How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 302, and Oliver's a f*cking weirdo, isn't he?

Bring Her Back (2025) follows sibling pair Andy and Piper, who are sent to live with foster parent Laura following the death of their father. Despite a fairly benevolent first impression, Laura's new age weirdness soon becomes something more sinister, as she tries to drive a wedge between the pair for her own mysterious aims.

We discuss a film chock full of horrific eating-adjacent nastiness, a surprisngly touching sophomore effort from the Phillipou brothers, venture some suggestions for more sensible foster policies and wonder whether a Talk To Me cinematic universe is on the cards.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: it's just meat.

Next time, on the Patreon, it's time for a (long overdue) Bonus episode, whereas on the public feed we'll be taking a look at Weapons (2025).

It's episode 301, and thank you for accepting my invitation. Now tell me, why haven't you delivered the filthy swine to me yet?

The Purge (2013) tells the story of The Sandin Family, who shelter in their home-fortress on the evening of 'The Purge'. Following some kind of revolution in the USA, there is now an annual 'purge', where laws are suspended and violence is legal (and even encouraged). All seems fine, until their home-security (and morals) are put to the test.

We talk about the best career for someone in a Purge-type situation (painting and decorating?); the limitations of security that is deterrent-only; and the all-round benefits of an impromptu camping trip.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Incoming reports show this year's Purge has been the most successful to date, with the most murders committed.

Next time, we attempt to Bring Her Back (2025)

It's episode 300 Part 3…and the truth shall be your curse...

Fear Street Part Three: 1666 (2021) sees our heroes transported back to 1666 to live out the final days of Sarah Fier, as she is accused of being a witch. But was she really a witch? And when they learn the truth, how will it change things in the present day (which is, as we know, 1994...).

We reflect on the rich tradition of deliberate sequels; ask whether the juice was worth the squeeze; and answer once and for all whether generational punishment has a place in teen-targeted slasher movies.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I will shadow you for eternity. I will follow you forever. And everything you take and everyone you harm, you'll feel the grip of my hand.

Next time, over at Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod we're covering The Pyramid (2014).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 300 Part 2…and no-one gets out of this town, not even Miss Perfect.

Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (2021) continues the Shadyside strife with a trip back in time to 1978, as C Berman relays the story of her sister's death at Camp Nightwing. Ziggy is a rebellious Shadyside-r who is growing increasingly distant from her sister Cindy, who longs for a better life away from Shadyside. But when a co-ed camp of Sunnyvale and Shadyside kids erupts into murderous chaos, the sisters have to band together to try to survive.

We talk about maybe the first sequel that is better because it's a sequel, dig into the increasingly fun Shadyside palimpsest, chew over obvious allusions to Stephens King and Fridays 13th, and question the design decision-making behind a perilous portaloo.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: A week later, my sister was dead.

Next time we're taking a break from our multi-part episode 300 for a long-awaited trip to Egypt in The Pyramid (2014).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 300 Part 1…and stop being mad at me for wanting a different future.

Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021) introduces us to the crime-ridden city of Shadyside, the supposed 'murder capital' of the United States. Amidst the latest killing spree, star-crossed lovers Deena and Sam become embroiled in the town's mysterious and macabre history after accidentally disturbing a witch's grave.

We talk about our hopes and fears for a coherent trilogy of 'My First Horror' films, discuss a particularly gruesome bakery-related death, query the power distribution practices of the Shadyside Mall, and run the risk being added to a watchlist while wondering what the least destructive way to kill someone (and bring them back) is.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: it began as a prank... and ended in murder.

Next time it's (unsurprisingly) time for Part 2 of our Fear Street triple bill: Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (2021)

This episode was originally released as a Patreon bonus. To find out more, head to Patreon.com/howtosurvivepod

It's time for the long-awaited 300th Episode Spectacular!

It's a bumper session, filled with correspondence and reflections - and we couldn't be more grateful to everyone who has been part of the fun.

You can also expect a few announcements about upcoming features - including a return to covering not one but TWO franchises.

Thanks for all your support. It means a huge amount that you've listened to, enjoyed, and kept listening to How to Survive over the years.

Love,
Chris and Joe xx

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It's episode 299…My mommy always said there were no monsters. No real ones. But there are.

Alien Resurrection (1997) is the concluding chapter in the Alien Quadrilogy, and introduces Ripley 8, a supercharged Xeno-human hybrid of Ellen Ripley, cloned in a lab to act as a genetic vessel to recover the Xenomorphs from the annals of history 200 years after both they and Ripley were obliterated in molten lava at the end of Alien 3. It really is as simple as that.

We settle some unfinished business with the lesser-loved film in one of our favourite franchises, talk about the pros and cons of 90s cool girl action, query the logic of bringing a ticking time bomb along as a passenger, and indeed the logic of firing a continent-sized bomb at Earth to save lives, and marvel at the biggest and best shoulder hair ever captured on film.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Ellen Ripley died trying to wipe this species out. For all intents and purposes, she succeeded!

Next time on the Patreon, we're covering Jacob's Ladder, ahead of our big episode 300 triple bill on the Fear Street trilogy.

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It’s episode 298…and at 50, it all stops.

The Substance (2024) follows Elisabeth Sparkle, a fading Hollywood star who is fired from her TV fitness show when she reaches 50. Learning of ‘The Substance’, a black market pharmaceutical product that promises to create ‘a better version of you’, she signs up, producing Sue - a younger, idealised version of herself who soon finds the stardom Elisabeth has lost. But, despite being the same person, Elisabeth and Sue become increasingly fractious roommates, and as their contempt for one another grows, disaster ensues.

We break down one of the best films of the last year, a tour-de-force of body horror maximalism, featuring a million shots of an arse, disgusting eating sounds and jaw-dropping prosthetic effects. But is it good? Does it, while highlighting the objectification of women, objectify women in turn? And how much arse is too much arse? All this and more to come.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Everything comes from you. Everything is you. This is simply a better version of yourself.