Most people suck at supporting others. Yeah I said it. You want to help but you end up making things worse. You jump in with unsolicited advice. You minimize their feelings. You compare their situation to someone else's. Stop doing that. Stop trying to give them perspective. Stop saying "it was meant to happen" or "you're better off" or "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." That's not helping. That's minimizing their pain. Those phrases make people feel small and unheard. You want to help? Validate their feelings instead. Say "that sucks" or "I can't imagine how painful that is." You're not validating what they're feeling. You're validating their right to feel something. Their emotions matter. Their emotions don't need to be hidden. Don't compare their situation to anyone else's. Don't say "I've been there" or "this happened to my friend too." Their pain is theirs. Their situation is unique. If you want them to find examples, ask questions. "Do you know anyone who went through something similar? How did they handle it?" Let them make the connections. Let them search for answers themselves. Check in with them. Say "I'm here if you need me." Then actually be there. Don't force yourself into their situation. Make yourself available. Let it be their choice to reach out. Show up with actions.Stop trying to fix everything. Stop minimizing their feelings. Stop making it about you. Just be present. Ask questions. Validate emotions. Show up with real help. That's what people need when life gets hard.

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