Why do leaders jump so quickly to giving advice? And why does it so often backfire? In this episode, Michael Bungay Stanier explains why the “advice monster” is one of our biggest leadership liabilities—and how seven simple questions can help you listen better, coach smarter, and build stronger connections. Filled with humor, story, empathy, and practical scripts, this episode is a masterclass in everyday leadership.

Memorable Quotes

1. “When you ask a question and they actually have to think about it, you're literally creating new neural pathways in their brain—or at least they're creating their own neural pathways—so they're literally becoming smarter right in front of you.”
2. “More deeply than an ‘answer,’ much of the time people want to feel deeply heard, deeply seen, and deeply encouraged. And your ‘answer’ often means they feel less seen, less heard, and less encouraged.”
3. “One of the great moments of claiming adulthood is being clear on what you want to say ‘yes’ to—and knowing that inevitably you have to say ‘no’ to things to get that.”
4. “Every time you jump in with your ideas and your opinions and your advice—particularly if it's your default reaction—you’re basically reinforcing, ‘I'm better than you are. I'm smarter and wiser and older and faster and just generally better than you. You are not as good as I am.’ There’s a degree to which you're diminishing that other person rather than helping them.”
5. “There's a time and a place where [giving advice] is the right thing to be doing. The way I define coaching is: Can you stay curious a little bit longer? Can you rush to action and advice-giving a little bit more slowly?”
6. “One of the phrases I've started saying to people who are going through a tough time is simply, ‘I'm Team Michael. I'm Team Megan.…I'm Team whoever that person might be.’ It’s my way of saying, ‘I love you and I want the best for you, and I don't even know what to do—or I can’t think of anything to do—so I'm just trying to be with you in this moment.’”
7. “One of the questions that I’ve found most helpful—particularly if I'm the more senior person in the relationship—is: ‘What needs to be said that hasn't yet been said?’”

Key Takeaways

1. The “Advice Monster” Is Real. Our instinct to help by offering answers often diminishes others. Curiosity, not certainty, is what truly empowers people.
2. Questions Create Ownership. When people generate their own ideas, they’re more confident, more committed, and more capable.
3. Seven Questions Change Everything. Michael’s practical framework gives you a simple playbook for better conversations. His personal favorite? “And what else?”
4. Curiosity Deepens Every Relationship. Parents, partners, bosses—everyone benefits when you resist the urge to fix and choose to listen instead.
5. Better Conversations Start With Permission. Rather than assume what someone needs, lead with humility and ask: How can I be most useful here?
6. Coaching Is for Everyday Life. You don’t have to be a professional coach for this to matter. These tools transform team meetings, parenting moments, and even difficult conversations at home.

Resources

• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier
• The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier
• How to Work With (Almost) Anyone by Michael Bungay Stanier
• Box of Crayons (Curiosity-driven leadership program)

Watch on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/WOjq8aMbr5k

This episode was produced by Sarah Vorhees Wendel of VW Sound

Why do some ideas spark movements while others fizzle? Joel—author of The Idea Machine, veteran publisher, and Chief Content Officer at Full Focus—explains how books transform vague thoughts into precise, shareable frameworks. You’ll hear the case for analog reading, how writing unlocks buy-in at work, and why AI and books actually belong together. Practical, contrarian, and deeply encouraging for any high achiever who wants clearer thinking and better communication.

Memorable Quotes

1. “Ideas that start in the mind of an author as just kind of a gooey, fuzzy idea. And in the course of writing, it forces them to get clear on it. It forces them to get specific about it and develop it in a way that actually becomes useful.”
2. “Not only can these ideas live in a way that we can understand them, but they can live through time. And that's one of the greatest things about a book—that it perpetuates ideas across time.”
3. “It forces you to get clear. It forces you to develop an argument. It forces you to develop a line of thought that other people can follow. And without that, you're kind of left with a grab bag of ideas that are probably cool. They're great, but they're not in a system that can be used or explained or anything like that.”
4. “I think this is true for leaders. They have a lot of personal charisma and people want to follow them, but that's not enough. You really do have to go to the discipline of getting these ideas clear for yourself so that they can be clear to other people.”
5. “Part of what we've done is we've just de-skilled ourselves in reading and we just need to re-skill ourselves in reading.”
6. “Never read a book 'cause you're supposed to. Read books because they delight. You read books because they're entertaining to you. Read books because you get something out of it that you really like.”

Key Takeaways

1. Books Are Tech. Treat books as an information technology that lets ideas scale with precision and longevity.
2. Writing Creates Clarity. If you want buy-in, don’t rely on vibes—write the memo. Make your idea explicit and specific.
3. Right Format, Right Job. Use audio/ebook for breadth and speed. Reach for print when you need depth, notes, and recall.
4. AI Is a Companion. From library science to today’s models, AI extends the book’s mission—use it to augment (not replace) critical thinking.
5. Build a Daily Reading Habit. Aim for 30–60 minutes a day (top and bottom of day works). Follow your curiosity. Quit the books that don’t serve you.

Resources

• The Idea Machine by Joel J. Miller
• Miller’s Book Review (Joel’s Substack)

Watch on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/e36acyYWBnM

This episode was produced by Sarah Vorhees Wendel of VW Sound

Why do so many high achievers secretly struggle with anxiety, burnout, and overwhelm? Dr. Elizabeth Stanley, Army veteran, Georgetown professor, and author of Widen the Window, joins Michael Hyatt to explain the hidden science behind stress and resilience. Drawing on her personal story of trauma, her background in the military, and her training in somatic therapy, Elizabeth reveals why talk therapy alone often falls short—and how body-based practices can change everything. This conversation is honest, practical, and deeply hopeful for anyone who feels stuck in patterns of stress.

Memorable Quotes

1. “We're all in it together and we're all experiencing the particular lawful ways that this human mind and body works in this particular poly-crisis world. Of course, people are struggling. It's kind of why it's my passion to help people understand ‘You're not alone in this.’”
2. “We are wired organically to be able to mobilize the energy to manage a crisis or a stressful situation, and then recover. Our ancestors that shared the same wiring that we have did not have 24/7 constant activation and constant demands the way that we do in modern life today.”
3. “The science term there is allostatic load, and the more our stress load grows, the less capacity we have in our mind and body to meet the next challenge, so that it becomes a bit of a vicious cycle, and we know that we're on the edge of our window or outside of our window of tolerance.”
4. “We are built so that we learn the downregulation through the soothing we receive from our parents and other early caregivers. And that presumes that our early caregivers and parents were regulated enough to do that for us.”
5. “If we're redirecting it somewhere that the survival brain perceives as safe, that actually starts conditioning. A process that makes the system move back in the way that we're organically built, which is to go through stress and recover naturally.”
6. “When we don't perceive agency, when we feel powerless or helpless, that actually leads to higher levels of arousal and it really resolidifies the prior conditioning. So being able to access that choice point is really critical in beginning to shift it.”
7. “If our parents had narrowed windows, if they were coping with a lot of stress and trauma, or if they were absent, if they had mental illness or they were incarcerated, they aren't able to help us wire those things. It's one of the ways that narrowed windows get transmitted intergenerationally and why trauma can become intergenerational.”

Key Takeaways

1. You’re Not Broken. Chronic anxiety and overwhelm are signs of dysregulation, not defects. They’re the evidence of what you’ve walked through—but don’t determine what’s ahead.
2. Your Body Knows the Way. Healing starts by listening to the signals of your nervous system. The key is not to minimize our reactions, but to listen and practice strategies that help us return to baseline.
3. Talk Therapy Isn’t Enough. True healing requires engaging the body and nervous system. Trauma-informed, body-based therapy can lead to breakthroughs when just thinking and talking isn’t enough.
4. Agency Is Key. Learning to notice choice points rewires the brain toward safety. The quickest way out of powerlessness is regaining a sense of agency.
5. Resilience Can Be Trained. Simple, repeated practices expand your “window of tolerance.” It takes time and intention, but you can widen your window.

Resources

• Widen the Window by Elizabeth Stanley
• Elizabeth Stanley’s Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training (MMFT)

Watch on Youtube at: https://youtu.be/Z607BPgbxi4

This episode was produced by Sarah Vorhees Wendel of VW Sound