If you enjoyed this topic, you're going to want to join Empowered Surgeons. There’s a dedicated classroom to this topic in the “Surgeon Self-Concept” module. Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Watch Charles Duhigg's TEDx talk here.

Get his book, Supercommunicators: how to unlock the secret languange of connection here.

To recap

Supercommunicators:

1. Listen closely to what’s said and unsaid
2. Ask the right questions
3. Recognize and match others’ moods
4. Make their feelings easy to read

The four types of conversations are:

1. Social
2. Emotional
3. Experiential
4. Practical

Social conversations answer the question, "Who are we?" The goal=acknowledgement.

Emotional conversations answer the question, "How do we feel?" The goal=empathy.

Experiential conversations answer the question, "What was that like?" The goal=understanding.

Practical conversations answer the question, "What's the solution?" The goal=decision making.

The more we match and synchronize with the person we’re communicating with, the more effective the communication becomes. Doctors often try to jump straight into practical conversations with patients, believing it saves time. In reality, first matching the patient’s style of communication and then gently guiding them into a practical discussion is a far more efficient—and effective—approach.

*****************SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING******************

This episode contains discussion of suicidal thoughts. Please listen carefully or, if this topic is especially triggering for you, skip this one entirely.

In this episode, Dr. Femi Oyewole shares his deeply personal journey of navigating medical training while living with undiagnosed ADHD. He opens up about how the pressures of residency, coupled with ADHD-related challenges, led to anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts, and how a leave of absence, support from loved ones, professional help, and self-discovery transformed his life.

We explore:

✨ How ADHD can masquerade as anxiety and depression, especially during times of high stress

✨ The spiral of negative self-talk: “I can’t manage my life → I’m not worthy → I’m worthless”

✨ Doing well at work while your personal life quietly unravels

✨ The power of a diagnosis: learning he wasn’t broken, and strategies for managing ADHD

✨ Why medication and coping strategies are both essential but not always enough

✨ The critical role of supportive programs and communities when taking a mental health break

✨ Signs of ADHD often missed in high-achieving adults, especially women

✨ How ADHD traits, like rejection sensitive dysphoria and executive dysfunction, impact everyday life and training

✨ Dealing with stigma as a neurodivergent physician

✨ How lived experience with mental health challenges can make you a better doctor

✨ Meditation, gratitude, and re-directing your brain as tools for healing

✨ Advice for physicians who suspect they may have ADHD

Femi's story is a powerful call to action to prioritize your mental health, lean on your support system, and embrace your authentic self.

Follow Dr. Femi Oyewole on instagram here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Get Boyd Varty's book, The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life, access his courses, or retreat with him here.

What if losing your way isn’t a detour, but the only way forward?

In surgery—and in life—we’re taught to crave certainty. A clear path. A guaranteed outcome. But what if that very craving is what keeps us stuck?

In this episode of Surgeons with Purpose, Dr. Mel Thacker invites you into a conversation about uncertainty, purpose, and the courage to follow your inner tracker. Mel explores how self-trust can become a portal to transformation, especially for those of us navigating burnout, career crossroads, or the deep sense that something in our lives isn’t quite aligned.

You’ll hear reflections like:

✨ “Too much uncertainty is chaos, but too little is death.” - Boyd Varty

🐾 “As paradoxical as it sounds, going down a path and not finding a track is part of finding the track.” - Boyd Varty

💡 “If you can see your whole life’s path laid out, then it’s not your life's path.” -Joseph Campbell

We’ll unpack how following your bliss may lead you into spaces where others don’t understand or respect you, and why that might be the most vital, alive place you can stand.

This episode is for you if:

✅ You’re a surgeon (or any high-achiever) standing at a career crossroads.

✅ You feel restless or disconnected from your original purpose.

✅ You’re tired of “playing it safe” and longing for a life that’s fully your own.

Because on the trail, as in life, there’s not one right way. The only mistake is refusing to choose at all.