Big goals are exciting - and they are also where most people freeze. In this episode, we unpack why “perfect planning” is often just disguised avoidance, and why clarity rarely arrives before you move. Instead, clarity is local: you only get it after you take the next step.

We introduce the Fogged Bridge metaphor for real change: you cannot see the full path, the planks do not appear all at once, and uncertainty is not a problem to solve - it is the medium you move through. Whether you are trying to eat healthier, train consistently, build a business, or finally start a creative project, the same principle applies: big aims don’t require big starts. They require the next small step.

We also challenge the willpower narrative. Self-demands often create rebellion, procrastination, and anxiety. The alternative is negotiation - lowering the friction, shrinking the ask, and building momentum through repeatable wins (like making one healthy snack, doing one minute of stillness, showing up for the next class). Along the way, we explore why New Year’s resolutions fail, how your “why” determines your direction, and why every “wrong step” still produces the clarity you need for the next right one.

On this episode of SHL, Ryan and MJ had the pleasure to sit down and chat with Alysha Gebo about IFS (internal Family Systems) and how this way to thinking and relating to one's own mind can be transformative. Compared and analyzed against a new model of thought, Nested Observed Window, this discussion introduces both of these concepts on a surface level.

These models can be used to unlock perspective and self-understanding!

In this special episode of SHL, we've compiled a number of clips that were either pre-recording discussions, bloopers, or otherwise!

Thanks so much for all the support, and we hope you enjoy a little behind-the-scenes look! Video is recommended for this episode!

Most people don’t fail because they lack motivation - they fail because they demand a perfect plan before taking a step. In this episode, we unpack why big aims don’t require big starts, and why “certainty first” is one of the most common traps in self-change. Using the fogged bridge metaphor - walk, and the path emerges - we explore how clarity is earned locally: one action at a time, one adjustment at a time, one small win that reveals the next step.

We break down why change rarely happens in a clean, linear arc, why New Year’s resolutions often collapse under their own ambition, and how micro-actions (like making one healthy snack, doing one minute of stillness, or showing up once) build the real foundation for transformation. We also talk about the difference between tyrannizing yourself with demands versus negotiating with yourself with realistic, repeatable steps - and how attention over time is what turns uncertainty into direction.

If you’ve been waiting to feel “ready,” this is your reminder: you don’t need a detailed map. You need a compass, a first step, and the willingness to let the bridge reveal itself.

Why does discipline feel strong in the morning and disappear by night? In this episode, we unpack a more realistic view of willpower - not as a personality trait, but as a limited and renewable mental resource.

Using research on cognitive load, decision fatigue, and classic studies like the Israeli judge parole data and the cookie-versus-radish experiment, we explore why good intentions collapse under daily demands. We discuss how environment, routine, and micro-habits protect mental energy, why trying harder often backfires, and how real change comes from designing your life to reduce decisions rather than relying on motivation. This episode offers a grounded framework for building sustainable discipline without self-punishment.

In this episode, MJ is 64 hours into his first 72 hour fast while Ryan, a registered dietitian, walks through what is actually happening under the hood.

They dig into what a three day water fast does from a nutrition and physiology standpoint, why MJ feels mentally sharp and energized, and why that does not necessarily mean his brain is operating at full capacity. Ryan breaks down anabolic vs catabolic states, what autophagy really is, why mitochondria matter so much, and how hormetic stress from fasting, movement, ice, and sauna can all trigger similar cellular cleanup.

They also get into the messy middle that almost no one talks about:

• Why some bodies tolerate prolonged fasting better than others

• The real risks of refeeding and electrolyte shifts after a multi day fast

• Why eating every 2 to 3 hours is probably not serving your metabolism

• How fasting can help some people reshape a mindless relationship with food

• Why fasting can be dangerous territory for those with restrictive patterns, anxiety, or eating disorders

• The difference between rhythm and rigid consistency with food

MJ shares what he is learning about his long standing habit of never eating for hunger and always eating until it is gone, and how going 72 hours without food is already shifting his perspective. Ryan, who himself did years of intermittent fasting, talks about why he eventually stopped and what he does instead now to get many of the same benefits without multi day deprivation.

If you have ever wondered whether a 72 hour fast is powerful, pointless, or harmful, this conversation gives you both the lived experience and the nuanced science to think it through for yourself.

“Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”
That Carl Jung quote anchors this entire conversation.

In a time where the Surgeon General has declared loneliness a public health epidemic, we break down how we got here — not because we lack people, but because we’ve lost depth. We talk about why you can be in a room full of friends and still feel alone, how technology replaced real presence, and how shallow interactions slowly erode meaning without us noticing.

Ryan and MJ explore:

• Why our lives are 100 miles wide and one inch deep

• How phones became the Trojan Horse that stole our attention

• Why we skip from video to video but can’t sit through a song

• The compounding path toward disconnection

• Why connection requires two people willing to put the phone down

• How to rebuild depth through rituals, presence, and intention

• The counterculture that might save us — and how you can join it

This episode is a direct challenge to the superficiality shaping modern life. It’s a reminder that connection doesn’t happen by accident — it happens by attention.

If you’ve been feeling more overstimulated yet more empty, more occupied yet more alone, this conversation will help you understand why, and what to do next.

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Lorna Brunelle, a lifelong mentor, performer, author, and community builder who has spent 30 years helping others find their voice. This conversation is different. Lorna opens up about her year of surviving colorectal cancer, navigating an unexpected pulmonary embolism, and rebuilding her identity through rituals of gratitude, purpose, and community.

She shares how she kept her mindset intact through chemo, surgery, and isolation, how she continued to lift others even while fighting for her own life, and why purpose is the most stabilizing force we have when everything becomes chaotic. We explore her daily rituals, her spiritual grounding, how she pulled energy from creativity when she couldn’t pull it from food or movement, and why meaning-making isn’t optional – it’s necessary.

This is an episode about resilience, identity, and the real work of staying alive, connected, and intentional. Lorna’s story is a testament to what purpose can do.