Have you ever wondered why some relationships flow effortlessly while others feel like hard work? Human Design offers us a lens to understand not only how we’re wired, but how we connect with others — in love, dating, and beyond.

It’s not about “good” or “bad” matches. It’s about awareness. When you understand your design (and your partner’s or date’s), you stop second-guessing and start relating with compassion and clarity.

If you don’t know your type yet, you can get your free Human Design chart here: 👉 Get Your Chart

I’m a Certified Human Design Coach, and one of the ways I love experimenting with Human Design is through dating.

In my dating life, I’ve managed to get the birth details of many of the men I’ve dated and it’s been fascinating to see how our charts and energy types played out in real life.

As an Express Builder (Manifesting Generator), I’m naturally always on the go. Starting projects, doing things, moving fast. The only time I really stop is when I’ve completely drained my battery. And then I rest before going again.

When I was married to an Advisor (Projector), I expected him to keep up with my pace. I couldn’t understand why he needed so much rest or why he didn’t just take action the way I did. Honestly, it frustrated me.

But once I discovered Human Design, it all clicked. He wasn’t lazy or unmotivated. He was simply designed differently. Advisors/Projectors are here to guide and shine in bursts of wisdom, not to run endlessly like Express Builders/Manifesting Generators.

That realization changed everything. I could finally accept him lying on the couch watching a show while I buzzed around doing things. Instead of judging, I began to appreciate our differences.

I’ve also noticed that I’m most naturally attracted to other Express Builders like myself, we match each other’s fast-moving, multi-passionate energy.

On the other hand, I’ve found that dating Initiators (Manifestors) can be more challenging. Their energy is closed when they’re not actively thinking about me, and I can sense that intuitively. When I’m not feeling secure, this dynamic can trigger my anxious attachment style. When I am grounded and secure, though, I can admire their independence and powerful spark.

Interestingly, in my business, Advisors (Projectors) love working with me as they can lean into my Express Builder energy and hold space and accountability for their projects.

Builders are steady, glowing bonfires. They bring warmth, light, and consistent energy — but they only truly shine when they’re doing what they love. In relationships, their joy is contagious.

Do:

✔️ Ask yes/no questions to help them respond

✔️ Encourage what lights them up

✔️ Let them share their excitement

Don’t:

✘ Push them to initiate or make decisions on demand

✘ Expect enthusiasm if they’re stuck doing what drains them

Express Builders are like fireworks — dazzling, fast-moving, and full of variety. They love to explore, pivot, and try new things. Their energy can light up a relationship, as long as they feel free.

Do:

✔️ Celebrate their flexibility and enthusiasm

✔️ Be open to their many passions

✔️ Allow them to change direction

Don’t:

✘ Box them into one path

✘ Criticize them for moving...