Grief has its own timeline. And sometimes, the most profound revelations about loss emerge from unexpected places—like a flooded basement.

When contractors tore out the flooring and walls of what had been my late father's living space, I experienced a surprising wave of emotion. Though he had passed nearly five years earlier, that basement remained "Dad's room" in our family's daily conversations. The physical dismantling of this space triggered a grief experience that felt both familiar and entirely new.

What struck me most was how differently my body and mind processed this grief compared to five years ago. My nervous system felt safer, more capable of holding both the sadness of loss and the possibility of renewal. This wasn't because my earlier grief was somehow wrong—rather, it demonstrated how our emotional processing evolves over time, despite society's problematic expectations that we should "get over" significant losses within arbitrary timeframes.

The flood created an unexpected opportunity to honor what was while embracing what could be. As I found myself spontaneously researching new flooring options and imagining the space transformed for our teenage son, I recognized this dual experience as a meaningful part of my healing journey. This mirrors my relationship with depression—both involve nonlinear paths where compassion for wherever I am in the process proves essential.

Whether you're navigating grief, depression, or any significant emotional challenge, remember that healing happens in its own perfect, imperfect time. I invite you to take just one step today—any size, any direction—knowing that movement toward greater joy and connection is possible for everyone, including you, even when depression is in your bed.

- If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

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