Humor Funny

This audiobook contains hundreds upon hundreds of the most funny and amusing jokes - so you can fall on the ground and start laughing your head off! You only live once, but if you live it right, then once is enough. These jokes will get you laughing for hours upon hours. Enjoy! Get it now.

When Mercy Watson the pig goes missing, all of Deckawoo Drive is in an uproar. The Watsons are inconsolable, and the local police, fire, and animal control departments are no help whatsoever. Bossy neighbor Eugenia Lincoln is not quite as sad as she might be, but thankfully her sister, Baby Lincoln, has the idea to hire a private investigator. Granted, Percival Smidgely, PI, may be more bumbler than gumshoe, but his pigeon, Polly, is there to point the way.

Uncover the side-splitting life of cucumber scaredy-cats, non-stop pooping hamsters, exploding fish and everything in-between (and some things that have nothing to do with pets but are still ridiculously funny). This hilarious audiobook answers all the big questions, like: do sausage dogs eat sausages? Why has my cat done a poo behind my wardrobe? And how can I persuade my parents to get me a pet? For real-life pet facts, imaginary stories, and a generally laugh-so-hard-snot-comes-out-your-nose listen, this is the only pet book you’ll ever need!

Uncover the ridiculously funny life of teachers (and some things that have nothing to do with teachers but are still splendidly funny) according to James Campbell, comedian extraordinaire. Ever wondered what teachers do when they’re not in the classroom? Are they undercover detectives, champion roller-blade dancers or do they spend their evenings playing with their 576 cats? Whether you love or loathe your teachers, want to become one when you grow up or don't give two figs about your teacher but simply love a hilarious listen, this audiobook is for you.

Alan Zweibel started his comedy career selling jokes for seven dollars apiece to the last of the Borscht Belt standups. Then one night, despite bombing on stage, he caught the attention of Lorne Michaels and became one of the first writers at Saturday Night Live, where he penned classic material for Gilda Radner, John Belushi, and all of the original Not Ready for Prime Time Players. From SNL, he went on to have a hand in a series of landmark shows - from It’s Garry Shandling’s Show to Curb Your Enthusiasm.

1. Are you in a leadership position at work? 2. Do you frequently communicate big ideas to your team? 3. Do you find yourself wondering if your message is being received the way it was intended? 4. Are you looking for a way to deepen your impact as a leader and a speaker? If the answer to any of these questions is YES, then this book can you be trusty sidekick helping use humor to deliver messages and plant seeds of change in your organization. Humor Science takes an engineering approach to the art of being engaging.

Meet Weir Do. No, that's not a typo, that's his name! Weir Do's the new kid in school. With an unforgettable name, a crazy family, and some seriously weird habits, fitting in won't be easy...but it will be funny!

Meet Tommy Martini, the monk with an anger management problem. His meditations are interrupted by a legacy from his uncle, a crooked priest. Arriving in a New Age Arizona town to claim his inheritance, Brother Tommy meets a charismatic, smoking-hot cult leader who claims that women are being impregnated by alien beings while they sleep. Tommy’s own sleep is disturbed - by cartel hitmen, Mafia bill collectors, and women intrigued by his vow of chastity.

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

A collection of 250 of the funniest pickup lines anywhere! If you love adult humor and a good laugh, then you will enjoy these cute, nerdy, and dirty pickup lines. Many lines can be deployed effectively in real life without the threat of an impending face slap. However, other offensive lines are for entertainment only. You have to decide your level of risk.

On the longest night of 1895, a terrible storm rages above Harewood Hall. Max, Markham and an injured Peterson are welcomed in by the Harewood family but quickly realise that the gathering is far from celebratory. For tonight marks the Ordeal of the Haunted Room. Every Harewood heir must endure one terrifying night alone in the Haunted Room before he can inherit the family seat. Legend says that ghosts will murder anyone who isn't the true heir. Francis Harewood's ordeal will begin at midnight and end at dawn, but it isn't long before everything goes horribly wrong.

Here you have found a book so foul, so repulsive, so horrifying...that you will undoubtedly find yourself running to the nearest bathroom in an effort to both relieve your bowels and scrub your hands clean of its putrid filth. They have finally released this humorous collection of terrifying tales, despite the bitter public outcry which demanded these pages never see the light of day...and perhaps for good reason.

The stereotypically silly dad joke is the hallmark of every fun dad. Utterly uncool, perplexingly amusing, and painfully funny, they’re guaranteed to induce both groans and guffaws from anyone who hears them. You can count on your reliable wisecracks to liven up any gathering and cheer up any mood.

Criminal defense investigator Cecil Younger spends his days coaching would-be felons on how to avoid incriminating themselves. When Sherrie, a returning client with a good heart but a penchant for bad boys, asks him to track down some evidence that will help with her case, Cecil agrees. Cecil treks out to the shady apartment complex she mentioned, only to find his teenage daughter, Blossom, inside. He manages to get both the box Sherrie wanted and his daughter safely home, and later discovers the "evidence" is a large pile of cash - fifty thousand dollars, to be exact.

Every manager learns from the same source: Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook. This valuable management handbook teaches new managers how to transform themselves from bitter and bewildered "little people" into fully functioning, paradigm-spewing management zombies.

They say nothing compares to striking gold… well, that person was never pregnant with twins and launching a PI business! Join all the usual suspects in gold country as Kate and Vicente Domingo take a romp in his old town, Golden,…oh–and a dead body or two are sure to appear! Can Kate solve her most dangerous case before the killer strikes again?

The Stryx offer EarthCent help in reaching out to the wide-spread human communities, but as usual, it comes with a catch or two. Kelly see an opportunity to increase her book hoard, just as publishing on Union Station begins to take off and Donna's daughters enter a friendly competition. But who will publish the most expensive book of all?

While Kelly struggles to come up with a research project to apply for sabbatical, the role-playing craze reaches Union Station, and the Open University offers a for-credit LARP. Dorothy finally finishes her wedding dress with a technical flourish, and Jeeves plots to recoup his costs.

Devastatingly handsome and insanely rich, Farrell Covington is capable of anything and impossible to resist. He’s a clear-eyed romantic, an aesthete but not a snob, self-indulgent yet wildly generous. As the son of one of the country’s most powerful and deeply conservative families, the world could be his. But when he falls for Nate Reminger, an aspiring writer from a nice Jewish family in Piscataway, New Jersey, the results are passionate and catastrophic. Together, the two embark on a unique romance that spans half a century.

The queen of British comedy brings her fantastically funny mix of observations on life, jokes, and songs to audio, taken from the award-winning Victoria Wood - as Seen on TV.