Satire Science

Enter into the salaciously sexy world of “environmental espionage” and meet Jayms Blonde. He’s gorgeous, gay, and makes the bad guys pay! A hairdresser by trade and a secret agent by choice, this former US Navy Seal can handle an Uzi like a teasing comb.

What if you could reach back in time to deport the world’s worst environmental villains to a depository planet before their greed condemns Earth to an ecological apocalypse? What if each time you did so, an alien instantly extracted a body part and replaced it with a refurbished one? Would you still do it?

The Doctor awakens to discover a universe that is at once all too familiar and yet completely unlike that which he was expecting. Join him as he argues with himself, his companions, and anyone else near enough to be drawn in—all the while attempting to save a shattered and disintegrating universe. If this seems to be parodying something familiar that has itself recently fallen apart and lost its shine, it probably is.

Sheriff Mac must put his love interest on hold when KORN radio station is attacked by a UFO. Believers flock to the lake to witness another UFO attack. The media frenzy grows when Bigfoot is seen near the attack site. Can Mac solve the UFO and Bigfoot mysteries in time to save his relationship with Faith?

Tyrus Murphy is a bumbling EMT from Nebraska with big dreams. When he gets a call from an unknown number informing him he’s just inherited his uncle’s island of killer robots, he has one thought: world domination. International conquest ends up being more challenging than it seems, as the young ruler faces hard partying politicians, mysterious old aristocrats, and even his own unexpected aversion to violence. Powered by optimism and greed, Tyrus falls face-first through a globe-trotting adventure that rarely goes according to plan.

You'll never look at doughnuts the same way again. Now that Kallie Grande-White has reluctantly agreed to find the one who stole her grandmother's top secret, radioactive doughnut recipe, she's more than a little inconvienced by the entire thing - especially since her superhero alter-ego is "Fatgirl", Cuttingham City's would-be superhero who, unbeknowst to them, accidentally saved the city from a terrorist attack.

An implant that gives moral advice whether you like it or not, an irritable galactic ambassador examining Earth’s religions, a future where love can’t happen without litigation, pushy alien anthropologists without regard for the human need for privacy, discrimination against an artificial intelligence in a multicultural world, alien sex - love in the time of deformity, neighborly nitpicking made easy by Computer Court, the excruciating reality of Martian music, invasion of the toe snatchers, something crunchy on the menu, and a transgenic pig dog at war with an android nemesis.

There's nothing that 17-year-old Kallie Grande-White hungers for more than to be a famous model like her mother - except maybe actually food. But that's a small inconvenience, especially with the Model Middle America reality show holding auditions for the Next Top Heartland Teen Heartthrob Model right in Kallie's hometown. Nothing's going to stand in Kallie's way as she claws her way to the top. But when Kallie downs half a dozen of her PhD-in-nuclear-nanotechnology grandmother's radioactive doughnuts in a momentary fit of rage, everything changes - starting with her own body!

When the mysterious zookeeper of Clarendon Zoo grants his animals freedom to govern themselves, the creatures create a new land founded upon life, liberty, and happiness for all animals. Though the land seems to function well, each species soon realizes they have differing visions for how the land should be governed. With the help of Eagle and Owl’s propaganda, the traditional wolves and the progressive sheep quickly emerge as leaders. The two species fight to spread their contradictory visions, pitting the animals against one another, and inadvertently throw the zoo into chaos.

Since mankind first climbed down from the trees, we have looked out to the stars. We looked outward, wondering what secrets to our existence are out there. Professor John Spanks is about to discover the biggest secret the universe has. John has his world turned upside down when he discovers that all this time, we were looking the wrong way!

When you find out your best friend and business partner is secretly sleeping with your wife, it may be time to move on.... From your job and your marriage.... Which is precisely what happened to Jamie Newgent. A change of lifestyle is what’s needed, and a bachelor pad on the fourth floor of a jutting tower provides a new home, a fresh start, and a new chapter in his life.

Libryll’s encounter with Elves and Unicorns when she was a child growing up in the Woodman village of the Eldermark, far to the east, inspired her with a love for adventure, magic, and ancient mysteries. But now, 20 years after the events described in Two Flew at Midnight, New Sylestia and her allies are at war against Orks, Dragons, and the forces of evil. The young Deputy Waldgrave’s family is dead, her village destroyed, and Libryll is on the front lines with her Elven heroines, now not so larger than life, and learning about cost and what heroism is truly about.

Graham Paint is a downsizing consultant, and sick of it. One morning, he misses his bus when he stops to put a strange caterpillar in a matchbox. As the bus passes, he’s shocked to spot himself inside. Like Schrödinger’s Cat in the famous quantum thought experiment, the caterpillar's spawned parallel possibilities. This comic novel explores Graham’s search for a better life among the various overlapping alternatives.

Mex is heading for the Edinburgh Festival in search of Legless. Hot on her heels is Beryl a leader who has already dropped Mex in it once and now plans to do so again. Beryl must make contact with Mex before Mex finds Legless; retrieve the spark plug but not Legless, find a way back to Planet Hy Man, without Legless and save her planet. And all before the Edinburgh Festival finishes! A feat made near impossible when considering her arch-rival Hilda, a woman as ruthless as a politician (and with the same dress sense) has access to every high- tech spying equipment going.

In the shifting sands of the desert, near an unnamed metropolis, there is an institute where various fellows come to undertake projects of great significance. But when our sort-of hero, Percy Frobisher, arrives, surrounded by the simulated environment of the glass-enclosed dome of the Institute, his mind goes completely blank. When he spills something on his uniform - a major faux pas - he learns about a mysterious shop where you can take something, utter the command “same same,” and receive a replica even better than the original.

His Holiness, the Supreme Spiritual Leader of the Galactic Guild, Glup III, an aging podil, is about to be dethroned and podil-napped all in the same day. The MISFITS decide today is a good day to thwart the evil Cardinal Nog’nik’s plans to take over the Galactic Guild and become a living god. The Galactic Guild dispatches their top agents, George Shooters and Sali Terri to restore Glup III to his righteous position and discover how a pair of bumbling pilgrims have obtained the technology necessary to teleport Glup III from the clutches of a deranged despot.

The whole incident kicks off when God says humans worship him, whether they're blessed or unblessed. A super sweet angel hears this claim and reasons, no, man worships God only when the conditions are right. So, the creator of the universe agrees to enter into a bet with this innocent and highly sensitive angel. Muhammad, the greatest mixed martial artist ever born, being a perfect candidate for the experiment, will have his life ruined at the hands of our misunderstood angel only because he has to prove his point with a peanut butter and jelly supreme being.

What if you could make a change to history that would eliminate the Spanish Inquisition, American slavery, World War II, global warming, and an egomaniacal US president who thought he was smart enough to drop nuclear bombs here and there without negative consequences? What if that change also made the United States and five billion people poof from existence? Would you do it?

In this science fiction satire of westerns, after the American West was destroyed in a series of biological disasters, rebuilding it is a lot like building it in the first place, but there are crucial differences. For example, new, partly mechanical cattle with computer brains are called steerites. They speak and sing a lot more than the original steers. Most of the cowboys, outlaws, and lawmen are partly mechanical, too, except for those few humans called control-naturals. That group has to keep all their original equipment, just like the original cowboys.

Dr. Eve Zachara, a smart, sexy, tech executive and expert in martial arts, is on a mission to save the world from total annihilation. In the future, the fight between Apple and Google has grown into a deadly world war. Corporate fighter jets roar over the deserts of Central Asia, machine guns blast in the jungles of Africa, and high above the planet, vast battles are waged by opposing space fleets. Google has vowed to nuke the Earth from their space based nuclear platform, right after Steve Job's new Keynote speech.