Humorous Fiction Family

Myrtle Meek has everything she could possibly want. But everything isn’t enough. She wants more, more, MORE! When Myrtle declares she wants a FING, there’s only one problem.... What is a FING? Mr and Mrs Meek will do anything to keep their darling daughter happy, even visit the spooky library vaults to delve into the dusty pages of the mysterious Monsterpedia. Their desperate quest leads to the depths of the jungliest jungle where the rarest creatures can be found. But will they ever find a FING?

Jessica and Elizabeth have always been inseparable twins, but starting middle school means a chance for new beginnings! Elizabeth is excited to organize a school newspaper, but Jessica is more interested in joining the exclusive Unicorn Club. What will happen when the twins realize they might not be as alike as they thought? Middle school is hard enough, but with these twins each dealing with becoming their own person—will they be able to stay friends at the same time?

This spring, Mia's determined to have a good time, despite the fact that the student government over which she presides is suddenly broke. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) Grandmere has an elaborate scheme to simultaneously raise money, catapult Mia to theatrical fame, and link her romantically with an eligible teen bachelor, not her boyfriend. It's no wonder that Michael, the love of her life, seems to think she's a psycho, or worse: not much fun.

Thanks to the efforts of Miss Penelope Lumley, their plucky governess, Alexander, Beowulf, and Cassiopeia are much more like children than wolf pups now. They are accustomed to wearing clothes. They hardly ever howl at the moon. And for the most part, they resist the urge to chase squirrels up trees.

Unhappy Penelope Lumley is trapped in unhappy Plinkst! Even the beets for which Plinkst is inexplicably famous fail to grow in this utterly miserable Russian village. Penelope anxiously counts the days and wonders how she will ever get back to England in time to save all the Ashtons—who, she now knows, include herself and the Incorrigible children, although their precise location on the family tree is still a mystery—from their accursèd fate.

When his parents return from Kenya with a cute little green lizard on his eighth birthday (he's two times two times two), Jacob Two-Two is thrilled. But it isn't long before Jacob realizes that his new pet, Dippy, isn't a lizard after all. And as months pass, it is apparent Dippy isn't so little either. Soon Dippy is attracting all sorts of unwanted attention, and before he knows it, Jacob is on the run from the Canadian government with a full-grown dinosaur to hide.

Dutch-American storyteller Hilda Van Stockum provides us with another episode in the life of the Mitchell family, this time taking on life as it comes in a truly unforgettable Canadian summer.

A super-duper dog show is Brother and Sister Bear’s greatest idea yet. What could possibly go wrong? Find out what happens when Too-Tall and the gang decide to crash the big show. This engaging audio chapter book features all your favorite Berenstain Bear family and friends. Dogs large and small will do amazing tricks. Dr. Hairball, the vet, will judge. The Arfo Dog Biscuit Company has even agreed to give out prizes to each and every dog. It’s sure to be the best dog show ever...or is it?

Ramona is happy to have a new bedroom all to herself - during the day, at least. It's not as easy to be brave when there might be ghostly, boneless gorillas oozing under the door at night. Then there is the big, mean dog that steals Ramona's shoe on her way to school. Any other first grader might be frightened. But it's going to take more than monsters and dogs to scare this fearless first grader!

Her body used to work perfectly. For years, she tallied her orgasms, maintained a Top Humps list, and rated men on whether they excited her more mentally or physically—all with the purpose of finding the ideal love match. Now, as she moves into her thirties and is settled down with Serious Boyfriend Number Three, she’s run into a problem. Sex hurts. She can’t get wet. Her vagina, which has never led her astray before, suddenly seems like it might be broken.

Bick, Beck, Storm, and Tommy are stuck in Washington, DC without any priceless antiques to hunt - BORING! But everything changes when the Kidds uncover a dastardly conspiracy: a fake Bill of Rights! Now they're crisscrossing the country in a race to prove the document is a forgery. But the key to exposing the conspiracy may have been under their noses the whole time. And if they don't find it soon, the USA as we know it could be gone forever....

Splash! This time, Abby's magic mirror sucks her into the tale of the Little Mermaid. Abby and her little brother Jonah get pulled through the mirror in their basement again - into the story of the Little Mermaid! Talk about being a fish out of water! Abby and Jonah are not in their element in this underwater world. And when they accidentally mess up the Little Mermaid's story, they must figure out a way to restore her happy ending. A hilarious, fractured-fairy-tale adventure under the sea.

You know it's going to be a rough summer when you spend Father's Day visiting your dad in the local lockup. Noah's dad is sure that the owner of the Coral Queen casino boat is flushing raw sewage into the harbor, which has made taking a dip at the local beach like swimming in a toilet. He can't prove it though, and so he decides that sinking the boat will make an effective statement. Right. The boat is pumped out and back in business within days and Noah's dad is stuck in the clink.

Never before has the world seen such a princess. Nor have her own subjects, for that matter. Mia's royal introduction to Genovia has mixed results: while her fashion sense is widely applauded, her position on the installation of public parking meters is met with resistance.

Ramona's life changes the moment Howie Kemp's mysterious uncle arrives from Saudi Arabia. Howie and his sister, Willa Jean, talk only about Uncle Hobart. Ramona's mother makes secret phone calls and stops eating dessert, and Aunt Bea is hiding something, too. Whatever surprises are in store, Ramona is determined to be happy and helpful. Whether she's pleasant or pesty, brave or blunderful, she's always wonderful Ramona - forever!

Coop is cooking up another sure-misfire scheme (big surprise), and this time the comedy plays out from Sean’s point of view. What’s the new master plan? Making a cheapo horror movie guaranteed to make Coop, Sean, and Matt filthy rich! It’s a terrible idea, and Sean knows it. But he actually is desperate for cash - and for a way to wipe that big fat L off his girlfriend-less forehead. But when he agrees to write a script about the attack of zombie-vampire humanzees, he has no idea just how powerful a chick magnet this movie will be. Suddenly Sean is juggling not one but three interested ladies.

Things are not looking good for Zoe. Her stepmother Sheila is so lazy she gets Zoe to pick her nose for her. The school bully Tina Trotts makes her life a misery - mainly by flobbing on her head. And now the evil Burt from Burt’s Burgers is after her pet rat! And guess what he wants to do with it? The clue is in the title....

After sixth grade, the very worst year of his life, Rafe Khatchadorian thinks he has it made in seventh grade. He's been accepted to art school in the big city and imagines a math-and-history-free fun zone. Wrong! It's more competitive than Rafe ever expected, and to score big in class, he needs to find a way to turn his boring life into the inspiration for a work of art. His method? Operation: Get a Life! Anything he's never done before, he's going to do it, from learning to play poker to going to a modern art museum.

Rex's parents have split up, he's about to make the daunting move to secondary school and to make matters worse, he has to spend his summer holiday on a remote and rainy Irish island - with lots of unruly sheep for company. The only upside: he'll be staying with his strange and brilliant uncle, Derm. Then Rex discovers Uncle Derm is about to execute his most hair-brained plan yet - to rob the island's travelling bank!

Anastasia Krupnik's little brother, Sam, wants fangs more than anything in the world. But there is one big problem. Sam's mother, Mrs. Krupnik, has fangphobia and forbids Sam even to touch his plastic vampire fangs in the house. How can she not see how cool fangs really are? Sure, they make it hard to eat hot dogs, but they make him look disgusting - and Sam loves to took disgusting.