UFC Noche didn’t have the star quality it should have for a card of the magnitude a “Noche” event is supposed to but it did deliver action in some of the fights. From the opening bout, we were treated to an electrifying TKO from Daniil Donchenko, and another from Alden Coria. For comic relief, we were treated to Dominick Cruz thinking Alice Periera was actually Aline Pereira, and we didn’t have to watch an entire Sedriques Dumas bout since that one ended in a NC thanks to an accidental low blow.

Dusko Todorovic finally got the slump-breaker he desperately needed when he finished Jose Medina and Tatiana Suarez scored a unanimous decision over Amanda Lemos. Quang Le got starched and Alex Hernandez beat Diego Ferreira within an inch of his life thanks to a referee that clearly liked live action snuff films.

Kelvin Gastelum won a fairly comfortable decision over Dustin Stolzfus and can now go back to the buffet with his crazy hot wife. Rafa Garcia stopped Jared Gordon in the third, and Rob Font got outworked by David Martinez who took the win via unanimous decision.

Finally, the last Fighting Nerd with an undefeated UFC record got starched with a spinning elbow dealt by Diego Lopes, thus sealing the fate of the once undefeated team (inside the octagon). I feel like Zane’s early precognition about this team was spot on. Vindication! Now, let’s check out the rest of the results and bonuses while we’re here.

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UFC Noche Results

* 145 lbs.: Diego Lopes vs. Jean Silva — Lopes def. Silva by TKO (spinning back elbow and ground strikes), round 2 (4:48)

* 135 lbs.: Rob Font vs. David Martinez — Martinez def. Font by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 155 lbs.: Rafa Garcia vs. Jared Gordon — Garcia def. Gordon by TKO (ground strikes), round 3 (2:27)

* 185 lbs.: Kelvin Gastelum vs. Dustin Stoltzfus — Gastelum def. Stolzfus by unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

* 155 lbs.: Alexander Hernandez vs. Diego Ferreira — Hernandez def. Ferreira by TKO (punches), round 2 (3:46)

* 135 lbs.: Santiago Luna vs. Quang Le — Luna def. Le by KO (punches), round 1 (2:48)

* 185 lbs.: Jose Medina vs. Dusko Todorovic — Todorovic def. Medina by submission (rear naked choke), round 1 (4:21)

* 155 lbs.: Claudio Puelles vs. Joaquim Silva — Silva def. Puelles by split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)

* 115 lbs.: Tatiana Suarez vs. Amanda Lemos — Suarez def. Lemos by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 125 lbs.: Jesus Aguilar vs. Luis Gurule — Aguilar def. Gurule (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

* 185 lbs.: Zach Reese vs. Sedriques Dumas — Reese vs. Dumas ends in a no contest (accidental low blow), round 1 (0:51)

* 125 lbs.: Alessandro Costa vs. Alden Coria — Coria def. Costa by TKO (punches), round 3 (0:47)

* 135 lbs.: Montserrat Rendon vs. Alice Pereira — Rendon def. Pereira by split decision (28-29, 29-28, 30-27)

* 170 lbs.: Rodrigo Sezinando vs. Daniil Donchenko — Donchenko def. Sezinando by TKO (punches), round 1 (4:27)

UFC Noche Bonuses

* FOTN:

* POTN:

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UFC 319 had some great moments leading up to the main event with several highlight reel finishes. Anthony Hernandez putting a surprise whooping on Chase Hooper, Joseph Morales making his second stint in the UFC count in a big way, Oleksiejczuk and Susurkaev both getting the job done inside the distance, as well. The prelims were definitely to be celebrated.

When we got to the main card, we were on a nice little adrenaline high, and here comes Tim Elliott taking out Kai Asakura like the stealthy spoiler he is. What are we to do with Kai after this? Carlos Prates put the nicotine beating on Geoff Neal and Lerone Murphy sent the angels out with their bugles for poor Aaron Pico.

And then there was the ugliest main event to ever exist. Was Chimaev dominant? Yes he was. Did he even try to press further for a finish? No he did not. Was Dricus fighting like he was just pulled from the 7-Eleven? Yes he was. Am I excited by the prospect of Khamzat dominating the division? Hell no, but here we are with a stinker of a main event and a new champ that looks like he’s afraid to do a single thing outside his comfortable wheelhouse. Now, let’s check out the rest of the results and bonuses while we’re here.

MMA Vivisection & 6th Round is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

UFC 319 Results

* 185 lbs.: Dricus du Plessis vs. Khamzat Chimaev — Chimaev def. Du Plessis by unanimous decision (50-44, 50-44, 50-44)

* 145 lbs.: Aaron Pico vs. Lerone Murphy — Murphy def. Pico by KO (spinning back elbow), round 1 (3:21)

* 170 lbs.: Geoff Neal vs. Carlos Prates — Prates def. Neal by KO (spinning back elbow), round 1 (4:59)

* 185 lbs.: Jared Cannonier vs. Michael Page — Page def. Cannonier by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 125 lbs.: Tim Elliott vs. Kai Asakura — Elliott def. Asakura by submission (mounted guillotine), round 2 (4:39)

* 185 lbs.: Baisangur Susurkaev vs. Eric Nolan — Susurkaev def. Nolan by submission (rear naked choke), round 2 (2:01)

* 185 lbs.: Gerald Meerschaert vs. Michał Oleksiejczuk — Oleksiejczuk def. Meerschaert by TKO (punches), round 1 (3:03)

* 125 lbs.: Jessica Andrade vs. Lupita Godinez — Godinez def. Andrade by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 155 lbs.: Alexander Hernandez vs. Chase Hooper — Hernandez def. Hooper by TKO (punches), round 1 (4:58)

* 155 lbs.: Edson Barboza vs. Drakkar Klose — Klose def. Barboza by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 125 lbs.: Karine Silva vs. Dione Barbosa — Silva def. Barbosa by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

* 125 lbs.: Alibi Idiris vs. Joseph Morales — Morales def. Idiris by submission (triangle), round 2 (3:04)

UFC 319 Bonuses

* FOTN: None

* POTN: Tim Elliott, Lerone Murphy, Carlos Prates, Khamzat Chimaev

Thank you for reading this article and listening to the podcast. Please consider subscribing to The MMA Vivisection & 6th Round Post-fight Show podcast Substack to enjoy our premium content. Your paid subscriptions are keeping hope alive that we can continue on with our shows. If you haven’t already, please pledge with a paid subscription today. If you have, please share this post far and wide.

Thanks for reading MMA Vivisection & 6th Round! This post is public so feel free to share it.

UFC Vegas 109 had some of the worst judging in recent memory. Ben Cartlidge had fans on social media ready to riot after his judging on two of the cards, but the most egregious of them was definitely Johns vs. Matsumodo. Outside that, we saw Andre Fili stay true to his pattern of alternating wins and losses for the last six years. We also got to see one…