Anger after betrayal can feel intense, confusing, and at times overwhelming. Many women question whether their reactions are “too much” — but what if your anger is not only valid, but an essential part of your healing?

In this episode, I continue to interview Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy… You’re Angry and You Should Be! to unpack the truth about anger through the lens of betrayal trauma.

Together, we explore:

• What anger really is and why it shows up so strongly after betrayal

• The purpose anger serves in protecting us and signaling our pain

• What makes betrayal-related anger different from “typical” anger

• Why suppressing anger often keeps us stuck in trauma responses

• Healthy, grounded ways to move through anger without abandoning yourself

• How to begin processing anger in a way that supports nervous system safety and self-reconnection

This conversation is both validating and liberating. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is something wrong with me for feeling this angry?” — this episode will help you breathe a little easier and see your anger with more clarity and compassion.

Your anger makes sense. It deserves a voice, not shame.

About

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Anger Management Specialist, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She helps individuals and couples heal from the devastating impact that broken trust and broken relational attachment brings including the complex trauma that results from intimate betrayal. She is a highly sought after conference speaker and has private practice in Florida where she also conducts 3-day intensives.

Website

https://crystalhollenbeck.com/

Article referenced in Interview:

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2306940

Book

https://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-Trauma-Anger-Youre-Should/dp/B0FN6P62K8/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wM614LoIEBMWDrdQhOZoFQ.GPKnCN_hCGwnYR2zsBu3BLWQn0Nwd4kGNkZRIzGROYo&qid=1755753925&sr=8-1

SCIP Protocol

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://crystalhollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/SCIP-Protocol-Dr.-Hollenbeck.pdf

Rachel's Bookshelf

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Sign up for my Newsletter

⁠⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY⁠

Anger after betrayal can feel intense, confusing, and at times overwhelming. Many women question whether their reactions are “too much” — but what if your anger is not only valid, but an essential part of your healing?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy… You’re Angry and You Should Be! to unpack the truth about anger through the lens of betrayal trauma.

Together, we explore:
• What anger really is and why it shows up so strongly after betrayal
• The purpose anger serves in protecting us and signaling our pain
• What makes betrayal-related anger different from “typical” anger
• Why suppressing anger often keeps us stuck in trauma responses
• Healthy, grounded ways to move through anger without abandoning yourself
• How to begin processing anger in a way that supports nervous system safety and self-reconnection

This conversation is both validating and liberating. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is something wrong with me for feeling this angry?” — this episode will help you breathe a little easier and see your anger with more clarity and compassion.

Your anger makes sense. It deserves a voice, not shame.

About the Author

Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Anger Management Specialist, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She helps individuals and couples heal from the devastating impact that broken trust and broken relational attachment brings including the complex trauma that results from intimate betrayal. She is a highly sought after conference speaker and has private practice in Florida where she also conducts 3-day intensives.

Website

https://crystalhollenbeck.com/

Article https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2024.2306940

Book

https://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-Trauma-Anger-Youre-Should/dp/B0FN6P62K8/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wM614LoIEBMWDrdQhOZoFQ.GPKnCN_hCGwnYR2zsBu3BLWQn0Nwd4kGNkZRIzGROYo&qid=1755753925&sr=8-1

SCIP Protocol

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://crystalhollenbeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/SCIP-Protocol-Dr.-Hollenbeck.pdf

Rachel's Bookshelf

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Sign up for my Newsletter

⁠⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY⁠

I offer an unscripted dive into a gaslighting experience using Sarah Morales' workbook called "Take Your Power Back." Join me as I use a real life example and explore the mapping system Sarah offers to discern gaslighting behaviors and patterns.

Be sure to check out the workbook which explores the complexities of gaslighting and, as the title suggests, empowers you to step back into your truth.

Pick up your copy here:

⁠https://www.lulu.com/shop/sarah-morales/take-your-power-back/paperback/product-dy6kqdd.html?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAafzxFCsevAkzaUSUgKdWfGAffardpSOOnCe5eTEkX9DX7rzrwm8GhpoE6r95g_aem_Re9zqCw2lDYuGgJJX1Q_Xw&page=1&pageSize=4⁠

Check out all that Sarah has to offer at Sarahmoralescoaching.com

Sarah Morales is the owner and creator of Deconstructing Gaslighting® and is widely recognized as an expert and thought leader on the topic of Gaslighting. She helps raise public awareness on this topic through her many public platforms and creates programs that help empower victims of Gaslighting.

Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy is a groundbreaking educational and training resource that provides programs for every facet of Gaslighting experiences. With programs for the victims of gaslighting, the perpetrators of gaslighting that are in recovery, and helping professionals, Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy aims to be THE source people go to receive the life-changing education and tools they need to heal from the effects of Gaslighting and “Take their power back”.

Sarah currently sits on the board of APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), consults & contracts with numerous helping professionals, and is frequently invited as a guest speaker at national conferences and on podcasts.

Her passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels her work with her clients and pushes her to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible.

Rachel's Bookshelf

⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share⁠⁠

Sign up for my Newsletter

⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Join me in part 2 as I continue interviewing gaslighting expert, Sarah Morales. She has written an amazing workbook called "Take Your Power Back" which explores the complexities of gaslighting and, as the title suggests, empowers you to step back into your truth.

I split the interview up into two parts because we had so much to discuss. You don't want to miss this!

Pick up a copy of the workbook here:

⁠https://www.lulu.com/shop/sarah-morales/take-your-power-back/paperback/product-dy6kqdd.html?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAafzxFCsevAkzaUSUgKdWfGAffardpSOOnCe5eTEkX9DX7rzrwm8GhpoE6r95g_aem_Re9zqCw2lDYuGgJJX1Q_Xw&page=1&pageSize=4⁠

and check out all that Sarah has to offer at Sarahmoralescoaching.com

Sarah Morales is the owner and creator of Deconstructing Gaslighting® and is widely recognized as an expert and thought leader on the topic of Gaslighting. She helps raise public awareness on this topic through her many public platforms and creates programs that help empower victims of Gaslighting.

Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy is a groundbreaking educational and training resource that provides programs for every facet of Gaslighting experiences. With programs for the victims of gaslighting, the perpetrators of gaslighting that are in recovery, and helping professionals, Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy aims to be THE source people go to receive the life-changing education and tools they need to heal from the effects of Gaslighting and “Take their power back”.

Sarah currently sits on the board of APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), consults & contracts with numerous helping professionals, and is frequently invited as a guest speaker at national conferences and on podcasts.

Her passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels her work with her clients and pushes her to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible.

Rachel's Bookshelf

⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share⁠⁠

Sign up for my Newsletter

⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Join me as I interview gaslighting expert, Sarah Morales. She has written an amazing workbook called "Take Your Power Back" which explores the complexities of gaslighting and, as the title suggests, empowers you to step back into your truth.

I split the interview up into two parts because we had so much to discuss. You don't want to miss this!

Pick up a copy of the workbook here:

https://www.lulu.com/shop/sarah-morales/take-your-power-back/paperback/product-dy6kqdd.html?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAafzxFCsevAkzaUSUgKdWfGAffardpSOOnCe5eTEkX9DX7rzrwm8GhpoE6r95g_aem_Re9zqCw2lDYuGgJJX1Q_Xw&page=1&pageSize=4

and check out all that Sarah has to offer at Sarahmoralescoaching.com

Sarah Morales is the owner and creator of Deconstructing Gaslighting® and is widely recognized as an expert and thought leader on the topic of Gaslighting. She helps raise public awareness on this topic through her many public platforms and creates programs that help empower victims of Gaslighting.

Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy is a groundbreaking educational and training resource that provides programs for every facet of Gaslighting experiences. With programs for the victims of gaslighting, the perpetrators of gaslighting that are in recovery, and helping professionals, Deconstructing Gaslighting® Academy aims to be THE source people go to receive the life-changing education and tools they need to heal from the effects of Gaslighting and “Take their power back”.

Sarah currently sits on the board of APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists), consults & contracts with numerous helping professionals, and is frequently invited as a guest speaker at national conferences and on podcasts.

Her passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels her work with her clients and pushes her to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible.

Rachel's Bookshelf

⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share⁠

Sign up for my Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

We are looking at volume 2 of "Not a Casserole Widow" by Kim Hansen Petroni. In this episode, we're talking about reality: what is it and how to accept it. We also explore those inner voices, both positive and negative ones. Then we dive into JADE and BIFF. What are those? You'll have to listen or pick up the workbook to find out! Hope you join me for this exploratory episode.

Check out this book and others featured in this podcast:

⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share⁠

Sign up for my newsletter for weekly tips, resources and support for betrayal trauma:

⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Come explore Kim Hansen Petroni’s workbook Not a Casserole Widow with me. In this conversation, we unpack what forgiveness can really look like—and it may not be what you expect. We also talk about the breaking of trust in intimate relationships, which is the very foundation of betrayal trauma.

Amid the chaos and confusion, there’s also a deeper story of courage and hope—and that’s what we touch on together.

👉 Follow the link below to find this and other books I feature on the podcast (not affiliate links):
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/TQFT9UQXEORQ?ref_=wl_share

Join me this episode as we speak with Kim Hansen Petroni, author of the book, "Not a Casserole Widow." We discuss how the workbook came to be, integral parts of the book, and Kim even shares some of her poetry. You won't want to miss this!

Kim Hansen Petroni holds a Masters in Counseling, is a Board Certified Coach, an APSATS Certified Partner Coach and Supervisor, an ERCEM certified coach, and a Certified Divorce Coach.

Kim supports those experiencing sexual betrayal in their relationship through her company, titled CoachingHope4U.

Kim has an exciting development she shared with me: Not a Casserole Widow was recently approved for non profit status! Kim is embarking on her mission to better train women to get through divorce/mediation and all things surrounding healing through betrayal and divorce.

It certainly was a privilege to have Kim as a guest on today's episode!

You can find out more information about Kim, her workbook and the work she is doing here: https://www.coachinghope4u.com/

Follow me, Rachel Strong Smith, on IG and FB for more support and guidance through betrayal trauma:

https://www.instagram.com/rachelstrongsmith/

https://www.facebook.com/risestrongrecovery