Épisodes

  • Shift 3 - Drive Time
    Sep 5 2025

    🎉 WELCOME BACK, SMILE ASSOCIATE! 🎉
    You’ve successfully re-qualified for continued participation in the Smackie’s Smile Shack™ Extended Labor Enrichment Cycle™, and it’s time to get back on the clock!

    Today, we'll be tackling Module 3 - Drive-Thru Decorum and Static-Free Smiling™. Within this state-of-the-art module, you'll learn:

    🚗 How to master high-velocity Drive-Thru Interpersonal Exchange™ (without blinking too often).
    🎧 Proper headset calibration and noise filtration during active distortion events.
    👥 Break Room Mingling™ - because even when you're off the clock, you're still on the team.
    📼 Why your Training Tape keeps updating in real-time, and why that’s a sign of progress.

    Please remember: If the headset whispers, do not respond. The Drive-Thru only listens one way.

    At Smackie’s, we love when a team member really gives it their all.™
    Smile Big. Breathe Light. Serve Forever.™
    Let’s Make This Your Best Shift Yet™!

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    22 min
  • Shift 2 - Behind the Counter
    Sep 5 2025

    🍟 WELCOME BACK, TEAM MEMBER! 🍟

    Your Smackie’s Smile Shack™ Orientation Experience continues with Level-2 Training: The Fryer Frown Index & Emotional Heat Management!


    In this shift, you’ll:

    • Report for duty and enjoy a guided walk to the break room (no unauthorized detours, please)

    • Receive crucial training from our legacy-encoded VHS module (headaches are normal!)

    • Step behind the register and practice real-time customer interface execution

      • Observe fryer operations - just don’t get too close to the oil.
      • Shadowing Jericho: Your assigned Shift Mentor™ is... momentarily unavailable
    • Remember: Your uniform is your skin now. Your smile is your shield.
      Please remain in position. Help is on the way.
      (Help is always on the way.)

      Let’s Make This Your Best Shift Yet™

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    19 min
  • Shift 1 - Welcome Aboard!
    Sep 5 2025

    🎉 CONGRATULATIONS, VALUED TEAM MEMBER! 🎉


    You've been selected by the Smackie’s Smile Shack™ Onboarding Initiative for Permanent Employee Integration™, and we couldn’t be more thrilled to welcome you to your forever family!

    In this mandatory Level-1 Welcome Module, you’ll discover how to:


    • Embrace your role as a Smackie’s Front-Facing Interpersonal Interface™

    • Comply with Smackie's Smile Shack Eye Contact Protocol (even when there’s no one there)

    • Sit through your first Training Tape Encounter™ (we think you’ll find the host familiar)

    • And how to make every shift feel like your very first, over and over and over again!

    Remember: You are not alone. You are part of the team now.
    And the team is always watching.

    Let’s Make This Your Best Shift Yet™

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    15 min
  • Welcome to the Team!
    Aug 14 2025

    Congratulations, applicant! Your onboarding is now active.
    Orientation begins promptly at 7:30PM on Friday, September 5th.
    Uniform provided. Exit privileges revoked.
    Please report to your assigned station with a smile.

    This voicemail confirms your place on the team.
    We’re so excited to meet you.
    And we will.

    - Smackie’s
    Fast. Friendly. Forever.

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    1 min
  • Smile Submission Received!
    Jul 10 2025

    Thank you for your interest in Smackie’s Smile Shack®! 😊
    This recording has been preserved for training, onboarding, and mandatory morale amplification.

    In this tape, a prospective team member answers basic questions about customer service, solo shifts, and condiment organization. What a delight!

    Don’t worry - if you’re hearing this, your application is already under review.
    Your shift begins soon.


    🎂 Uniforms provided. Exit optional.🎙️ Smackie’s Smile Shack: You bring the grin. We’ll bring the heat.

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    1 min