In this game-changing episode of The Zero Disturbance Podcast, Kambria Evans continues the "Why Women Go to Therapy" series with a profound conversation on marriage, identity, and the transformative power of EMDR therapy. Drawing from over a decade of clinical experience, she explores how so many women enter marriage carrying generational programming, internalized shame, and false beliefs about what makes them "good" or "successful."

In light of the recent Vogue article suggesting that “having a boyfriend is embarrassing now,” this episode offers a particularly timely lens for re-thinking relational norms. While the Vogue article highlights how in today’s culture many women are publicly distancing themselves from the traditional badge of “partner status”—and instead choosing identity, autonomy, and self-defined value, its time that divorce also got a rebrand.

Through the story of a fictional client, Betsy, we illustrate how therapy—especially EMDR—can bring clarity, reduce emotional disturbance, and empower women to reevaluate long-held narratives. We challenge the outdated stigma around divorce and offer a bold reframe: divorce, for many women, is not a failure—it's an act of self-respect.

- Why EMDR is so effective in helping women find clarity in relationships

- The "branding of marriage" vs. the reality behind closed doors

- Four essential belief buckets used in EMDR to assess relationship health

- How societal and family programming creates inner conflict around leaving

- Why Self-led decisions—grounded in worth, safety, and power—must guide our biggest life choices

Whether you're navigating a relationship, contemplating a major life shift, or supporting a friend through divorce, this episode offers deep insights and compassionate validation. Its important to remind us: clarity is healing, and choosing yourself is never something to be ashamed of.

Quote to Remember:

"Divorce, when chosen from a place of self-worth and clarity, is not a failure—it’s an act of self-respect."

The Zero Disturbance podcast is for educational purposes and is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or individualized mental health or medical care. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle,

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this powerful episode, we explore the four distinct phases of therapy—with a spotlight on the often-overlooked 4th phase that can transform your healing journey. Drawing from EMDR, Brainspotting, and somatic therapy, this conversation breaks down what most therapeutic models miss and offers a path forward for deeper healing, integration, and self-leadership.

1. Phase One – The Call to Heal:
   
   
2. • A felt sense or internal voice tells you, “Something’s not right.”
   • Could show up as symptoms like panic attacks, IBS, migraines, or emotional overwhelm.
   • Your nervous system is asking for help.
     
     
3. Phase Two – Naming What’s Happening:
   
   
4. • Identifying trauma, patterns, and beliefs.
   • Going beyond content and symptoms to explore the underlying negative beliefs of self.
   • Using frameworks like the EMDR Beliefs Inventory to understand "Am I safe?", "Am I good?" etc.
     
     
5. Phase Three – Understanding with Clarity:
   
   
6. • Realizing the root causes and integrating new understandings.
   • Acceptance that positive beliefs of self likely won’t come from parents, society, or partners.
   • Many end therapy here—but there’s more.
     
     
7. Phase Four – Building the Self-Led System:
   
   
8. • Actively cultivating and expanding positive beliefs of self.
   • Working with brain-based therapies to create felt experiences of worth, safety, and power.
   • This is the transformational, empowering phase often skipped.
     
     

• You deserve all four phases—not just awareness and coping.
• Brain-based therapies like EMDR and Brainspotting can help lock in positive beliefs at a body level.
• You don’t have to stay stuck at “understanding.” You can build, reclaim, and expand into a fully actualized self.
  

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle,

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this transformative episode, we dive into one of the core reasons many women seek therapy: shame.

But shame isn’t just about feeling bad — it’s a manipulative system that’s often internalized from childhood, society, media, and relationships. Through personal insight and real client stories, Kambria walks listeners through how to identify, dismantle, and reclaim power from the shame system using somatic therapies like EMDR and Brainspotting.

This episode is both an invitation and a call to action for women to stop outsourcing their self-worth — and start building a new, Self-Led identity from the inside out.

💡 Key Takeaways:

• Shame is an internal system — not a reflection of truth
• You weren't born with it — it was programmed into you
• We often give others (exes, bosses, society) the power to “mirror” who we are — even when they’re not safe or accurate
• EMDR and Brainspotting help dismantle shame at the body level, not just cognitively
• Healing isn’t about changing them — it’s about reclaiming yourself
• Client stories show how freedom feels when shame stops working on you
• You can receive feedback without shame when you're Self-Led

Listener Challenge:

Take a moment to notice: Where am I still using an internalized shame system that was never mine to begin with?

Then ask: What would it feel like to let that go?

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle,

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this episode of the Zero Disturbance Podcast, we share a powerful story from a beachside restaurant in Portugal — where a loud fire alarm went off, but no one responded. This moment becomes a striking metaphor for how women often experience internal and external “alarms” from trauma, anxiety, or smear campaigns — even when they’re no longer in danger.

We explore how outdated nervous system responses (like panic, overthinking, or fear) often come from childhood survival strategies or abusive dynamics. Through therapy — particularly EMDR and Brainspotting — women can learn to recognize these false alarms, reclaim their power, and stop reacting to chaos that isn’t theirs to manage.

We also break down how narcissistic abuse and smear campaigns are designed to trigger alarm responses — and how women can stay grounded, neutral, and empowered in the face of that noise.

Key Takeaways:

• Not every alarm means danger — pause, assess, and trust your clarity.
• Trauma can be rewired — your nervous system can learn a new way to respond.
• Smear campaigns are strategy, not truth — and often reveal more about the abuser.
• You don’t need to fight the noise — you can live fully despite it.
• Keep dancing, even when the alarm goes off.

Note: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey.

Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle,

https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this powerful episode of Zero Disturbance, we challenge the obsession with analyzing narcissists—especially in the wake of narcissism going viral on social media. Drawing from extensive work with female clients recovering from narcissistic abuse, Kambria Evans offers a liberating message: stop trying to understand the narcissist and start reclaiming your own life. We explore how women often stay stuck in mental loops trying to dissect their partner’s behavior, history, or trauma in search of closure. But instead of answers, this rumination prolongs their pain and reinforces an unequal, trauma-informed framework. We emphasize that healthy, empathetic brains will never fully comprehend the narcissistic experience—and they don’t need to.

This episode dives deep into:

- The emotional trap of trying to "figure out" narcissists

- How empathy is weaponized to keep women stuck in unhealthy dynamics

- Why giving any attention (even negative) keeps you energetically connected to the abuse

- The need to shift focus from the narcissist’s dysfunction to your own healing and power

- How EMDR therapy can help women reclaim positive beliefs of self

- A bold call to stop blaming survivors with language like “trauma bonding”

We also zoom out to connect narcissism with broader systemic issues like patriarchy, showing how women's trauma is often socially reinforced. This episode isn’t just about healing—it's about waking up, taking back your narrative, and creating a future where therapy isn't always about recovering from trauma, but about thriving in your wholeness.

The Zero Disturbance podcast is for educational purposes and is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or individualized mental health or medical care. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey. Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle.

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In the 100th episode of The Zero Disturbance Podcast, we explore the viral “We Do Not Care Club” created by Melani Sanders — a humorous and healing movement that’s resonating deeply with women everywhere. Through an EMDR lens, we break down why this message feels so good in the body, especially for women navigating burnout, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and midlife transitions like perimenopause and menopause.

We learn how EMDR therapy helps clients move from negative self-beliefs (“I have to be perfect,” “It’s my fault”) to deep somatic neutrality — the kind of empowered calm that fuels true healing and lasting transformation. We also unpack how society’s expectations, gendered emotional labor, and unspoken pressures on women intersect with hormonal shifts, and why so many women are finally saying: We do not care.

Whether you're deep in midlife or just beginning to question the stories you’ve been told, this episode offers education, validation, and a call to reclaim your own nervous system and voice — one belief at a time.

This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy. If you’re experiencing difficulties, please seek guidance from a licensed mental health provider. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Come learn with us at Zero Disturbance:

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey. Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle.

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.

In this powerful episode of the Zero Disturbance Podcast, we dive into a transformational topic: women and urges—and how honoring our body's messages can radically shift how we live, love, and lead.

We explore why so many women are disconnected from their intuition, bodies, and desires, often due to lifelong social conditioning, trauma, and internalized shame. Through the lens of EMDR therapy and somatic healing, Kambria Evans shares how recognizing and following a “full-body yes” (and saying no to a “full-body no”) can become a revolutionary act of self-love.

• The importance of somatic awareness and listening to your body's urges
• How EMDR therapy can help process and play out suppressed parts safely
• The role of trauma, societal programming, and patriarchal norms in urge repression
• Why midlife can spark a crisis—or awakening—of long-ignored parts of self
• The difference between reactive choices and intentional decisions around urges
• How urge exploration can reduce burnout, autoimmune issues, and chronic stress
• A step-by-step invitation for therapists and non-therapists to practice urge awareness

Whether you're a therapist, a woman in midlife, or someone exploring deeper emotional work, this episode will validate your inner knowing and help you return to the wisdom of your body.

Your urges aren’t problems—they're messages. What happens if you actually listen?

The Zero Disturbance podcast is for educational purposes and is not a replacement for a therapeutic relationship or individualized mental health or medical care. All stories, examples, and characters shared are fictionalized or composite representations. Any resemblance to actual persons or situations is purely coincidental and intended solely for educational illustration.

Want to learn more about empowering yourself to experience therapy or coaching on your terms? If you appreciated this episode, you wont want to miss out on The Client Workbook + supporting videos! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/client-workbook

We also offer free resources for clients and therapists! https://www.zerodisturbance.com/free-resources

Get access to our free client resource library for the most up-to-date tools and resources for your own journey. Therapists, access our favorite free resources for designing high-value offers in The Zero Disturbance Welcome Bundle.

With a Masters in Education from Vanderbilt, Kambria has been creating trainings and teaching adult learners for over 20 years. As the Director of Education and Quality Improvement at Stanford Medical School, she created ease in complex systems, thereby giving medical trainees successful learning experiences. Now, as a dedicated mom, therapist, and EMDR Consultant, Kambria knows what it means to do things efficiently, effectively, and in a learner-centered way. When she isn't podcasting or creating online courses, you can find Kambria playing with her twins on a beach in California.