Adventure Fantasy Humor

Krample is the self-proclaimed evil CEO of Krample Co, a well-renowned toy company in the Jolian system. Each year, Krample sets out on a quest to thwart Galactic Claus and become the official toy provider for Galaxmas. With an increasingly disgruntled board of directors, Krample must take drastic measures to secure the future of his company and defeat Galactic Claus once and for all. Join Krample, his trusted advisor and cookie-baking expert, a hot Kolithian secretary, and a pepperoni/AI framework expert as they set out on a not-so-epic Galaxmas quest.

This audiobook is intended for children of all ages. It is set in 1959, but in a parallel universe, starring Albert, an eternally youthful 77-year-old, and his 7-year-old best friend, Wilber. Join them on their many surreal adventures as Albert seeks to cling onto his youth and find the answer of a lifetime. Three wild days in Albert's world full of imaginative scenery and quirky characters, combined with plenty of good old-fashioned 1950's boyhood charm, will leave you wondering what could possibly happen next.

The world is divided between Asia and the United Continents - two great super powers locked in eternal warfare. But the balance of power is about to shift in Asia’s favor. They have developed a top-secret weapon - the cohesion projector-that could lead to annihilation on an unprecedented scale.... But as far as Lorrilard is concerned, the number one problem with the projector is that it stands in the way of his profits. Can he find a way to subvert the powerful weapon and resume his enterprising exploits?

The time? Tomorrow. Can the president of the United Red States of America and the president of the United Blue States of America come together to stop a giant asteroid before it destroys Earth in one month's time? Who is the mysterious Doctor Apophis? What is the "S.U.R.", and why is the president of the USA determined to defend it at all costs? What the hell is the Canadian army doing in North Dakota, and why does HRH Queen Kate of England want to wage war with the USA? And what is...The Myoshi Effect?

PHLEGM is not one of those acronyms that just rolls off the tongue. It tends to stick in the throat. But it's easier to say than Planetary Hub Law Enforcement Group - Monroe Division. PHLEGM is an important unit, doing an important job. Members of this group are called shields and they patrol Monroe Station, a huge orbital community in Earth's influence. This story is about one of those shields. His name is Levi, and he's trying to fit into a human world as best he can.

Quiti and the rest of the Hair Suits have just set up the Hair Suite, the embassy of the alien Hair Balls, when they learn they have competition. Alien cyborgs called Chip Monks want to win Earth for themselves. The two species must duel for control. These rivals discover a third alien species that threatens to destroy Earth, and have to join up quickly in order to protect the planet they are both seeking to win. Along the way, they get swept up in a world of intergalactic politics, wormholes, and role-playing.

This paranormal adventure follows a young adventure-seeker and a curmudgeonly ghost bound together in a combative partnership that escalates to the comedic breaking point. Only by reconciling their differences are they able to defeat destructive forces working against them, and uncover the profound connections that weave their fates together.

Every cheap little barbarian movie deserves a sequel. But abiding by the laws of straight-to-video sword and sorcery, the sequel doesn’t always continue the story. They’re crazier, funny, and often far removed from the mythology laid down by the film which preceded them. So, in keeping with this formula comes Sword Dude 2. The continuing adventures of the hero also known as the Dude of Swords. He’s back, by popular demand, fighting, killing, playing it cool, and saving the girl in this phantasmagoric romp into realms fantastic.

The Wonderful World of Linus Bailey existed, until recently, entirely within Linus' head. That was okay until the morning of his tenth birthday, when it all came true. Welsh coal miners singing in the garden, a camel, a headmaster who turned evil and a school that became a castle, these all became the backdrop to the much bigger question: Would Nigel Bailey, his Yorkshire Ninja dad arrive in time for his birthday, or would Linus be trapped down a mine for ever? Immerse yourself in the mind of a ten-year-old British schoolboy as he learns to cope with a brand new world.

When it comes to big dreams and schemes, young Chuck Lambert would give Walter Mitty a run for his money. In fact, Chuck’s biggest dream of all is really out of this world. Because he’s got his eyes on a prize in the sky. Chuck wants to buy a planet of his own.... Madman Murphy, the King of Planetary Realtors, is more than happy to oblige. He’s got a whole galaxy of planets for sale. All Chuck needs is money . . . and a lot of it. Eleven years later, saving every penny he can scrape up, Chuck’s dream comes true. He takes possession and takes off for Planet 19453X...

Farmer Eben Smith heads off to the big city to trade his wagonload of produce. But he barters a lot more than goods after he stumbles across a strange crossroads in time, bargains with different cultures in alternate realities, and accidentally wreaks havoc and chaos in each.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! The Empire State Building has vanished into thin air! Gone, too, are Grant’s Tomb and Grand Central Station, and all hell is breaking loose in New York City! What’s the story? One grizzled old newspaper reporter known simply as Pop - a role made for Walter Matthau - is on top of it...and better stay there, because his livelihood is on the line. If Pop fails to get to the bottom of the vanishing landmarks, his job will disappear as well - and land in the hands of the newspaper publisher’s son-in-law.

Penniless, homeless, and virtually lifeless, the vagrant “Doughface” Jack is about to discover that where medical marvels meet the mysteries of the human mind, amazing things happen. The Tramp acquires a capability beyond his imagination and without equal on Earth. Riding the rails, Jack runs afoul of a local sheriff and ends up with a crushed skull. He’s as good as dead until a savvy country doctor performs a bit of medical magic.

This collection of 12 short stories is based on the adventures of the starcruiser Galaxy and its valiant crew.

Two time-traveling special agents and a feisty young lady pirate captain join forces to prevent the course of history from being changed. Zane Kirby and Gus McAbee travel back from the future to the Bahamas of 1717, where pirates rule the waves and Spanish gold is the prize that attracts them. The two agents of the Federal Bureau of Temporal Regulation must find a renegade from their own day - Roger Turnbuckle - before the modern weapons he has smuggled back through time to the pirates of the past can upset the balance of power in the Caribbean and change history.

Jack Frost invades Hell. Intriguing right? Well, hold onto your hats, there is more to this story. Demon Winters follows Dee - a pudgy, slacker, emo, and a want-to-be poet all wrapped up into a husky, hoofed Hellion. As he sets out on an adventure with his trusty shovel and treasured journal, overcoming the new snow-covered landscape while battling foreign ice creatures of legend to restore Hell from the icy grip of Jack Frost. ***This book uses explicit language from time to time.***

That is Fanner Marston’s mantra—his reason for being—and while he knows a little about the first and a lot about the second, he may well be on the verge of learning everything there is to know about the third. Power. He may, in fact, be about to uncover the key to gaining absolute control over the entire universe. The only problem is, Fanner is certifiably insane.... His starship has crash-landed, and he’s the sole survivor, which doesn’t matter to him.

In the future, the only weapon against the evil aliens is a nice, sharp cheddar! The Farfnians rule the galaxy with an iron claw, and Earth has been relegated to a backwater planet. What's an ingenious human to do? Find a chink in the Farfnian's chitinous armor - cheese! Enter Harry Fische, captain of the stringship Limburger, and his intrepid crew.

Firsten Guide is a tough, wise-cracking rebel leader who’s light years ahead of his time - and about to lead his crew into a battle that’s Beyond All Weapons. He and his fellow colonizers of Mars have faced a brutal crackdown engineered by Earth’s tyrannical government. But the resourceful Firsten has developed an extraordinary new fuel that enables him and his hardy band to escape into space - and time.

Sometimes it feels like Oddonis can’t do anything right. Especially compared to his literally perfect twin brother, Adonis. But this time, Oddonis has really messed up by accidentally turning his father, the all-powerful king of the gods, Zeus, into a giant baby. Now, it’s up to Oddonis to assemble a team of his odd friends - Mathena, Gaseous, and Puneous - and journey to the underworld to get the curse reversed. Along the way, Oddonis will have to overcome a series of dangerous obstacles, his obnoxious brother, his own self-doubt, and the horrible scents of his best friend.