In today’s episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, discover how anxiety can silently sabotage your marriage and the small daily habits that can set you free. Brandon opens up about his years of crippling anxiety and the coping mechanisms that masked the problem: endless scrolling, gaming, and withdrawing from family life. A breaking point came with a 40-day fast and a panic attack that forced him to face the truth. Caitlyn brings a powerful perspective on why so many couples lack the emotional vocabulary to navigate these struggles, and how that gap fuels disconnection. Together, they share practical strategies, from naming emotions to practicing embodied exercises like breathwork and cold showers, that create space for real intimacy. If stress and avoidance are stealing joy from your marriage, this conversation offers both validation and a roadmap toward lasting peace.

Our 2025 Grounded Union workshop & intensive:
🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)
Maui Intensive: Tap here to apply

Looking for immediate support in your marriage?
Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trial

Workshops for Couples: Join the waitlist to get notified
Grounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program

Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksen
Check out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcast
YouTube Show available here

Timestamps & Key Moments:

• 00:00:29 – Introduction: Brandon and Caitlyn frame anxiety as a hidden barrier to emotional safety in marriage.
• 00:01:54 – The Gut–Emotion Connection: Brandon explains how unresolved emotions often show up as digestive issues and physical stress.
• 00:02:34 – Video Games as Escape: He admits that gaming and scrolling became his way to numb out and regulate emotions.
• 00:03:51 – The Waterfall Analogy: Brandon shares a mentor’s picture of how entertainment only pauses anxiety but never resolves it.
• 00:04:47 – Rest vs. Entertainment: Caitlyn challenges the idea that zoning out with screens equals rest, calling it avoidance.
• 00:07:01 – Running from Emotions: She explains how people chase addictions to avoid the emotions they don’t want to face.
• 00:09:21 – The Real Struggle in Marriage: Brandon reflects on how marriage and kids amplified his anxiety by removing alone time.
• 00:13:00 – Panic at the Airport: He recounts collapsing in Portland Airport under stress, marking a breaking point.
• 00:14:07 – Emotional Illiteracy in Childhood: Caitlyn highlights how many weren’t taught to name or process emotions growing up.
• 00:19:02 – A Turning Point: Brandon introduces “deliberate practice in a controlled environment” as a key to healing.
• 00:20:00 – Emotional Response Training: He describes his daily practices—cold showers, breathwork, and miming—that reshaped responses.
• 00:23:00 – From Anxiety to Rest: Through embodiment routines, Brandon learned to find calm and see Caitlyn’s strength as support.
• 00:28:03 – Simplicity of Healing: They close by showing how simple practices and rewired beliefs unlock peace and freedom.

This week on The Grounded Union Podcast, hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen expose the myth that dates are the key to a healthy marriage. Through their own story, they reveal that while they went on many dates during the most tumultuous years of their marriage, their deepest connection was forged in the last five years, a period with very few dates. The episode offers a new perspective on what it means to be truly connected, emphasizing that intentionality in everyday moments is far more powerful than a weekly dinner out. Brandon and Caitlyn provide actionable advice, such as confronting hidden secrets and eliminating distractions like screens, to rebuild a relationship from the ground up. They also highlight the power of nature and physical touch to restore peace and intimacy. Tune in to learn how to create a marriage where every day is enjoyable and peace is the norm.

Our 2025 Grounded Union workshop & intensive:
🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)
Maui Intensive: Tap here to apply

Looking for immediate support in your marriage?
Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trial

Workshops for Couples: Join the waitlist to get notified
Grounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program

Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksen
Check out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcast
YouTube Show available here

Timestamps & Key Moments:

• 00:00:28 – Introduction: Brandon opens with a vision for what most couples long for—true peace and connection—and sets the stage for why that often feels out of reach.
• 00:02:32 – The Date Night Myth: The hosts challenge the belief that prioritizing frequent date nights is the key to a strong marriage, sharing how their most tumultuous years were filled with them.
• 00:05:07 – Date Night ≠ Connection: A comparison emerges between date nights and “punching your church card”—they're not inherently bad, but they don't guarantee real relational growth or peace on their own.
• 00:08:34 – Dates as a Cherry on Top: Caitlyn reframes their perspective, explaining how they experience daily "dates" through intentional everyday moments rather than scheduled romantic outings, with the date being the cherry on top of an existing connection.
• 00:12:09 – The Magnet Analogy: The powerful analogy of magnets explaining how hidden secrets and unresolved issues act as a repellent force, preventing genuine intimacy and connection.
• 00:17:26 – The Power of Nature for Connection: Discussion turns to how outdoor time naturally regulates emotions and fosters connection, contrasting sharply with life in "insulated boxes.”
• 00:18:09 – Screen Detox: The transformative impact of removing screens from daily life gets revealed, offering listeners a powerful strategy for bridging relationship gaps.
• 00:22:31 – What to Talk About: Brandon and Caitlyn offer practical advice on how to fill your screen-free time, suggesting conversations about your day, parenting, and addressing past sexual brokenness.
• 00:23:59 – Their Nightly Connection Ritual: A glimpse into their evening routine featuring candlelit couch time in a screen-free environment designed to nurture both physical and emotional intimacy.
• 00:30:30 - Shared Intentions and Future Plans: The conversation concludes with insights on discussing shared goals, beliefs, and future aspirations as foundation stones for stronger partnership bonds.

In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into why addiction relapse is so devastatingly common and how couples can break free from this destructive cycle forever. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen share their raw journey through five years of repeated relapse before discovering the root-level healing that changed everything. They reveal why surface-level solutions fail and introduce their "roots and rewiring" approach - examining childhood trauma, spiritual beliefs, and life paradigms that keep people trapped. The hosts emphasize getting to the core wounds rather than just managing symptoms, challenging listeners to treat addiction recovery not as minor adjustments but as a complete life transformation. Most provocatively, they advocate for total transparency between spouses - sharing every secret, memory, and struggle without exception. Their message: true freedom isn't about willpower or accountability groups, but about digging deep into your story, rewiring your thoughts, and creating the life you actually want to live rather than one you need to escape from.

Our 2025 Grounded Union workshop & intensive:
🏝️Maui, Hawaii – 3-Day Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included! (October 10th-13th)
Maui Intensive: Tap here to apply

Looking for immediate support in your marriage?
Community for Men: Tap here to start your 14-day FREE trial

Workshops for Couples: Join the waitlist to get notified
Grounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program

Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyn_doerksen
Check out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcast
YouTube Show available here

Timestamps & Key Moments:

• 00:00:28 – Why We’re Talking About Relapse: Brandon introduces the episode’s focus on why relapse to addiction is so common, sharing their personal five-year journey through relapse and the importance of healing at the root level.
• 00:01:50 – Relapse Cycle and Surface-Level Healing: The historical pattern of getting caught, crying, apologizing, seeking help, and repeated relapse over months to years
• 00:04:13 – The Need for Root System Work: Caitlyn discusses their realization that staying on the surface level with addiction was not working and that they needed to "dig way deeper" to get to the root of the issue.
• 00:07:15 – First Root Category - Childhood Exploration: Why deep, sustainable change comes from exploring past wounds and patterns with curiosity instead of shame.
• 00:14:55 – Tracing Addiction Back to Childhood Origins: The importance of identifying when and how addictive behaviors first appeared in childhood, and many addictions—whether porn, alcohol, food, or work—are intertwined and rooted in early experiences.
• 00:17:06 – Second Root Category - Spirituality: How spiritual beliefs—especially from Christian upbringings—can create paradigms that normalize or even excuse relapse.
• 00:19:32 – Third Root Category - Personal Paradigms: Assessing your beliefs about yourself, your marriage, and your ability to achieve freedom from addiction.
• 00:22:58 – Living Free from Relapse: What it looks like to live a life free from relapse, based on their own last five years of sobriety.
• 00:26:34 – The 30-Day Rewiring Process: Brandon details the exact steps he took over 30 days that rewired his brain and eliminated his compulsions.
• 00:32:49 – The 4R's Technique: Brandon introduces their practical rewiring tool - Recognize the thought, Receive peace in your body, Release the old pattern, Replace with new behavior.
• 00:34:53 – The One Thing Nobody Told Us: Sharing absolutely everything - every memory, thought, current struggle, and past experience without exception.