What actually allows us to feel safe in relationships? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Aubrey Aust, a Master’s student at NYU researching relational safety, who explores themes of attachment styles, somatics, and kink to examine the systems and sensations that shape how we connect with others.

We talk about how BDSM dynamics bring power, vulnerability, and consent to the surface in ways that most relationships suppress. Aubrey shares why kink can serve as a relational laboratory, how cultural scripts influence our nervous systems, and what it means to move through the world with curiosity and care. We also dive into shadow work, language around needs, and how we unlearn what no longer protects us.

Whether you're navigating kink, reflecting on past patterns, or rethinking how you build safety with others, this conversation is a powerful starting point. You’ll walk away with deeper insight into your own relational wiring and why safety is about more than just feeling comfortable.

Episode Highlights:

02:40 Power Dynamics in Relationships

06:32 Attachment Styles and Safety

11:58 Language and Communication in Relationships

15:26 Somatic Psychology and Healing

18:07 Exploring EMDR Therapy

22:12 Unlearning and Healing

Connect with Aubrey

http://www.aubreyaust.com/

https://instagram.com/aubrey__aust

https://www.linkedin.com/in/aubrey-aust-8b7744174/

Connect with Me:

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Join The Kinky Book Club:

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Ever wondered what it’s like to be the face and body on the cover of your favorite romance novel? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with real-life couple Jose and Andrea (aka Mama) to talk about what it’s like to build a modeling career out of smut, how kink became part of their dynamic, and the power of being seen, desired, and fully expressed.

We dive into how Mama helped launch Jose’s modeling and acting career, what it means to embody fantasy for an audience while staying grounded in real-life connection, and how kink helped deepen their intimacy after decades together. From daddy/little dynamics to caretaking, long-distance journaling, and the gift of growing older while still exploring, this conversation is equal parts sexy, sweet, and deeply affirming.

Whether you’ve ever dreamed of being on a book cover, or you’re just curious what it’s like behind the scenes of a real-life smut model relationship, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights:

01:01 From Childhood Friends to Lifelong Partners

05:53 Transitioning from Military to Modeling

12:02 Exploring Romance Novels Together

14:31 Opening Up About Desires

21:59 Navigating Book Conventions

32:35 Balancing Personal and Couple Growth

36:10 Jose's Journey into Acting

39:45 Advice for Aspiring Cover Models

Connect with Me:

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Join The Kinky Book Club:

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when a professional dom and pleasure coach sits down to unpack the psychology of kink, power, and pleasure?

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by the brilliant Sir Marvelous, a pro dom, educator, and content creator who's on a mission to make BDSM more accessible, intentional, and deeply satisfying. From his early journey with sex toys to his current work guiding individuals and couples through personalized kinky experiences, this conversation is full of both fire and insight.

We talk about everything from the difference between dominance and leadership, to the importance of safe, ongoing negotiation in kink sessions. Sir Marvelous shares his thoughts on why BDSM isn’t just about play. It’s about learning, evolving, and closing the pleasure gap through communication. We dive into topics like edging, mind play, denial, why submission doesn’t mean weakness, and how even a simple sex toy changed the trajectory of his life (shoutout to that random man outside the NYC sex shop!). He also opens up about his teaching philosophy, the role of ego in intimacy, and the importance of making space for joy, curiosity, and mutual exploration.

If you’ve ever been curious about what it’s like to hire a pro dom, how to introduce kink to your relationship, or why pleasure is something worth investing in, this episode is packed with truth bombs and transformative takeaways. Tune in and discover how BDSM can be a path to connection—not just in the bedroom, but in life.

Episode Highlights:

01:27 Understanding Pro Dom and Pleasure Coach

10:17 The Importance of Continuous Learning in Kink

17:20 Empowering Women Through Sexual Liberation

19:39 Shifting Preferences in Adult Content

25:32 Discovering Kink

31:06 The Importance of Communication in BDSM

Connect with Sir Marvelous

https://www.sirmarvelous.com/

Connect with Me:

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.