Dark Humor Science Fiction

When life gives you oranges, you make orange juice...or keep them on the counter to grow old and eventually get thrown away. When it gives you a demonic master, you become a warlock; that's what I did anyway. My name is Benjamin, but you can call me Big Daddy Ben - no one else does. I was midway through my 20s and living a relatively normal life when everything changed. No, I wasn’t accepted into some weird warlock school for gifted adults.

Before the dungeons, before the dragons, there is the party.... Valeran is bored. Corbett is broke. Andreton and Donald are on the run and Dorian just wants to do what is right. Not the best recipe for a questing group but when you are driven by prophecy sometimes the mix is decided for you.

Sharing a beer with Death - one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - really put a few things into perspective for this foul-mouthed, billionaire wizard. Like finally getting the stones to propose to his girlfriend. But the Brothers Grimm - legendary supernatural assassins - have escaped their prison, and the number one thing they want after their centuries-long incarceration is Nate Temple’s head. With the entire wedding party also on their hit list and the Temple family fortune in jeopardy, Nate realizes they can’t run and they can’t hide. So, time to do magic and stuff.

Nate Temple has gotten away with a lot in recent years: cow-tipping the Minotaur, decimating a gang of weredragons, sucker punching angels, and eating pancakes with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He’s kidnapped one of the most powerful wizards on the planet and slaughtered the Brothers Grimm. Lady Luck has been very good to Nate Temple…until now. Nate's good fortune has turned, catching the attention of a recruiter - the kind of person who offers jobs that can’t be refused.

Set in a fantasy world of unmanageable magics and questionable cosmology, There and NEVER, EVER Back Again: A Dark Lord's Journal is the peculiar, blackly satirical tale of the Dark Lord, who is amassing an army of Things of the Night, and awaiting likely death at the hands of the Elves, the Dwarves, the Armies of Man, and the White Wizard: Embodiment of all that is good and right; just ask him. And: The Chosen One: Victim - sorry, meant to say "Hero" - of a glorious prophecy....

Having escaped being burnt at the stake, the reluctant sorcerer Fursey is back in this sequel, trying to make a quiet life for himself as a grocer in the realm of King Ethelwulf. But when his old enemies seize his wife, Fursey resolves to embrace evil and return to Ireland to reclaim her. Along the way, he'll have to contend with bloodthirsty Vikings, a melancholy vampire, an alcoholic wizard, a lovesick cow, and Satan himself, who is more determined than ever to get his hands on Fursey's soul.

From Emmy Award-winning author David Quantick, All My Colors is a darkly comic novel about a man who remembers a book that may not exist, with dire consequences. A bizarre, mind-bending story at the intersection of Richard Bachman, Charlie Kaufman, and Franz Kafka.

For a formerly mindless thrall, Badass Mike’s life isn’t easy. Ever since he got into a tussle with the American justice system, his body has been forced to wander the Earth while his head is trapped in a jar. He could, of course, rely on his new acquaintance Billy Bitchcakes to help him out - that is if the little guy isn’t too busy working on his “brand”. Oh, and there’s also his lawyer, whose name is...

Two weeks after waking up as a vampire, Sarah Wright is starting to feel comfortable in her fangs. She’s doing okay, if you don’t count wicked mood swings, crushing guilt, and a pervasive sense of existential dread. On the upside, her family is adjusting to the new normal of supernatural in stride, and she’s even testing the waters with a new guy.

In Knucklehead we meet Marcus Hayes, a Black law student who struggles, sometimes unsuccessfully, with the impulse to confront everyday bad behavior with swift and antisocial action. The cause of this impulse is unknown to him. When Marcus unexpectedly becomes involved with the brilliant and kind Amalia Stewart, her love and acceptance pacify his demons. But when his demons return, he is no longer inclined to contain them.

The deathly silence is about to be broken. She disliked the company of others and death did little to warm her spirit. She had led an independent life and she faced death in much the same way. She was finally alone, finally free from the mindless babble of others, at least that's what she thought. May Elizabeth Trump was the rarest of spirits and she was none too happy about it either. She was a dead medium, a ghost who can speak with the living, and her services were to become in great demand.

A year ago, Boy, the son of Frankenstein's monster, had never even met a human. Now he's living with his human "family", the descendants of Dr. Frankenstein, in Switzerland. That is until the maniacal genius Dr. Moreau, long-ago banished to a remote island for his crimes against humanity, asks for Boy's help.

Avery Doyle loves vampires; he's read every novel, seen all the movies, and researched the folklore. When his first one-night-stand, Caroline, turns out to be a true vampire on the run, he jumps at the chance to leave his ordinary life and join her as a "child of the night". The honeymoon ends, however, when Caroline's brutal Creator Sebastian enslaves them on his island estate and Avery must confront the dehumanizing reality behind his dreams. In order to survive, Caroline and Avery take their place as servants in Sebastian's household during a gathering of the most powerful vampires on Earth.

If Asher Hearst had a superpower, it would have to be his ability to take a punch, laugh it off, and keep on swinging. So yeah, immortality comes with a few perks. As a college student slash small-time fixer, he's about to take a job that's best left to the pros. A proposition by a dryad to save witches from the Inquisition is a first, but he isn't one to balk when the odds are stacked against him. Especially not while he's drinking on someone else's dime.

Kate and Michael, twenty-something housemates working at the same Trader Joe’s supermarket, are thoroughly screwed when people start turning into zombies at their house party in the Oakland hills. The zombie plague is a sexually transmitted disease, turning its victims into shambling, horny, voracious killers.

The year is 2008; the place, San Diego, California. Avril Farva wakes up every day to live a mundane existence that she hates. She never aspired to be much, but at 26, she feels there has to be more to life than what sits around her. One day, an odd fellow enters her dull existence; he introduces himself as Theodore Larkin, but Avril is suspicious of his strange demeanor and dialect. At first, she brushes him off as a loon until he refuses to give up, so she gives in; after all, he is the most intriguing person to enter her life since high school ended.

The history of lycanthropes stretches back to man’s beginnings. From cave drawings and tribal folklore to the Inquisition and the 20th century, man’s fascination with werewolves has never wavered. The field of study has been ripped wide open, with new information uncovered daily. How do you detect a werewolf when they are in human form? What if a family member is a werewolf? How do you defend yourself from an attack? How do you escape from savage lycanthropes? Don’t be caught flat-footed again. This is the field guide everybody needs to protect themselves and their family.

There are only a few weeks left before an asteroid destroys the planet. It’s the countdown, and all of humanity is just waiting for the end. In Phoenix, AZ, the sheriff’s department and National Guard are battling for supremacy, gas is as good as cash, and elementary school kids are out for blood. Most people in town have become the worst versions of themselves. Except for Dutch Kovaks, private detective. Dutch wants to right some wrongs, help a few people in need, and use the days he’s got left for good. Most of all, he wants to track down a bottle of gin.

Marsh Wethers was once a legendary law enforcer in the solar system of Remus 7. Now, he is a space hunter, a professional tracker paid to find the criminals the authorities cannot. One thing he has not been able to find, however, is the truth about a terrible crime from his past. When Marsh comes across an unlikely key that can unlock the answers to the events that have plagued him, he knows he will have to go beyond the law.

Brightness Falls isn't just the name of the TV show that womanizing man-child Andrew Ware has been painstakingly creating for the last couple years, it's also his hometown. A town that he loves as much as he hates. By request of no one, Andrew returns home to help his sister separate from her husband, only to become sidetracked by a beautiful woman. A few drinks and few compliments later the woman is dead, killed in a tragic oral sex accident. In which Andrew would have lost his own life if it weren’t for the dapperly dressed, antler-headed, human skeleton named Doug.