A long-distance call with questionable audio quality spirals quickly into fashion advice, livestock comparisons, silent Caleb, and a surprisingly long telephone cord.

Listeners are introduced to a popular local garment — a fleece-lined “chook” (hat) — made of lamb wool and allegedly topped with a rabbit testicle pom-pom. If no rabbits are available, a fairy substitute will do. The logistics are unclear.

Music preferences in Bootstuck are discussed, but the town’s recent shipment of broken Bluetooth earbuds means no one can actually hear anything — leading to mass public singalongs that are entirely disconnected and wildly off-key. Gerald has blue teeth and is therefore assumed to be the key to solving this.

Meanwhile, Caleb remains silent, which is apparently normal. Internal organ communication is suspected.

A box-delivered phone cord — one kilometer long — allows the caller to take calls deep into the woods, provided he doesn’t go uphill. He just follows the cord home. The math checks out.

Key Moments:

• Fleece hats with rabbit or fairy anatomy
• Gerald’s blue teeth = community Bluetooth
• Music headphones that don’t play music
• A one-kilometer landline shared with Dave
• Lollipop time anthem (“Pop pop pop!”)

If you’ve ever tried to get a straight answer in a snowstorm while wearing a testicle hat and shouting Britney lyrics into a dead Bluetooth earbud — this one’s for you.

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