six months living at a Zen monastery gave him a new center, why success without values is a dead-end, and how “boring, systematic” routines actually fuel creative work. If you’ve ever asked, Is this really the life I want?—this conversation is your permission slip to choose differently, start smaller, and build a life that can actually hold you.

• [00:00] Opening: identity, ambition, and the prodigy trap

• [03:00] Homeschooled faith → atheism → “my new god became money”

• [05:30] Stanford insecurity, stimulants for confidence, and the crypto fund

• [07:30] Tripling the fund… then the crash, panic attacks, and the balcony

• [10:00] The phone call that pulled him back; rehab and the non-linear climb

• [12:30] Two steps forward, almost two back: relapse, lessons, and four years sober

• [13:30] Choosing a smaller life to save the bigger dream (service job → space to write)

• [15:00] COVID as a reset; five years to write God Money

• [18:30] Thoreau experiments: raw land, a DIY cabin, and what didn’t work

• [19:30] Zen practice begins: Rochester Zen Center, retreats, and rigor

• [21:00] Zazen: posture, pain, and why stillness hurts before it heals

• [26:00] The field beyond thought: “no problems” and taking the edge off life

• [28:30] Stoicism parallels; spiritual materialism and the ego in robes

• [33:00] Monastery life: 4:00 a.m. bells, choreographed breakfasts, work as practice

• [35:00] Designing a “boring, systematic” routine to protect creativity

• [41:30] Publishing God Money, reader response, and the next (auto)fiction project

• [43:00] Closing: being as an end in itself

• Book: God Money: Lost and Found in the Crypto Wilderness — Dean Patrick

• Audiobook: narrated by the author

• Website: http://DeanPatrickAuthor.com

• Community/Practice: Rochester Zen Center (mentioned)