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In this episode of My Self-Care Sht*, Kathy Love explores the subtle yet profound ways emotional codependency can impact our lives. Often, we equate independence with being free from codependency, but the truth is, emotional dependence on others can show up in unexpected ways. Whether it’s seeking validation, comfort, or approval from others, Kathy discusses how these tendencies can create unhealthy dynamics in our relationships and personal well-being. She shares personal anecdotes, reflecting on her own journey of recognizing and healing from emotional codependency. Tune in to learn how to recognize the difference between healthy independence and emotional codependency, and discover how self-awareness and self-love can set you on the path to true freedom.

Show Notes:
In today’s episode, Kathy Love dives into the topic of codependency and what it really means to be emotionally independent.

Key Points:

• Emotional Codependency vs. Independence: Kathy shares how many people mistake emotional independence for physical independence. Just because you’re financially independent or can live on your own doesn’t mean you aren’t emotionally dependent on others.
• Looking for Validation: Whether you need others to validate your worth, make you feel safe, or make you feel understood, these are signs of emotional codependency. Kathy explores how to recognize and address these patterns in your own life.
• The Comfort Trap: Kathy talks about how she used to seek comfort from external sources like people and objects (e.g., furry clothes and blankets) to fill emotional gaps. She explains how she learned to comfort herself and why this self-sufficiency is key to healing.
• Self-Validation: When it comes to simple decisions, like choosing what to wear, Kathy explains the importance of making choices based on what feels right to you, not on the opinions of others.
• The Fear of Vulnerability in Relationships: Kathy shares how sometimes we build walls of independence to protect ourselves from potential hurt or abandonment in relationships. The fear of letting others in can often look like the need for extreme independence.
• Healthy Independence: It’s not about cutting others off; it’s about learning how to ask for help when needed and building confidence in your ability to stand on your own. Kathy emphasizes the need to reflect on whether your independence is empowering you or keeping you isolated.

Takeaways:

• Recognize when your independence is rooted in emotional fear or self-doubt.
• Learn how to self-validate and find comfort within yourself, rather than relying on others.
• Understand that emotional codependency is not about needing others, but rather about learning to trust yourself and ask for help when necessary.

Support the show

If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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