Forgiveness after infidelity is one of the most complicated—and misunderstood—parts of healing. Many couples ask: “Can I ever truly forgive this betrayal?”

In this episode of Relationships Uncomplicated, I sit down with Ana De La Cruz, LMFT—one of our expert therapists at Relationship Experts and a researcher currently writing her PhD dissertation on forgiveness. Together, we take a deep dive into what forgiveness actually means in the aftermath of an affair, how it differs from reconciliation, and why it matters so much for couples who want to rebuild.

You’ll hear us talk about:

• What forgiveness really is (and isn’t) when it comes to infidelity.

• The crucial difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.

• Why “cheap forgiveness” often fails and how to avoid it.

• The role of consistency, transparency, and accountability in making forgiveness possible.

• How forgiveness can be learned and practiced, even if it feels impossible right now.

• Why forgiveness is not a prerequisite for healing but often an outcome of true reconciliation.

If you’ve ever wondered whether forgiveness is possible—or worried that you have to forgive in order to heal—this conversation will give you clarity, compassion, and hope.

✨ Take the Next Step:
At Relationship Experts, we guide couples through our structured It’s Okay to Stay infidelity recovery program. If you’re in the painful aftermath of an affair and don’t know where to turn, we invite you to schedule a free 45-minute consultation with one of our program specialists.

👉 Learn more and schedule your free consultation here

Finding the right help after infidelity can feel overwhelming. When you’re in the middle of heartbreak, trust issues, and emotional exhaustion, the last thing you need is more confusion about who to turn to for support.

In this episode of Relationships Uncomplicated, I’m sharing exactly how to recognize trustworthy, effective help after betrayal — and how to avoid the wrong kind of “experts” or programs that can set your healing back.

You’ll learn:

• What the right kind of help after infidelity looks like
• Why choosing wisely early on makes all the difference
• A step-by-step approach to searching for support
• Red flags to watch for when reviewing websites or programs
• How to prepare for a consultation so you leave with clarity, not more confusion

This is one of those episodes you may want to listen to twice and even take notes on. And to make it easier, I created a free guide called Vetting Your Path Forward: How to Find the Right Help After Infidelity (and Avoid the Wrong One). No email required — just download it here: iditsharoni.com/vetting

💛 If you’re ready to take the next step, you can also schedule a free 45-minute consultation with our program specialist to see if our Infidelity Recovery Program is the right fit for you: iditsharoni.com/45

You deserve real, qualified help — and a path forward you can trust.

You don’t need to have all the answers to begin healing.

In this powerful and compassionate episode of Relationships Uncomplicated, Idit Sharoni, LMFT, is joined by Program Specialist and therapist Alana Tokayer, LMFT, to answer a question many hurt partners silently ask:

“Is it even worth starting the healing process if I’m not sure I want to stay?”

We explore why uncertainty is a completely normal—and expected—part of the aftermath of infidelity, and how beginning the healing process can actually lead to the clarity so many partners are searching for.

• 00:02 – Why uncertainty after infidelity is normal
  Idit introduces the topic and explains how common it is for hurt partners to question whether healing is worth it when they’re unsure about staying.

• 04:24 – The emotional duality of betrayal
  Alana describes the emotional seesaw many hurt partners experience—feeling both deep pain and lingering love—and why that doesn't mean something is wrong with you.

• 08:20 – Why you don’t need to decide before you begin
  Idit explains how healing often leads to clarity, and that deciding to stay is not a requirement to start the recovery process.

• 14:40 – How healing helps clarify what’s possible
  Alana shares the metaphor of the fogged-up window and how clarity emerges from experience—not from overthinking or pressure.

• 22:25 – The difference between being remorseful and acting remorseful
  Idit outlines what true remorse looks like and how an unfaithful partner can appear unremorseful even if they feel regret.

• Why feeling unsure is normal and human after betrayal

• The emotional duality of still loving someone who hurt you

• Why you don’t need to decide whether to stay before beginning healing

• What leads to real clarity (hint: not overthinking!)

• How unfaithful partners can act remorseful, not just feel remorse

• Why trust is not a requirement to begin healing—it’s the result of the process

• Tips for couples sitting in the “gray zone” of uncertainty

Alana shares a moving story of a client named Jenna (name changed), who was completely stuck on the question of whether to stay or go. Through the healing process, without pressure, she found the clarity she was searching for—not all at once, but step by step.

1. Feeling uncertain about staying after infidelity is completely normal.

2. You don’t need to decide before you begin—healing can be the pathway to clarity.

3. Trust and remorse can grow with the right support and guidance.

4. You’re allowed to hold the question and begin healing at the same time.

• Set a short-term healing intention (2–3 months of guided work)

• Find expert help trained in infidelity recovery

• Build a safe, small support system

• Be patient and kind with yourself—you’re not supposed to know everything right now

It’s Okay To Stay – Idit Sharoni’s complete infidelity recovery coaching program for couples who want to rebuild trust and heal after betrayal.

📆 Book your FREE 45-minute consultation to see if this program is right for you:
👉 iditsharoni.com/45

• Learn more about the Infidelity Recovery Program: iditsharoni.com

• Book your consultation with a program specialist: iditsharoni.com/45

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📩 Share this with someone who may be sitting in that same place of uncertainty.