What if your morning iced coffee, non-stop productivity, or daily scroll sessions were less about comfort and more about quiet compulsion? In this thought-provoking episode, Kristen and Scott Boss dive into the sneaky world of socially acceptable addictions—the habits we justify, celebrate, and even admire… but may be slowly sabotaging us.

They unpack how culture often applauds behaviors like workaholism, exercise obsession, caffeine dependence, people-pleasing, and overcommitting—all while ignoring their deeper roots in stress, avoidance, and unmet emotional needs.

This episode isn’t about shame—it’s about self-awareness. Tune in for practical questions to reflect on your own habits, real talk about coping vs. thriving, and gentle reframes to help you build a life that nourishes rather than numbs.

What You'll Learn:

• How to tell the difference between nourishing routines and numbing rituals
• The concept of emotional sobriety and how to practice it
• Why the “dose makes the poison” in socially praised behaviors
• How to shift from compulsive habits to identity-based choices
• The importance of pausing and getting curious without judgment

Your Happywell Homework:

Pick one “harmless” habit this week. Pause it for a day or two. Notice what comes up. Reflect with curiosity, not criticism.

Links & Mentions:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• Addiction and Grace by Gerald May
• Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke

Loved the episode? Tag us on social (@pursuitofhappywell)and share your favorite aha moment!

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Take the Free Quiz:

Discover your unique stress response and how it may be holding you back here: sonderalife.com/podquiz

• 0:00 – Intro: Is your iced coffee a quiet compulsion?
• 1:55 – Exploring stress types and why we seek comfort
• 5:16 – What makes an addiction "socially acceptable"?
• 8:09 – Workaholism: Hustle culture disguised as dedication
• 10:04 – Exercise obsession: Discipline or dopamine?
• 11:17 – Caffeine dependence: When stimulation masks exhaustion
• 13:32 – Doomscrolling & digital compulsions
• 14:58 – People-pleasing and the addiction to approval
• 15:15 – Overcommitting: Running from stillness
• 18:44 – The emotional cost of avoidant habits
• 21:25 – Emotional sobriety: Feeling without fleeing
• 22:41 – The dopamine loop: Why quick fixes leave us empty
• 24:56 – Self-justification and the “moral license” fallacy
• 28:24 – Burnout, dissociation, and long-term impact
• 31:16 – 5 questions to reflect on your habits
• 35:33 – Reaction-based vs. identity-based habits
• 39:00 – The power of pausing and self-awareness
• 41:52 – Happywell Homework: A gentle curiosity practice
• 45:00 – You are allowed to change your rhythm

We also have an active community for listeners of The Pursuit of Happywell. Join our community on facebook: The Pursuit of Happywell Community or find the website at

Episode Summary:

What if it’s not failure you’re afraid of—but success? In this deep-dive episode, Scott and Kristen unpack one of the most overlooked mindset blocks: the fear of success. Whether it’s the pressure to maintain, fear of visibility, or anxiety around losing relationships, success can stir up just as much fear as failure—and sometimes more.

Drawing from personal stories, coaching experiences, and the latest psychology research (including insights from the Harvard Grant Study), Scott and Kristen break down the subconscious behaviors that show up when success feels unsafe. Think procrastination, underdelivering, quitting early, or constantly shifting goals. Sound familiar?

You’ll learn:

• The three hidden fears behind fear of success
• How to recognize if you’re self-sabotaging
• Why your stress response matters—and what to do about it
• Tools to create internal safety and finish what you start

Plus, get a peek into Kristen’s emotional journey from hairstylist to online educator—and the identity shifts that came with it.

Take the Free Quiz:

Discover your unique stress response and how it may be holding you back here: sonderalife.com/podquiz

Timestamps:

0:00 - What if everything you’ve been told about happiness is wrong?

1:42 - Introducing the fear of success

4:26 - Why success can feel destabilizing

8:47 - Loss aversion and identity shifts

13:35 - Three hidden fears behind fear of success

18:33 - Subconscious behaviors and stress responses

27:20 - Under-delivering to protect your ego

32:31 - Signs you might fear finishing

39:36 - Happywell Homework: How to move forward

We also have an active community for listeners of The Pursuit of Happywell. Join our community on facebook: The Pursuit of Happywell Community or find the website at LiveHappywell.com

Do you break out in hives at the thought of setting a boundary? You’re not alone—and this week’s episode of The Pursuit of Happywell is a must-listen. Scott and Kristen dive deep into the emotional minefield of boundary-setting and reframe it as an act of kindness, connection, and self-respect—not cruelty.

Building on last week’s episode on conflict resolution, this conversation explores:

• Why so many people fear setting boundaries
• How people-pleasing, identity, and fear of rejection keep us stuck
• The difference between reactive boundaries vs. compassionate clarity
• Real-life examples in marriage, parenting, work, and friendships
• How to communicate boundaries without controlling or withdrawing
• The pivotal role of self-boundaries in preventing burnout and building trust

With personal stories, powerful analogies (like dogs testing invisible fences), and practical takeaways, this episode is both soul-nourishing and eye-opening. If you're ready to stop abandoning yourself for the sake of “keeping the peace,” this one’s for you.

• Boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re gates with keys you offer out of love and clarity.
• A healthy boundary is one that helps you stay your most whole, functional self.
• You can’t set boundaries with others if you constantly violate your own.
• Healthy people respect your boundaries; people who benefited from your lack of them will test them.
• Boundaries evolve with seasons—evaluate and adjust with intention, not guilt.

If this episode resonated with you, don’t keep it to yourself! Share it with a friend, leave a review, and hit that subscribe button. Have a boundary breakthrough? Comment on YouTube or tag @thehappywell on social media and tell us about it.

And take the free Stress Type Quiz to discover your go-to stress response and learn how to manage it better. sonderalife.com/podquiz

We also have an active community for listeners of The Pursuit of Happywell. Join our community on facebook: The Pursuit of Happywell Community or find the website at LiveHappywell.com

• 00:00 – Intro: Why boundaries feel so hard
• 02:00 – What a boundary really is (not a wall!)
• 05:30 – People-pleasing and fear of being unloved
• 08:30 – The identity crisis that comes with becoming a boundaried person
• 11:00 – Healthy vs. reactive boundaries
• 14:00 – How we sabotage our own boundaries
• 18:00 – Compassionate clarity: the new lens for setting limits
• 27:00 – Real-life scenarios: family, work, marriage, kids
• 45:00 – Boundaries with yourself: the game-changer
• 50:00 – Happywell Homework: Your boundary reset

Hosted by Kristen and Scott Boss, founders of The Happywell Podcast, this power duo brings both personal insight and practical wisdom to the table, blending emotional health, neuroscience, and relational wellness for a more grounded life.