In this In Practice Episode, Dr. Cottone and I talk about rivalries in sports and how sometimes they get more serious than intended. We connect our favorite rivalries to the concepts of Tribalism, to unpack how it shows up in sports fandom.

Guest:
John G. Cottone, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry within the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. His research—on psychotherapy outcome, executive functioning and the neurological correlates of schizophrenia—has been published in acclaimed peer-reviewed journals, including Archives of General Psychiatry, Psychotherapy, and Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion. He has a youtube channel called MindCube 3D. He has contributed to Psychology Today, The New York Times, and The Washington Post and is the author of several books included: Who Are You? Essential Questions for Hitchhikers on the Road of Truth and Z-score: How a Statistic Used in Psychology Will Revolutionize Baseball.

To learn more about Dr. Cottone, please visit:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-cube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcuWgaynspx77K4vavXIRfw
mindcube3d@gmail.com

Timestamps:
4:00 – Idea – Adopting Stories of Teams You Root Foor
6:40 – Rivalries – Yankees and Mets
8:00 – Rivalries – Georgia and Alabama
9:30 – Idea – Big Brother Little Brother (Family Dynamics Play Out in Rivalries)
11:20 – Concept – Bringing Personal Attributes to Tribes/Teams
12:40 – Tribal Mentality – Wake Forest at Louisville
16:20 – Research - Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes Experiment (Elliott, 1986)
17:45 – Heated Games – Georgia and LSU
19:30 – Idea – Connecting Rivalries to Politics
21:00 – Rivalries – Rangers and Islanders
16:00 – Connection Mentality – Tribalism can lead to connecting with people
27:00 – Concept – Dissonance within a Tribe
29:00 – Research - More Than a Game: Football Fans and
Marriage Equality (Harrison, 2016)
33:00 – Concept – Prioritizing Truth vs. Aligning with a Tribe
33:30 – Concept – Seeing Different Perspectives
35:00 – Concept – Reductionism in Tribalism
35:45 – Best Rivalries – Michigan v. Ohio State
35:45 – Best Rivalries – Celtics v. Lakers
36:50 – Best Rivalries – Alabama v. Auburn
35:45 – Best Rivalries – Cavaliers v. Warriors

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
G Mills: https://gmills.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Benny Voncken highlights his personal experience using stoicism to live a present, exploring his true nature. He unpacks key ideas of Stoicism to help people life a grounded life of virtue, using emotions to inform reason, and find more joy (eudemonia) in daily life.

Guest:
Benny Voncken is the co-founder of Via Stoica and the Via Stoica Podcast. He and his team offer Stoic life coaching, corporate training, motivational speaking, and workshops. Our mission is to help people live better lives through the creation and application of a philosophy of Life, mainly based on Stoicism. Benny is from the Netherlands and has lived abroad for over 15 years. After teaching for almost 12 years, he focused on Stoicism and coaching to improve my life and to help as many people discover who they are and find their path and purpose in life.
You can find Benny on

To learn more about Benny, please visit:
https://viastoica.com/
https://es.linkedin.com/in/bennyvoncken

3:00 – Personal Story – How Did Benny Find Stoicism
5:00 – Research – Misunderstood Stoicism: The negative Association Between Stoic Ideology and well-Being (Karl et al., 2022)
5:50 – Stoicism Principles – Outcome: To Reach Eudemonia
6:30 – Stoicism Principles – Live in Accordance with Nature
5:50 – Stoicism Principles – 4 Cardinal Virtues (Wisdom, Justice, Courage, Temperance)
7:20 – Stoicism Principles – Guide By Reason, Live in Positive Emotions
8:30 – Stoicism Principles – Reflecting on Impulsive Emotions
9:45 – Concept – Reflecting on Emotions is Key to Using Reason
12:30 – Past Episode – Episode 17: Consent and Becoming an Adult with Sarah Casper
13:30 – Example – Rain and Perspective Taking within Stoicism
14:45 – History – Timeline of Stoicism
15:20 – Concept – Dichotomy of Control
16:45 – Concept – Dealing with Setbacks
22:20 – Concept – Living in Accordance with Nature
26:00 – Student Strategies – Explore Your Philosophy for Life (What are you supposed to do?)
28:55 – Student Strategies – Exploring Your Nature (Listening to Internals and Externals)
33:30 – Parent Strategies – “We have one mouth and two ears, so we should listen more and speak less.” (Xeno)
34:40 – Parent Strategies – Listen to a child, without absorbing all their feelings
36:20 – Research - Prediction error determines how memories are organized in the brain (Kennedy et al., 2024)
39:10 – Stoicism Practice – Journaling
46:00 – Personal Practice – Journaling. Getting Things on Paper. Poetry.

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Jinsang: https://jinsangbeats.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Dr. Muller shares his professional experience on the power of relationships. He highlights how relationships are important as a foundation for personal growth. Strategies for parents and young adults are shared to build positive relationships.

Guest:
Robert T. Muller, Ph.D. completed his postdoctoral fellowship at Harvard, was on faculty at the University of Massachusetts, and is currently a professor at York University in Toronto. Dr. Muller is a fellow and member of several scientific societies, and is the 2024 recipient of the Pierre Janet Award for his scholarship on trauma. His most recent psychotherapy book, "Trauma & the Struggle to Open Up" was given the 2019 Written Media Award, for the year's best written work on trauma. And his award-winning bestseller, "Trauma & the Avoidant Client" has been translated widely. As lead investigator on several multi-site programs to treat interpersonal trauma, Dr. Muller has lectured internationally. He founded an online magazine, "The Trauma & Mental Health Report," that is now visited by over 100,000 readers a year. With over 30 years in the field, he practices in Toronto.

To learn more about Dr. Muller, please visit:
https://psychotherapytoronto.ca/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma
https://www.youtube.com/user/thetraumareport

To learn more about Trauma Practice for Healthy Communities
https://traumapractice.org/

4:00 – Personal Story – How Dr. Muller Became Interested in Shame Research
10:23 – Concept – What’s Important About a Therapeutic Relationship
11:00 – Common Factors for Good Therapy – Therapeutic Relationship, Readiness for Change, Hopefulness
20:30 – Concepts – Relationships as a Source of Healing and Pain
26:00 – Concepts – Therapeutic Space is a Ground to Explore Interpersonal Dynamics
28:00 – Ways of Coping – Avoidance and Trauma
30:00 – Ways of Coping – Humor to Avoid Emotions
33:40 – Idea – Compass of Shame (Dr. Donald L. Nathanson)
35:30 – Student Strategies to Explore Intense Feelings – Journaling
39:50 – Ways of Coping – Oversharing, Dissociating
41:00 – College Resources – Most College Counseling Centers are Free
42:00 – Free Resources - Trauma Practice for Healthy Communities
44:00 – Free Resources – Trauma Informed Yoga
45:50 – Concept – There are a Lot of Ways to Bring About Healing
47:15 – Personal Strategies – Hanging with Granddaughter, Music, Cooking (Hungarian Food)
50:30 – Parent Strategies to Support Child Traumatic Experiences – Reacting with Support and Empathy
58:30 – Therapist Strategy – Trauma Work Can’t be done Alone (Be Part of a Process Group)

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Joseph Jacobs: https://josephjacobsmusic.bandcamp.com/music

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Dr. Benau explores relational trauma and how shame and pride influence connecting with others. He highlights his research, professional experience, and personal stories to highlight how we can transcend shame to connect with others.

Guest:
Dr. Ken Benau Ph.D. has been a licensed clinical psychologist since 1990, and maintains a private practice in Kensington, CA, located in the San Francisco Bay Area. Dr. Benau has expertise in working with children and adults with various learning and developmental differences, including those living with LD, ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder. He has a special interest and expertise in shame and pride-informed psychotherapy with survivors of relational trauma. Dr. Benau has presented his ideas about shame, pride, and dissociation and their therapeutic applications in psychotherapy with relational trauma survivors at various international conferences, webinars and podcasts. He has also written several peer reviewed articles with that same theme, where he introduced the concept and phenomena of pro-being pride, a powerful antidote to traumatic shame states. Pro-being pride is the experience of taking delight in one’s unique ways of being and relating to oneself, others, and in the world. Dr. Benau’s book, Shame, Pride, and Relational Trauma: Concepts and Psychotherapy, was published by Routledge in March, 2022.

To learn more about Dr. Benau, please visit:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/ken-benau-kensington-ca/279286

5:00 – Work History – Understanding Pride and Pro-Being
7:30 – Concepts – Relational Trauma
9:00 – Concept – How Pro-Being, Shame, and Pride Interact
11:30 – Concept – Attunement, Rupture, and Repair
14:50 – Concept – The Good Enough Parent (D.W. Winnicott)
20:30 – Concept – How Ignoring Can Lead to Relational Trauma
21:20 – Concept – How Shame Can Show in Relationships
22:30 – Idea – Shame State
25:00 – Idea – How Does Shame Show Up: Perfectionism, Anger, Anxiety
30:00 – Concept – Guilt vs. Shame
34:50 – Adult Strategy – Verbalize and Show Non-Judgement
36:30 – Concept – Shame is Protective
37:25 – Strategies to Heal from Shame – Building Connections
42:45 – Concept – The Emotional Bank
45:40 – Strategies to Heal from Shame – Building Confidence
48:30 – Strategies to Heal from Shame – Listening
50:00 – Idea – Affects are on a Spectrum (Sylvan Thompkins)
52:30 – Parent Strategies for ProBeing – Curiosity Around Parenting
52:30 – Parent Strategies for ProBeing – Building Connections
58:30 – Student Strategies for ProBeing – Watching for How People Make Connections
68:00 – Previous Episode – Purpose & Happiness (Tracy Bower)
69:00 – Personal Wellness Strategies – Hanging with Friends

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Open Concept: https://opencontact.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Ashley Leonard highlights her extensive experience leading mentoring programs in chicago, and how it builds connection and belonging in students and teachers. We explore the benefits of mentoring and its relationship to improved academic and emotional outcomes for adolescents.

Guest:
Ashley Leonard. Education for 23 years. Counselor at Langston Hughes in Roseland Neighborhood of Chicago, IL. She has been a counselor for 15 years. Program Ambassador for Erika's Lighthouse. Speaks for their program which is free. Also do part time therapy, at Olive Branch Associates.

To connect with Ashley, please email:
aleonard3@uchicago.edu

To learn more about mentoring, please explore the following:
https://toandthrough.uchicago.edu/research

Timestamps:
4:00 – Personal Story – What Led You to Exploring Mentorship?
7:30 – Concept – Social Capital to Connect to Experiences
9:45 – Personal Story – How did you start the To & Through Program?
13:15 – Concept – Adolescence is the 2nd Most Important for Child development
13:15 – Research - Life course epidemiology: recognizing the importance of adolescence (Viner et al., 2015)
17:22 – Concept – What can mentorship look like in a high school?
18:30 – Concept – Mentors Need Understanding Adolescent Issues
19:22 – Concept – Mentors Benefit from Encouraging While Having High Expectations
20:00 – Concept – Mentoring Takes Time Commitment
21:20 – Benefits – Relationships (Belonging) are the Foundation for Success Academically
22:00 – Research - The University of Chicago Consortium on School Research - Foundations for Young Adult Success Report
22:00 – Research - The University of Chicago Consortium on School Research - Investing in Adolescents
24:20 – Strategy – Strength Based Conferences
27:00 – Research – The Impact of Student–Teacher Relationships on Black Middle School Boys (Leverett et al., 2022)
28:30 – Student Strategy – Finding Mentors – Ask For Help!
28:30 – Parent Strategy – Exploring Mentors – Formal Mentorship Programs Help, Especially for Post-Secondary Work
34:20 – Parent Strategy – Exploring Mentors – Ask Other Parents about Partnerships
38:30 – Student Strategy – Build Your Board of Directors
46:00 – Idea – How to Start a Mentorship Program
47:10 – Personal Strategy – Music & Walks

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/

Korey Wade:
@koreywade / @sphereofhiphop
Available now wherever you stream/download music.
Bandcamp: https://sphereofhiphop.bandcamp.com

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Dr. Cottone explores the ideas of tribalism and how it offers benefits and drawbacks around human connection. He emphasizes how identifying with a group can help people connect, survive, and have positive feelings, while having the potential to harm others.

Guest:
John G. Cottone, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry within the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. His research—on psychotherapy outcome, executive functioning and the neurological correlates of schizophrenia—has been published in acclaimed peer-reviewed journals, including Archives of General Psychiatry, Psychotherapy, and Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion. He has a youtube channel called MindCube 3D. He has contributed to Psychology Today, The New York Times, and The Washington Post and is the author of several books included: Who Are You? Essential Questions for Hitchhikers on the Road of Truth and Z-score: How a Statistic Used in Psychology Will Revolutionize Baseball.

To learn more about Dr. Cottone, please visit:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-cube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcuWgaynspx77K4vavXIRfw
mindcube3d@gmail.com

Timestamps:
5:00 – Personal Story – What Brought Dr. Cottone into Exploring Tribalism
8:00 – Personal Story – Stepping Outside Tribes
8:55 – Book – Sapiens : a brief history of humankind (Harari, 2014)
9:30 – Reference – Tribalism: How to Be a Part of the Solution, Not the Problem (Cottone, 2025)
10:20 – Concept – Impact of Critiquing Your Own Tribe (Truthtellers and Traitors)
12:00 – Research – ‘They Saw a Protest’: Cognitive Illiberalism and the Speech-Conduct Distinction (Kanahan et al., 2011)
13:50 – Concept – Our Fist Tribe is Our Family
17:30 – Concept – Tribalism & Resources/Survival
17:47 – Research – Threat and the Rise of Fear Politics and Tribalism (Hobfoll, 2019)
19:00 – Concept – What Can Tribalism Look Like Day to Day?
22:10 – Research – Being part of a group can create positive feelings (Research)
23:40 – Benefit – You Can Make Connections with Other People in New Places
26:30 – Benefit – Decrease Loneliness, Increased Feelings of Empowerment
28:00 – Concept – Positive Benefits of Tribalism
29:50 – Concept – Options to Act on the Excesses of Your Tribe
34:00 – Dangers – Turning a Blind Eye to Your Tribe (Denial)
37:00 – Concept – How to Sit with Cognitive Dissonance from Your Tribe
42:30 – Student Strategies – Being Flexible to Making New Connections
51:30 – Story – Story of Shibboleth & Tribalism
54:50 – Parent Strategies – Emphasize Time and Perspective
58:00 – Research – Social connection as a key target for youth mental health (Birrell et al., 2025)
64:00 – Emotional Practice – Meditation & Spirituality

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
DJsNeverEndingStory: https://djsneverendingstory.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

In this In Practice Episode, Audra leads a conversation about Resilience, emphasizing the power of stories to explore resilience. She shares her professional stories helping parents and teens to create safe spaces for resiliency in stressful situations.

Guest:
Audra Lancaster is a District leader for school counselors in the State of Virginia.
Audra is an accomplished VCU graduate with a master's degree in Education, School Counseling. She has returned to VCU in pursuit of her Ph.D. in Counselor Education and Supervision to continue her lifelong work in providing comprehensive services and leadership in this field. With over 16 years in education, both in K-12 and Higher Education, Audra has worked intensively to serve her community as a counselor, educator, advocate, leader, and administrator (district leader in the state of VA). Along the way, she has supported her students, families, clients, and colleagues as they set out to grow personally and professionally. Audra currently serves as the district leader for School Counseling in a large school district in the US.

To learn more about Audra Lancaster, please visit:
https://www.noirecoaching.com/coach

Timestamps:
4:30 – Personal Story – What Connected Audra to Exploring Resilience
7:00 – Concepts – Important Ideas on Resilience
9:10 – Idea – How to Create Spaces for Resilience
12:30 – Research - Pain and emotion: a biopsychosocial review of recent research (Lumley et al., 2012)
13:20 – Concept – Responding Differently to the Same Difficulties
15:30 – Themes for Resilience Skills – Community, Opportunities, Choice
19:50 – Parent Strategies – Creating Safety to Explore Options and Next Steps
25:30 – Professional Story – A Professional Story on Resilience in Real Time
32:10 – Student Strategies – Using Your Support Network (Co-Regulation)
33:10 – Student Strategies – Having A Community
35:00 – Book - Restorative Circles in Schools: A Practical Guide for Educators - Second Edition
35:00 – Concept – Building Community to Navigate Future Distress
37:30 – Professional Story – Building Connections to Have Support
40:00 – Concept – No One Size Fits all for Resilience
42:00 – Concept – Nuance in Resilience
45:00 – Research - Population vs Individual Prediction of Poor Health From Results of Adverse Childhood Experiences Screening (Baldwin et al., 2021)
46:00 – Concept – ACEs score is limited in predicting poor health at the individual level
49:00 – Concept – Parenting Changes Developmentally from Providing Safety to Providing Skills
52:00 – Research – Effectiveness of resilience-based interventions in schools for adolescents: a systematic review and meta-analysis (Llistosella et al., 2023)
53:00 – Personal Strategy – Connection w/ People

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Gas Lab: https://gas-lab.bandcamp.com/music

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast

Dr. Hanek explores the importance of vulnerability and how it can show up in sex and intimacy. She explores how this area of life is extremely important for discovering adulthood and establishing healthy relationships

Guest:
Dr. Bailey Hanek is the co-author of Navigating Intimacy: An Introductory Guide to Couples and Sex Therapy. She focuses her work on sex therapy, where he co-author focuses on relationships and communication. She has trained in a variety of behavioral health settings, providing individual, couple, and family therapy, as well as testing services.

To learn more about Dr. Bailey Hanek, please visit:
https://www.centralsquarepsych.com/
drhanek@centralsquarepsych.com

Timestamps:
4:20 – Concept – What makes talking about sex hard?
6:25 – Idea – Vulnerability and Talking About Sex
8:00 – Idea – The Golden Rule of Sex
11:20 – Previous Episode – E17: Consent and Becoming an Adult
13:10 – Concepts – Cultured and Gendered Scripts for Vulnerability
16:00 – Concepts – Scripts Get in the Way of What Individually Desire
18:00 – Concepts – Challenging Assumptions about Desire Based on Identity
21:10 – Concepts – Dialogue and Talking About Desire
27:00 – Concepts – Comfort and Desire
29:00 – Concepts – Fear of Shame and Vulnerability
31:30 – Personal Strategies for Vulnerability – Layout a Gameplan / A Desire Menu
31:30 – Personal Strategies for Vulnerability – Debrief After the Act
37:00 – Personal Strategies – Roses and Thorns
38:00 – Barriers to Vulnerability – Shame
40:00 – Barriers to Vulnerability – Differences & Incompatibility
43:00 – Parent Strategies – Changing Perspective From Fear to Pleasure & Safety
46:45 – Parent Strategies – Normalizing STI Screening
50:00 – Story – How Dr. Hanek Found This Work
53:40 – Debunking Sex Myths – #1: Men Have a Higher Sex Drive
54:20 – Debunking Sex Myths – #2: Sex is not a Drive, It’s a Motivated Behavior
55:00 – Debunking Sex Myths - #3: You Can Influence Sexual Desire
56:00 – Book - Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski
57:40 – Debunking Sex Myths – #4: Level of Desire is Related to Attraction
54:20 – Debunking Sex Myths – #5: Sex is not a Drive, It’s a Motivated Behavior
60:00 – Personal Strategies for Wellness - Gardening

Special thanks to musical artists:
Psalm Trees: https://psalmtreesbeats.bandcamp.com/
Stan Forebee: https://stanforebee.bandcamp.com/

To provide suggestions for new topics in future episodes, visit:
present-mind.org/podcast