Great Danes are clingy dogs. Tips on how to prevent Separation Anxiety.

Woof! Welcome back to Danes Delight, the podcast where everything is better when you're looking down at it from six feet tall. I'm your host, Yeti.

Today, we're talking about something that hits close to home for a lot of us four-legged friends - separation anxiety. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Yeti, you're a Great Dane, you're practically the size of a small horse, what could you possibly be anxious about?

Well, my friends, size doesn't matter when it comes to missing your humans. Trust me, I've done extensive research on this topic, mostly by testing how long I can dramatically sigh by the front door.

Let me paint you a picture of what separation anxiety looks like in the Yeti household. Picture this: my human reaches for their keys, and suddenly I transform from a dignified Great Dane into what can only be described as a 150-pound furry tornado of emotions.

The tail tucking, the puppy dog eyes that could melt titanium, the subtle yet effective strategy of becoming a living roadblock between them and the door. You know, standard Tuesday stuff.

But here's the thing about us Great Danes - we're oversized lap dogs with the emotional complexity of a Shakespearean drama. When our humans leave, it's not just "oh, they'll be back.

Oh no. It's "WHAT IF THEY'VE BEEN CAPTURED BY SQUIRRELS? WHAT IF THEY'VE FORGOTTEN WHERE THEY LIVE? WHAT IF THEY'VE REALIZED I ATE THEIR FAVORITE SHOE AND THEY'RE NEVER COMING BACK?"

I've tried various coping mechanisms over the years. There's the classic "rearrange the furniture with my body" technique. Nothing says "I missed you" quite like a coffee table moved three feet to the left and a Great Dane-sized impression on the couch.

Then there's my personal favorite: the "redecorate with toilet paper" method. It's artistic, it's expressive, and it shows your humans that you've been thinking about interior design while they were gone.

But let's get serious for a moment - and by serious, I mean as serious as a dog who once got his head stuck in a cat door can be. Separation anxiety is real, and it affects a lot of dogs, especially us Danes who form powerful bonds with our families.

We're not just pets; we're furry family members who happen to shed more and have questionable taste in what constitutes food.

The first step in dealing with separation anxiety is understanding that it's not about being "bad" or "destructive." It's about genuine distress.

When I turn my human's bedroom into what looks like a pillow explosion, I'm not being vindictive. I'm expressing my feelings through interpretive home decoration. It's art.

Now, there are some practical strategies that have helped me and my fellow anxious canines. First, there's the desensitization approach. This is where your humans practice leaving for very short periods - like, going to check the mailbox for a short time.

At first, I thought this was just my human were being indecisive. "Are we going for a walk? No? Okay, I'll just wait here and practice my concerned face."

The key is making departures and arrivals low-key. No big emotional goodbyes that sound like they're heading off to war against the vacuum cleaner army. Just a casual "see you later," like they're going to the kitchen for a snack.

Though let's be honest, if they said they were going to the kitchen for snacks and then left the house, that would create a whole different kind of trust...