
The Earth Moved Under My Feet: Broken, Afraid, but Willing
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On Friday my stress level peaked, but I’m happy to report I got back up. I had woken up carrying the weight of buying/selling houses, chronic pain, and the devastating news of a loved one’s illness. By the time I sat down to lead in an AA meeting that evening, my emotions detonated. I cried as I spoke about my sobriety, my stroke, my vestibular struggles, and my fear. In that vulnerable moment, words came out of my mouth that I hadn’t spoken with such conviction before, “I can’t do this without AA and without God.”. It was like the ground shifted under me as proof that faith and my sobriety program are the very foundation holding me upright.
In that breaking point I proved to myself once again that showing up exactly as I am, broken, afraid, but willing, is all that’s necessary to take a step forward. Life has not slowed down since Friday, and there are still deadlines, stress, and fear. But I know now that even if it feels like walking through quicksand, I eventually come out the other side.
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