After growing up queer with a complicated father in the 1960s, a man forges his own path, identity and career in the arts, but suddenly, after a routine surgery, he wakes up unable to move.

Today we bring you the fifth episode of our annual 5-week summer rebroadcast series, airing 2 episodes a week. We will return with all new episodes starting Tuesday, September 16, 2025 . Today’s rebroadcast episode “What if you woke up and couldn’t move?” originally aired as episode 242 on August 16, 2022.

Today’s episode featured John Killacky. You can find out more about John by going to johnkillacky.com with links to his book, “because art: commentary, critique, & conversation” as well as links to some of his films.

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Content/Trigger Warnings: graphic medical descriptions, paralysis, suicidal ideation, explicit language

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Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

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Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: “Union Flow" - Spuntic

Services

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National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988

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