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You’re Not Selfish: The Truth About Healing After Toxic Love

You’re Not Selfish: The Truth About Healing After Toxic Love

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 Have you ever been called selfish for leaving a toxic relationship… or for finally saying NO? You’re not alone — and you’re not selfish. In this empowering episode, Christy Jade unpacks why women are labeled selfish after walking away from toxic love, and how to reframe those accusations as proof you’re actually healing. You’ll learn: ✅ Why abusers (and even family) weaponize the word “selfish” ✅ The truth about protecting your peace after toxic love ✅ A simple script + somatic reset to stop the guilt spiral ✨ Special Listener Offer: Need the exact words to shut down drama and protect your peace? My brand-new Copy.Paste.Peace Scripts give you ready-to-use responses for co-parents, toxic exes, family, or anyone trying to guilt-trip you. No more freezing up or second-guessing — just calm, confident replies that stop the chaos before it starts. They’re normally $37, but as a podcast listener, you can grab them today for just $17 with code PEACE → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/?coupon=PEACE 💖 Join the Community: Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse inside my free private Facebook group → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 👑 Work With Me 1:1: Ready to go deeper? Book a Reclaiming You coaching session and get personalized support to heal, rise, and rebuild → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello, gorgeous queen. You are looking beautiful today by the way. Just a side note. Alright, so we're going to talk about being selfish today. Okay? Have you ever been called selfish for walking away from your toxic situation? Whether it was a romantic situation, walking away from a family member or a lifelong friend, just someone at church, whatever it is, we're going to set the record straight. You are not selfish, okay? Protecting your peace after toxic anything is one of the most courageous and healing things you can do for yourself. So we'll dive in. Stay tuned. (00:41) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christy wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:39) One of the most common things I hear from women who have actually left the toxic relationship is they said, I'm selfish or I'm cold, right? So this could be your ex, maybe it's your own mom, maybe it's someone from your church community, someone in your workspace if you quit a job and it stings because deep down you've already given so much. But here's the truth, women who finally stand up and say, I cannot do this anymore, almost always get slapped with the label of selfish, cold, or even narcissistic themselves. Why? Well, because abusers and controlling people need to keep you in their system. And one of the easiest ways to guilt you back in is to make you question your goodness. So if you're a caring, empathetic woman, which you are, they know that calling you selfish will hit you right in the heart. They know that is your soft spot because that's actually your comfort, your pride in yourself is that you're not selfish. (02:53) You are an empath. You are giving and caring, and you do put people often before yourself. You're finally putting yourself first because you absolutely rock bottom, have to. And now they're going to twist it to call you selfish or a narcissist, right? Sometimes it's not even the abuser, usually it is, but it can also be outsiders. It can be mutual friends with the abuser. It can be family like other family members. If it's a family member, friends, people in religious circles who have been taught women should sacrifice endlessly no matter what. They don't get it. Or they've also bought into the idea that if you're not pouring yourself out 24 7, you're failing. And that's just a no. We're in 2025. People welcome. Okay? So let me tell you, being called selfish in those moments, it's not a sign you're doing something wrong. It's a sign you're finally doing something, right? (03:56) So you know what? From now on when someone says selfish, just say thank you in your head. Thanks. Because you know why they're saying it. It's for their own selfish reasons. It's not actually about you, okay? It's often just the word people...
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