
The “Nice” Version Isn’t Proof They’ve Changed
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They’re kind again… so does that mean they’ve changed? In this episode, we unpack why the “nice” version is part of the abuse cycle — and how to tell the difference between real change and a calculated reset.
One of the most confusing parts of an emotionally abusive relationship is when the cruelty suddenly stops — and the “nice” version of the person shows up. Maybe they’re warmer, calmer, even kind for a while. You start to wonder… are they finally changing? Was I wrong about the abuse?
In this episode, I break down why that “nice” version isn’t separate from the abuse — it’s part of the cycle. We’ll explore how kindness can be used as a tactic, why it often appears when you’re pulling away or setting boundaries, and how intermittent reinforcement keeps you hooked in the trauma bond.
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