Are the five stages of grief a myth? If you've ever wondered why denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance don't fully capture your mourning experience, you're not alone. In this Grief 101 episode of Widow Pod, Dr. Liza Barros Lane unravels one of the most persistent grief myths: the idea that grief follows five predictable stages. Originally from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's 1969 book On Death and Dying—which focused on terminally ill patients facing their own death—this model has been misapplied to bereavement, leading many to feel like they're grieving "wrong."

Liza breaks down:

• The origins of Kübler-Ross’s five stages and why they weren't meant for grief after loss
• Why the "five stages of grief myth" persists and how it fails to explain the full mourning process
• What the latest grief research (including 2025 insights) reveals about real grief experiences.

What We Cover in This Episode

• The Origin and Misapplication of the Five Stages: Kübler-Ross described reactions to personal dying, not losing a loved one. Over time, it became a misunderstood "roadmap" for grief, but experts agree: grief is not linear.
• Why Grief Isn't Linear—And Why That's Not Enough: Simply saying "grief isn't linear" overlooks the deeper, research-backed processes. Grief is a full-body, identity-shaking journey rooted in attachment and love.
• Core Processes of Grief, Grounded in Research:
• Making Meaning (Sense of the Death): Processing how and why the loss happened—easier with expected deaths, excruciating with premature or traumatic ones.
• Relearning the World (Adjusting Without Your Person): Navigating practical, emotional, existential, and spiritual changes to daily life without them.
• Continuing Bonds: Maintaining a transformed, ongoing connection to the deceased, as supported by continuing bonds theory, for healing and comfort.
• Identity Reconstruction: Redefining your roles, routines, and sense of self (e.g., from partner to widow or solo parent).
• The Role of Attachment, Fear, and Nervous System Disruption: Grief starts with love; deep bonds lead to shattered safety, cortisol spikes, body-wide impacts (sleep, memory, digestion), and intense yearning or fear.
• Why Grief Affects Your Whole Being: Beyond emotions, it disrupts your body, hormones, and worldview—far more than a checklist of feelings.

This understanding debunks common grief myths, like the "stages of grief debunked" narrative, and offers practical insights for supporters and clinicians to recognize when extra help is needed.

Key Takeaway: Grief Doesn't Follow Steps—It's a Lifelong Journey

The five stages of grief is a myth that can make you feel invalid. Grief isn't a ladder, checklist, or finish line; it's a love-centered, non-linear process unique to everyone. There's no wrong way to grieve—only your way. As 2025 grief research confirms, focusing on these core processes helps you make sense of the chaos and find meaning.

If this episode helped debunk the stages of grief myth or rethink how to cope with grief, consider:

• Sharing it with someone searching for "understanding grief" or "coping with loss"
• Leaving a review to help others discover real grief support
• Following Widow Pod for more science-backed stories on young widowhood, grief myths, and healing

Until next time, be gentle with yourself—and with others. Listen now on your favorite platform and like and follow!