A quiet ranch, a heavy truth, and a voice brave enough to carry both. Lindy returns to share the story of her husband Jeff—a state trooper, a protector, and a man undone by untreated PTSD—and how a culture of silence can turn pain into catastrophe. We walk through the slow burn of cumulative trauma: first-on-scene moments that never leave, sleep that never restores, and the fear that asking for help will cost a badge. The conversation is raw but guided by purpose: surface the signs, remove the shame, and make room for action.

Lindy recounts the night everything changed with heartbreaking clarity—control, speed, fragmented questions, and then the words “It’s too late for that.”

If you’re a firefighter, officer, EMT, or dispatcher sitting in silence, hear this without varnish: the world is not better without you. Therapy is wisdom, not weakness. Faith can anchor you, but you also need peers and professionals who normalize help. We close with hope—stories like Lindy’s can change culture.

If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these lifelines. And if you need a voice on the other end, reach out. We will call you back.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

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Bright skies at the ranch set a sharp contrast to the truth we explore with guest Lindy Brown: the weight a first responder carries doesn’t stay at work. Lindy is the widow of an Iowa State Trooper who died by suicide. She shares why she felt called to speak, how a five-year slow burn of trauma changed her husband, and what families see long before reports or discipline ever show up. We talk openly about the nights that never end, the way alcohol masks pain, and the moment a prom night scuffle became a desperate signal that no one knew how to read.

I open up about my own spiral—pain pills, vodka, suicidal plans—and the lie that strength means silence. Together we break down what hypervigilance looks like at home, why small conflicts can spark explosive reactions, and how culture can unintentionally punish honesty. We dig into leadership responses, the hollow comfort of “leave it at the door,” and the reality that counseling offered without trust is counseling refused. Lindy explains how one horrific call—collecting the remains of a man struck by a semi in a storm—etched itself into Jeff’s mind. No academy prepares you for a five-gallon bucket and picking up human body parts.

This conversation isn’t about blame; it’s about building something better. If you’re a first responder, a spouse, or a leader, you’ll hear practical insight, lived experience, and a clear path toward safer, braver conversations. Hit play, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and if this resonates, subscribe and leave a review so more families can find real help.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

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The laughter at the ranch fades when Breanna opens up about loving a first responder through an officer-involved shooting, postpartum turbulence, and the quiet exhaustion of being everyone’s caretaker. She didn’t grow up in the culture, but working in a jail gave her a front-row seat to stress. What she didn’t expect was how much of that stress would follow her home, how isolating the spouse role can be, and how quickly compassion can run dry when you never get to decompress.

We walked through the day, and everything changed. Breanna explains why healing isn’t a finish line; it’s a practice built from small habits that hold under pressure. The turning point came at an SOS retreat for significant others and spouses. She arrived ready to fix her husband and left with something harder and more hopeful: the courage to start with herself. That shift—owning needs, setting boundaries, and communicating clearly—reshaped their marriage and gave their kids a steadier home.

If you’re a first responder partner who feels invisible or stuck waiting for your loved one to “go first,” this conversation offers a map. We share practical tools for decompression, simple check-in rituals, and language that cuts through defensiveness. We also talk about building real community outside the department, from local spouse meetups to future retreats in the Midwest, so no one has to navigate trauma alone. Need support or resources?

Breanna is available at Breanna@10-42project.org or 515-418-0350. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help more families find their way back to solid ground.

Reach out to Breanna: Breanna@10-42project.org or 515-418-0350. No one walks alone

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
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The most honest conversations about culture don’t start with policy; they start with people. Assistant Director Sherry Poole and instructors Brooke McPherson and Naimah Saadiq invite us inside the Iowa Law Enforcement Academy to talk about what it really takes for women to thrive in a profession that’s been male‑dominated for decades. From day‑one nerves to front‑of‑room leadership, they share how visibility, mentorship, and clear boundaries change the learning environment and, ultimately, the way officers show up for their communities.

Sherry traces the distance from 1987, when being a woman at the academy felt isolating, to today’s growing representation. Brooke unpacks the subtle biases that still show up in training and on calls: the “I’ve got this” takeover, the “don’t strain yourself” babying, and how both can stall growth. Naimah explains the power of mindset, class leadership, and role models who make room for the human side of the job: uniforms that need to fit real bodies, instruction that respects anatomy and recovery, and a safe place to ask questions that once felt off‑limits.

We also get candid about motherhood, pregnancy, and policy. What does fair light duty look like when a pregnant sergeant is stripped of her title? How do two‑officer households juggle court dates, overnight shifts, and childcare without burning out? The team offers practical fixes, protect rank on light duty, budget for gear changes without shame, normalize pumping and recovery, build formal mentorship, and a reframe on coping that goes beyond alcohol to fitness, creativity, and community. If you care about officer wellness, de‑escalation, and retention, this is the blueprint for change that actually sticks.

If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a colleague, and leave a quick review. Your feedback helps more listeners find real talk that makes policing better.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

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The patrol car might be quiet, but your brain isn’t—bills, overtime slots, and that sinking feeling when the card declines. We went back inside the Academy to sit with finance officer Jack Heuton and get honest about money, mental health, and the hidden costs of “I’ll just pick up more shifts.” This is a conversation about readiness that starts at home: when your base needs are secure, training lands better, sleep runs deeper, and relationships stop fraying at the edges.

Jack breaks down a practical, three-prong plan that works in real life: understand and manage your credit without letting it manage you, track every dollar so denial can’t hide in the margins, and choose a debt payoff method that fuels behavior change. We unpack why an emergency fund is the single best fight-stopper in a marriage, how dopamine purchases and gambling apps exploit trauma and fatigue, and why most of us try to “out-overtime” our spending—only to miss the moments we say matter most. The stories are raw, the examples familiar: toys that collect dust because you’re never off, arguments that start with a swipe, and the quiet repair work of choosing presence over more pay.

We also push forward: joint accountability instead of “my money vs. your money,” spending thresholds that require a quick check-in, and retirement planning that begins before 40 steals your compounding. Know your pension, your Social Security timeline, and the inflation reality that waits downrange. Even small, automated contributions can buy future calm, fewer late-career overtime hours, and a life with more choice. If faith anchors you, align your budget with what you value most; generosity and stewardship can steady the heart where numbers alone can’t.

Hit play if you’re ready to trade chaos for clarity—one tracked expense, one paid-off balance, one honest conversation at a time. If this helped, follow the show, share it with a teammate, and leave a quick review so more first responders can find tools that stick.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
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What does it really take to turn a class of recruits into grounded, ethical, and resilient officers in just 16 weeks? We go inside the Iowa Law Enforcement Academy with Director Brady Carney, Chaplain Al Perez, and Attorney Kristi Traynor to unpack the systems, choices, and human stories that shape a residential academy’s culture. The conversation begins with agile leadership—how the team runs on 16-week cycles, listens to instructors, and pivots quickly. That iterative approach blends national standards with local realities across urban and rural departments, ensuring training stays current and practical without losing the human touch.

From there, we dive into the lived experience of a residential model: the distance from family, the pressure that exposes blind spots, and the bonds that form when people from 18 to 51 years old share long days and shared quarters. Christy’s “superhero cape” metaphor reframes ethics as daily practice—tightening the knot through clear boundaries, sound decision-making, and accountability that preserves public trust. We address tough truths head-on: alcohol’s easy grip in first responder culture, the slow erosion that begins with “one more drink,” and the line between support and consequence. Al highlights grief and compartmentalization—how recruits learn to focus under stress while still finding space to heal, with chaplaincy and peer support as anchors.

We also explore practical scaffolding that keeps recruits connected and grounded: earned nights out to recharge with family, facility access and wellness resources, evening windows for calls, and social updates that bring loved ones into the journey. Brady wrestles openly with whether locals should go home nightly and why the benefits of a residential cohort—networking, realism, flexibility for night training—still weigh heavily. Not everyone will finish, and that’s okay. Sometimes choosing out is a courageous win for the person and the profession. For those who stay, the academy’s promise is high standards, honest feedback, and a community that invests in both skill and character. Subscribe, share this conversation with someone starting the academy path, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway—we’d love to hear what surprised you most.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
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Nestled in the tranquility of Godspeed Ranch, this episode unveils the raw, unfiltered journey of healing among first responders. Three guests—each at different stages of their recovery—share how specialized trauma retreats transformed their lives when traditional therapy couldn't reach their deepest wounds.

The conversation centers around the West Coast Post Trauma Retreat (WCPR), a unique program designed specifically for first responders. What makes this approach revolutionary? Cultural competence. As Connor explains, "It's about the only place that you can go and never have to explain the terminology you're using." The clinicians have either served in law enforcement themselves or have close family connections to the profession, creating an environment where participants feel truly understood.

All three guests describe a powerful turning point—Wednesday, the third day of the retreat—when trust finally blossoms. Gentry, a medically retired state trooper, shares how she arrived completely closed off: "By Sunday, there's not a single person there that I would have trusted with any thought that I had. By the end of the week, every single person in that room would have taken a bullet for me." This transformation doesn't come easily. The days are long, running from early morning until late evening, filled with intense emotional work that often brings participants face-to-face with their deepest fears.

Perhaps most revealing is the universal experience of "imposter syndrome" among first responders seeking help. Each guest admits to feeling unworthy—believing they weren't "broken enough," hadn't served long enough, or that others deserved help more. As Brianna, who attended the program for spouses, confesses: "I went out there because I was going to come back with the tools to fix my husband. I didn't realize that some of my childhood is why I had these abandonment issues."

Whether you're a first responder struggling with trauma or someone who loves one, this episode offers a beacon of hope. The healing journey isn't easy, but as these stories demonstrate, finding the right community can make all the difference. Ready to take the first step? Visit our website to learn about our ambassadorship program, where those who've walked this path help guide others toward healing.

https://www.frsn.org/west-coast-post-trauma-retreat.html

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
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What happens when the people we count on to save us need saving themselves? In this raw and powerful conversation, former Marine and police officer Connor Wainscott reveals the hidden battles fought by many first responders – battles that don't end when the uniform comes off.

From experiencing childhood sexual abuse at age eight to confronting death regularly as a police officer, Connor's story is one of accumulating trauma that nearly cost him everything. After discovering a murder victim during field training and later being involved in a shooting that lasted just four seconds but changed his life forever, he found himself spiraling into increasingly risky behavior on duty while battling suicidal thoughts at home.

"I was in three or four felony stops a week," Connor reveals, describing his post-shooting mindset. "I didn't really have the ability to refrain from going after it. It was like I've already been here, I've proven myself, and I don't want someone else to have to go through what I'm dealing with."

The conversation explores the unique challenges first responders face: the stigma around mental health treatment, the difficulty separating identity from the badge, and the instinct to protect loved ones from their darkest experiences – sometimes at the cost of true connection. Connor speaks honestly about marriage during crisis, parenting while struggling, and how his faith ultimately became his foundation for healing.

Most powerfully, we witness how trauma can transform into purpose. Now volunteering at the same retreat that helped save his life, Connor walks alongside other first responders battling similar demons. "I've been able to share the gospel more at these retreats than I ever got the opportunity on a call for service," he shares. "That's where it sucks to have had to go through what I did to get to that point, but I wouldn't give it up for anything."

If you or someone you know works in emergency services, this conversation might just save a life. Because as Connor's journey proves, even our darkest experiences can become the light that guides others home.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
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