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The 1 Boundary Mistake That's Costing You Your Peace and How to Fix It Today

The 1 Boundary Mistake That's Costing You Your Peace and How to Fix It Today

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 Ever set a boundary only to cave, over-explain, or feel guilty? You’re not alone, queen. In this episode, I break down the #1 boundary mistake women make after narcissistic abuse — and give you a 3-step fix to finally protect your peace. Because girl, you look good in peace. ✨👑 ✨ Links & Resources for Your Royal Glow-Up: 👑 Copy.Paste.Peace Scripts (special listener price!) → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copypeacepastescripts/ 🌸 Enroll in the Empowered Boundaries Course → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💖 Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Christy → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 🌺 Join the Free Facebook Support Group → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 ✨ Stay Connected: 🎧 Follow the show so you never miss a new episode! 📲 Share this episode with a fellow queen who needs boundary confidence today. -----TRANSCRIPT------ Speaker 1 (00:00): Have you ever set a boundary only to cave in, feel guilty or overexplain yourself? If that is you, queen, this episode is your wake up call. I'm going to break down the number one boundary mistake women make after narcissistic abuse and how to fix it so you can finally protect your piece. Because girl, you look good in peace. Did anyone ever tell you that? All right, stay close. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (00:59) Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself. Again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. Alright, welcome back to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. Now, I know you've probably tried setting boundaries before, maybe rehearsed what to say, but if you're second guessing, caving or walking away actually feeling worse instead of stronger, you are not alone. And here's the truth. It's not because weak or broken. It's because most of us we're taught boundaries the wrong way. So today I'm going to reveal the number one mistake I see over and over and give you a little three step fix that you can use right away. (02:00) How's that sound? Good? Alright. So first of all, the number one boundary mistake that's costing your peace is this treating boundaries like a one time announcement instead of a daily practice in kind of a way of life. So here's what happens. You finally build the courage to say, no, I can't do that, or I won't do that, or I need some space, right? You feel empowered until the other person pushes back, right? Maybe they get angry, maybe they guilt trip you. I can get a what? I've been through that one. Maybe they act confused or pretend they don't hear you, and suddenly it all kicks it up, right? The guilt comes in, doubt creeps in. You're asking, wait, am I being too harsh? Am I wrong for needing this? Maybe I should just let it go. And before you know it, you have caved or over explained or have said, okay, just this once, right? (03:06) One more chance, one more. You sound familiar though. It's okay if it does. Don't beat yourself up. You're not failing a boundaries, okay? You're just stuck in the trap of seeing them as a single moment instead of this living practice that you hold every day. So how do you fix this? How do you move from the wobbly guilt ridden boundaries to the ones that actually protect your piece? So here's my little three step quick fix. Number one, decide before you declare. Don't rush into announcing a boundary because you feel the pressure to, or you're having an empowered big moment. Don't go on an emotional announcement. You want to first get crystal clear with yourself. (04:01) Ask, what do I actually need here? What behavior am I no longer willing to accept? So ask yourself those two things. Maybe you want to pause and even write these questions down. What do I actually need here in this situation? What behavior am I no longer willing to accept? And that could be in this situation, that could be just in general with this person or with anybody. If you're trying to set boundaries all across the board, maybe you have not just your ex co-parenting with, but you realize you have a lot of friends that are controlling too. What are you no longer going to accept from everybody? Right? This could be specific or broader. So when you're solid inside and you have that clarity, you'll project ...
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