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Series Title: An Exploration of ‘Fabricated Fellowship’ & ‘Harmful Religiosity’ on the Path Towards Healing Spiritual Community [Part I of IV]

As Richard Rohr has often said, "It is through great love and great suffering" that the soul grows the most rapidly and the most durably. In this four-part series (every MONDAY for the next four weeks!) fall in love with Steve and Ginger Hitz, co-authors of 'Igniting the Holy Flame: Building Communities of Love from the Ashes of Negative Religious Culture,' a book inspired by the tragic loss of their son, whose suffering was amplified by a church culture that could not meet him where he was.
This book and this podcast series is a plea for further awakening around aspects of church communities that set about to help but instead inadvertently do harm through concepts like 'fabricated fellowship' and 'harmful religiosity'. In this series you will hear both candid conversation about the pain points of faith communities and how to heal, grow, and create peace both within ourselves and within our communities.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:22 Meet Steve and Ginger: A Journey of Love and Faith

06:21 The Faith Journey and Spiritual Community

09:37 Skyler's Story: A Catalyst for Change

15:55 Interfaith Work and Universal Love

18:01 Revelation and Healing After Loss

25:08 Overview of 'Igniting the Holy Flame'

31:58 Closing Thoughts and Future Episodes

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Join Dr. Julie Hanks & Valerie in a heartfelt audience Q&A addressing their shared passion as therapists working with thousands of people in and around The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Listen in and find hope and comfort as these two women answer questions about their eventful year promoting, leading, and trying to embody (although imperfectly!) lives of psychological and spiritual health.

Stay tuned for the end of the episode where they announce a 4 week online Q&A session for those interested in exploring how they can stay connected to the LDS church in psychologically healthy ways & on their own terms. Link to enroll below!

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and Introductions

03:15 Discussing Faith Journeys and Challenges

03:46 Addressing Audience Questions on Faith and Spirituality

06:12 Experiences with Church Leadership

12:16 Rebuilding Identity and Addressing Scrupulosity

20:29 Taking Feedback and Sacrifice

21:46 Honoring Family While Acknowledging Harm

25:16 Staying in the Church: Personal Reflections

28:31 Marriage and Dating After Stepping Away

31:22 Biggest Shifts in Faith Journeys

36:36 Upcoming Events and Announcements

https://drjuliehanks.as.me/schedule/d028d361/appointment/82717607/calendar/30967?appointment=

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In this eye-opening episode Valerie is a guest on the Inside Out Podcast with Ian Wilkes and Jim Bennett, where they dive deep into the complexities of women's roles within the LDS Church, locking in on the recent garment policy shifts.

You might be surprised to learn Valerie’s take on this topic. A hint: adding women leaders to these policy-making gatherings is NOT the answer to this conundrum where it seems that thousands of LDS women across the belief & practice spectrum are frustrated. Tune in to explore a thought-provoking discussion on equality, institutional overreach, and the beauty (and simplicity) that unfolds when humans are given the dignity to manage their own underwear drawers.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:31 Jim's Experience in Argentina

01:47 Special Guest: Valerie Hamaker

02:16 Valerie's Background and Podcast

04:50 Challenges of Patriarchy in the Church

06:18 Authority and Decision Making in the Church

16:35 Impact of Patriarchy on Men and Women

22:17 Garment Controversy and Gender Equality

30:21 Church Surveys and Member Feedback

35:38 The Problems with Fundamentalism

36:38 Controlling Dress and Underwear

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In this heartwarming episode, Val is the guest on the Therapy Brothers podcast hosted by brothers & fellow relationship therapists Brannon and Tyler Patrick.

The topic is navigating the choppy waters of a marriage in distress due to the faith journey of one of the partners--a demographic of couples that is multiplying rapidly.

The bottom line? A faith transition can (and has) weakened or destroyed many a marriage. But guess what? A faith transition can actually strengthen a marriage in ways that virtually nothing else can--if both partners have the framework and the tools.

Listen in as Valerie shares her experiences and strategies helping countless distressed couples rediscover love by:

• redefining what healthy marriage is
• focusing on values over beliefs
• embracing discomfort for growth
• fostering deep connections through compassion, curiosity, and healthy differentiation of self.

Whether you're in a faith-expanding journey or just want to deepen your relationship, this episode is packed with wisdom to guide you through the intricate dance of intimate relationship & spiritual evolution.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Going Live

00:33 Weekend Stories and Parenting

02:33 Introducing Valerie Hamer

04:00 Valerie's Professional Journey

06:08 Navigating Faith and Relationships

11:49 The Role of Compassion and Understanding

32:39 Process Over Content in Relationships

42:14 Valerie's Resources and Conclusion

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In this episode Valerie is the guest on the podcast Black & White & Gold hosted by Carly and Rob Allred where they engage in a compelling conversation on gender and faith.

Valerie is becoming the prominent voice for the LDS Church advocating for educating men around the harms of patriarchal indoctrination on male development. This work is yielding good results as more and more LDS men are becoming feminists in their own right and are declining traditional attitudes and roles of male privilege while speaking up for the equality needed to create a truly healthy community.

Tune in to hear a narrative that merges deep love for tradition with a call for transformative change.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to Self-Trust and Patriarchal Systems

00:42 Exploring Patriarchy in Season Three

01:29 Defining Patriarchy and Its Impact

03:08 Introducing Valerie Hamaker

03:35 Valerie Hamaker's Background and Work

06:34 Challenges and Resignation from the LDS Church

09:06 The Aftermath and Community Support

12:21 Understanding Patriarchal and Dominator Models

23:37 The Harmful Effects of Patriarchy on Men

24:13 Personal Experiences with Patriarchy

25:33 The Impact of Patriarchy on Men

28:52 Exploring Masculine and Feminine Energies

32:04 Patriarchy and Gender Norms

34:57 The Fragility of Patriarchal Structures

40:55 Hope for Egalitarianism in Church Structures

46:05 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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In this episode Valerie is guest on the Parrish the Thought podcast where Brian Parrish interviews Val on the resistance she experienced from local priesthood leaders as a mental health worker tending to the complex issues of faith crisis in an institution that has yet to understand either the faith journey itself or widespread mental/relational/spiritual health issues that come from pathologizing the faith journey.

As we all know—fear of church leaders did not deter Val & Nathan and their love of YOU [their listeners!] is only stronger these many months following their crucible experience.

Moral of the story? Integrity breeds empowerment.

Listen in and feel empowered to own your own soul too!

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:25 Valerie's Background and Podcast Journey
01:49 Starting the Private Practice
03:57 Intersection of Faith and Mental Health
05:12 Challenges and Growth in the Church
07:06 Launching the Podcast
09:58 Therapeutic Insights and Faith Dynamics
21:41 Confronting Church Leadership
33:22 Complexities of Faith and Leadership
39:31 The Challenge of Updating Church Doctrine
42:25 Personal Journey and Podcast Impact
46:29 Facing Church Leadership
57:19 Decision to Withdraw Membership
01:05:17 Reflections on Church and Personal Integrity
01:16:25 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

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In this episode, Valerie shares an inspiring journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth with The Wholeness Network. The theme was Brene Brown's exploration of the concept of "Braving the Wilderness" and on the heels of three years of learning to live & love one's truth at a potentially high social cost, Val felt that she had a couple of things to say about this.

This episode is a sharing of history, emotion on both ends of the spectrum and ultimately, a tale of courage, compassion, and finding one's true place in the world.

00:00 Finding My Path: Early Struggles and Discoveries

00:40 A Surprising Call to Ministry

01:06 Discovering a Passion for Therapy

02:38 The Journey to Graduate School

03:18 Embracing Complexity in Faith and Life

04:40 Launching a Podcast: Unexpected Success

07:40 Understanding the Faith Journey

08:11 Stages of Faith and Personal Growth

10:25 Challenges and Courage in Faith Transitions

15:40 The Role of Compassion and Empathy

23:45 Trusting Oneself and Embracing the Divine Within

27:49 The Price and Reward of Spiritual Journeys

28:05 Experiences of Resonance and Support

33:28 Navigating Faith and Personal Growth

42:36 Understanding Patriarchy in Faith Communities

50:58 The Impact of Enmeshed Family Systems

58:22 Embracing Wholeness and Self-Integration

Afterward: After their forced resignation from the LDS church in March of 2025, Val & Nathan were invited to share their stories on about a dozen podcasts. Due to Nathan's currently heavy travel schedule, most of these guest appearances are (unfortunately!) just Valerie. Thanks for sharing this journey with the Hamakers!

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In this exciting solo episode, Valerie reflects on the profound personal growth she has experienced over the past few months and shares her plans for what she is informally dubbing the "Latter Day Struggles 2.0" era.

In some ways, you will continue to get what you have come to expect--a respectful & honest conversation about all things Mormon through the lens of healthy psychology. Where 2.0 is going to shine is in several upcoming "Transcending & Including Mormonism" special series that will run every Friday for listeners looking to deepen their faith journey, finally get 'unstuck', or are hungry for their next wave of deepening growth.

Join Val in embarking on this new chapter, offering deeper, more holistic explorations of faith and consciousness.

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