When Chantelle was sent to the cult Headquarters as an “encouragement case,” she encountered Bill Gothard’s inappropriate and abusive behavior toward teenage girls firsthand. She shares what it was like to grow up in IBLP and ATI, survive both Headquarters and the cult’s finishing school for young ladies, and ultimately marry young to escape her father’s “umbrella of authority.” Today, Chantelle uses her story and training in hypnotherapy to educate others and bring healing to those manipulated by shame, guilt, and fear. She also offers practical ideas and resources for people who want to pursue healing but face financial constraints.

Connect with Chantelle:

www.chantellen.com

Resources Chantelle Recommends:

The Tapping Solution App

www.ifsbuddy.chat

Books Chantelle Recommends:

Feeding Your Demons by Tsultrim Allione

Self-Therapy (3rd Edition) by Jay Earley, PhD

The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer

Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication.

Support the show

In the second half of our conversation with poet Jessica Jocelyn, we pick up where the shocking story of her mom left off. Jessica shares how poetry became a way to make sense of loss, love, and the wounds only a mother can leave behind. Together, Amanda and Jessica talk about healing mother wounds, the fear of becoming like the women who hurt them, and the complicated feelings that surface as we begin to look more and more like our mothers with age.

Connect with Jessica:
linktr.ee/jessicajocelyn
Instagram: @letters.to.anna
Facebook: Jessica Jocelyn Poetry
TikTok: @jessica.jocelyn

Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication.

Support the show

In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, we’re honored to welcome poet Jessica Jocelyn—whose writing has been a healing touchstone for Amanda and may already be familiar to listeners of the podcast.

Jessica is a best-selling poet whose work explores love, loss, motherhood, and the complexities of family with raw emotional power. She’s the author of five volumes of poetry, all widely praised for their vulnerability, resonance, and reach.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Jessica’s childhood with a mother who felt more like a cult leader
• Her experience as an adult convert in the Jehovah’s Witnesses—what led her there, and how she found her way out
• Her forthcoming poetry collection, Paper Flowers, releasing August 31, 2025

This is the first time Jessica has shared her full story on record—and it’s a wild, heartbreaking, and healing ride.

We can’t wait for you to hear it.

Connect with Jessica:
linktr.ee/jessicajocelyn
Instagram: @letters.to.anna
Facebook: Jessica Jocelyn Poetry
TikTok: @jessica.jocelyn

Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication.

Support the show

Amanda has gotten a lot of questions about whether she would ever let anyone from her biological family back into her life.

For a long time, the answer was no. But then something changed.

It’s been a year and a half, and we've waited a long time to talk about it. This is the first time we're sharing the story.

Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication.

Support the show

Amanda reads from her childhood diaries—yes, actual entries from her cult years—and then melts through the floor in embarrassment. It’s awkward, vulnerable, and a surprisingly raw window into growing up homeschooled under fundamentalism.

Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication.

Support the show

Amanda opens this episode with some never-before-shared stories from her early experiences in therapy—including one that caught even Kyle off guard. From there, the mic turns, and Kyle shares what it was like to hear Amanda’s story for the first time and slowly step into the world of advocacy and trauma-informed care. What begins as reflection becomes something quietly transformative—revealing just how much learning and love can grow side by side.

Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication.

Support the show

In a deeply personal episode, Amanda opens up about the circumstances that led to the end of her relationship with her adoptive parents. What started as a long-building tension came to a head when Amanda asked to be treated like a real daughter—and was told no. She and Kyle walk through the factors that shaped the outcome, what was said, how it unfolded, and what it means to grieve the loss of a family you thought chose you.

Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication.

Support the show

Content warning: This episode includes discussion of sexual violence, including against children.

When Amanda set boundaries with her bio family—and the brother who abused her—she expected it to be hard. But not like this. In this highly personal episode, she shares a glimpse into the painful correspondence with her three younger brothers and their disturbing responses: manipulation, gaslighting, and spiritual abuse. They questioned her story, weaponized religion, and even tried to enlist her ex-husband—claiming he was “God’s authority” over her life—to force her back into the family’s narrative about the abuse.

This episode explores what happens when family chooses power over love. Kyle joins to unpack the emotional and spiritual toll of being betrayed by those you once protected, what it means to forgive, and what it looks like to walk away when the cost of staying is your truth.

Send us text! Please note this platform only supports one-way communication.

Support the show