Ever felt like a total jackass—frustrated with yourself, misunderstood, maybe even yelling at your own thoughts? In this episode, we dive into the raw and absurdly honest Angel Approach “Jackassery” memos—a surreal journey featuring talking donkeys, mercenaries, and even a brain that argues back.

What begins as a wandering rider’s rant turns into a profound exploration of why we blame, resist, and self-sabotage—and how those very flaws might be the doorway to transformation. Along the way, we uncover blockers that keep us from loving like Christ, wrestle with the ugly truths we avoid, and discover why our messy brokenness may actually be the key to redemption.

Part whimsical fable, part spiritual deep dive, this conversation will leave you laughing, unsettled, and—just maybe—seeing your own “jackassery” as the surprising place where God meets you.

Across the memos, the narrator identifies twelve key “blockers” that prevent Christ-like love:

1. Self-reliance and blame – Deflecting responsibility onto the donkey, others, or even God .
2. Blindness to self-deception – Our broken minds actively lie to us, leading us in circles .
3. Idolatry of self-preservation – Prioritizing safety above God’s call, turning survival into an idol .
4. Lack of empathy for internal struggles – Failure to show compassion toward our own inner brokenness .
5. Self-perceived incompetence – Believing oneself too flawed or inadequate to lead or love .
6. Misplaced value – Overvaluing intellect, strategy, or strength above heart and compassion .
7. Fear of the ugly truth – Avoiding hard realities out of cynicism or fear of discomfort .
8. Mistrust of the divine process – Holding back from surrender because we fear God’s path .
9. Holding back our hearts – Believing love means protecting the heart, instead of giving it away .
10. Fear of seeing God and ourselves – Hiding from exposure, judgment, and divine truth .
11. Resentment and self-pity – Even in grace, clinging to “why me?” or “it should’ve been easier” .
12. Narrow view of mission – Expecting only one form of reward or role, missing the wider calling .

What if the journey to real leadership didn’t begin with strength—but with collapse?

In this episode, we trace the Giddy Path, a startlingly raw story of fear, death, surrender, and resurrection into Christlike authority. From hiding in a basement, to becoming a worm feeding only on Jesus, to leading an army through weakness and song, this is no ordinary leadership playbook. It’s a blueprint for transformation—loosely paralleling the story of Gideon — where victory comes not by power, but by love.

Explore a profound psychological journey from a state of numbness and defensive detachment, seeking control and predictability through intellectual pursuits within a metaphorical castle of wizardry, where the protagonist believes magic is the "foundation of the universe". This controlled world is shattered by the appearance of a dragon, revealing his established defenses and magic to be utterly useless, leaving him exposed and stunned. Told he is "born to be a knight, not a mage," his path shifts, culminating in the shocking truth that the princess needing rescue is the dragon. The heart of this transformation is the courageous embracing of vulnerability: admitting his need and asking for guidance, surrendering intellectual control and submitting to the stranger's will despite the paradoxical plan, consciously choosing physical exposure in the final battle, and enduring agonizing cold and physical peril. This act of vulnerability is the necessary process to break down his internal defenses, resulting in a state of integrated wholeness, no longer numb and now open to genuine connection.

The UNGIVER Saga

Journey into a world of familial betrayal and ancient curses born from past sins. Two brothers, divided by a forgotten crime and bound by a magical vow, reunite with their father, returned from presumed death, to confront their mad mother and the vengeful grandmother who controls her. A quest guided by a mysterious hermit leads them towards a necessary offering. But generational pain demands a sacrifice. Discover if confession, self-sacrifice, and divine intervention can break the spell and restore a broken bloodline.

Are you facing the challenge of healing deep trauma so you can love more deeply and help others do the same? This episode delves into a powerful metaphorical journey chronicled over twelve days, following a "Conqueror" narrative guided by an intimate connection with Jesus.

The journey begins with the narrator feeling empowered and equipped by Jesus to confront "warlike, savage" islands representing brokenness and conflict. This initial appointment sets the stage for a radical transformation. The narrator evolves, becoming a tsunami disrupting false securities, a flood purifying the land and toppling idols, and an inflated cloud pregnant with healing rain released through Jesus's word.

As the narrative unfolds, the process of healing involves releasing judgment and embracing compassion, mirroring the broken heart of Jesus.

The narrator dissolves into disembodied eyes, interceding into the deepest pain where God seems absent. A crucial turning point involves confronting personal fears and the "dark mirror" of one's own sins, understanding betrayal, and embracing darkness.

The journey continues with a radical destruction of the old self in the "wounded hands of Jesus," leading to a reformation where the narrator and others are intentionally fashioned from "mud". Through intense crushing and refining, symbolized by becoming a "tube," "worm," or "rod" with Jesus's tooth, the narrator is bound together with others, focused on a shared purpose of connection and love.

This interconnectedness transforms into a dynamic process of becoming transparent and molten glass, with Jesus as the glass-blower, forming "cables of trust" that bind hearts together. The ultimate stage is a shattering and dissolution, likened to "snow," representing the breaking of hearts and the culmination of the transformative journey.

The episode concludes with the profound realization that intimacy with God and the ability to love deeply arise from conflict and reconciliation, as individuals lay down their lives to love a broken world, guided by Jesus.

Inspired by scriptures from Isaiah 41, this episode explores the challenging yet ultimately fulfilling path of healing trauma and unlocking deep love through a complete surrender and connection to the divine.

Welcome to The Rogue Dialogues: Inner Healing for Leadership, a unique podcast journey into the depths of the subconscious. Join Dr. Ernie as he explores his inner world through a series of raw and revealing stream-of-consciousness narratives, born during a period of unemployment and quarantine.

In this teaser, get a glimpse of the intense and often explicit conversations between the rebellious Rogue and a cast of surprising inner figures, including the war god Ares and the wise goddess Athena. Witness a hairy giant in bronze armor clash with an androgynous youth in black leather. Can they find common ground? When Rogue declares, “We rogues are the only ones who can get anything done anymore,” Ares surprisingly agrees, wanting to make “novel mistakes.”

But this is just the beginning. Follow the Rogue through transformative encounters, becoming an Acolyte learning the secrets of Wisdom, an Adept facing the tensions of reality, a Seer burdened by all-encompassing vision, and the enraged Carnus seeking answers.

Discover profound lessons on leadership, the power of words, the nature of safety, and the courage required to walk your own path. Prepare for unexpected twists, dark secrets, and even moments of shared laughter as the Rogue confronts inner demons and ultimately seeks inner healing.

Are you ready to dive into the unconventional and deeply personal journey of The Rogue Dialogues? Tune in to our first episode and see what happens when the rebellious parts of ourselves finally get a voice.

Introduction:

Have you ever wondered about the daily life of someone married to the divine? This episode explores the unique and often perplexing world of “Mrs. Jesus,” as chronicled in the Radically Happy blog series. We examine the intimate and cosmic dimensions of her marriage, where domesticity intertwines with the creation of the universe.

Core Conflict:

Inspired by the question posed in On Loving Jesus—“What is it like to be in love with Jesus? More importantly: to know that He is in love with you?”—we explore this relationship through Mrs. Jesus’s perspective. Her experiences reveal a love that demands understanding beyond the ordinary, where her husband’s frequent absences are not due to earthly concerns but his ongoing “Father’s work.”

Key Themes and Narrative Threads:

• The 1950s Setting with a Twist – The story begins in a seemingly idyllic suburban home, reminiscent of classic black-and-white sitcoms. However, this normalcy is soon disrupted by the extraordinary nature of her husband’s work and their family life.

• The Burden of Responsibility and the Desire for Connection – Mrs. Jesus struggles with feeling alone and overly responsible for their children during Jesus’s absences. She longs for a deeper connection and understanding of his life beyond their home. Jesus reassures her that the responsibility for their children’s shortcomings lies with him and his mission.

• A Wife’s Journey to Understand Divine Work – In a pivotal moment, Jesus takes Mrs. Jesus to witness his creation, revealing a vast and intricate universe that he is constantly building and maintaining. She realizes that his departures are essential for the creation and future of their family and all existence.

• The Cost of Redemption and the Desire to Participate – Mrs. Jesus expresses a powerful desire not just to be Jesus’s bride but his wife, seeking to understand and even participate in his divine work. She learns that “all of creation starts with my blood, and my Father’s broken body,” emphasizing the immense cost of their shared mission to restore “the power of God back into the world.”

• Embracing Suffering for Deeper Intimacy – In a symbolic and painful act, Mrs. Jesus undergoes a process involving nails, signifying her willingness to endure suffering to know Jesus more fully. Her motivation is clear: “All that matters is whether it brings me closer to you.”

• The Dark Night of the Soul – The story explores themes of abandonment and despair when Jesus is absent, mirroring the solemnity of Holy Saturday. Mrs. Jesus experiences profound loneliness and questions her very existence without him.

• The True Meaning of “Living” – The finale introduces a temptation reminiscent of the Garden of Eden, where a snake offers an easier path to “live” by ignoring the world’s pain. However, Mrs. Jesus ultimately chooses to partake of the “other” tree with bitter fruit, symbolizing the suffering and sacrifice necessary for true life and union with Jesus. She understands that only by experiencing the bitterness can she truly appreciate and partake in the other fruit without being destroyed by it.

Symbolic Elements:

The episode explores rich symbolism, including the cozy 1950s house, the arduous journey through the mountains, the “tree of all creation,” and the contrasting imagery of the two trees in the final installment.

Emotional Arc:

The story traces Mrs. Jesus’s emotional journey from confusion and loneliness to a deeper understanding of her husband’s divine purpose and her own role within it. It follows her commitment to a love that demands sacrifice, understanding, and a willingness to embrace both joy and profound sorrow.

Concluding Question:

Ultimately, this episode invites us to reflect: What does it truly mean to love and be loved by someone whose work transcends the earthly realm? And what are the radical implications of such a profound and all-encompassing love?