Teen Humor

Reanimate yourself for success with advice on life, love, and work from the undead!

He’s barely set foot in the city when someone recognizes him as Archibold Stormblood, the immortal hero of legend. Worse, a lieutenant of the local crime lord overhears the exchange. Not exactly the best way to start a vacation. Charm, his companion, watches with her usual unreadable calm. She doesn’t raise her voice, but her rebukes cut like a blade. To her, his plan is reckless, foolish, and bound to fail.

Move over, Georgia Nicolson. Say good-bye to Geek Girl. Meet Emma Nash. When 16-year-old Emma is ghosted by love of her life Leon Naylor, she does what any normal girl would do. She spends the entire summer lurking in her bedroom, avoiding all human contact (and the shower), surrounded by the collection of Chewits wrappers she saved from packs Leon gave her, back when he actually acknowledged her existence.... But seeing Leon suddenly 'in a relationship' on Facebook spurs Emma into action.

Rosa and Eddie are among hundreds of teens applying to NASA's mysterious Interworlds Agency. They're not exactly sure what the top-secret program entails, but they know they want in. Even if they are selected, they have no idea what lies in store. But first they have to make it through round after round of crazy-competitive testing. And then something happens that even NASA's scientists couldn't predict....

If you want more, you have to give less. That's the secret to dating in high school. By giving as little as they expect to get in return, 17-year-old Aubrey Housing and her three best friends have made it to the second semester of their senior year heartbreak-free. And it's all thanks to a few simple rules: don't commit, don't be needy, and don't give away your heart.

Lex, a teenage Grim Reaper, has the power to damn souls - and it’s getting out of control. Her boyfriend, Driggs, is dead - sort of. She’s a fugitive, on the run from the maniacal new mayor of Croak and the townspeople who want to see her pay the price for her misdeeds. Uncle Mort rounds up the Junior Grims to flee Croak once again, but this time they’re joined by Grotton, the most powerful Grim of all time. Their new mission is clear: Fix his mistakes, or the Afterlife will cease to exist, along with all the souls in it.

Sixteen-year-old Boy’s never left home. When you’re the son of Frankenstein’s monster and the Bride, it’s tough to go out in public, unless you want to draw the attention of a torch-wielding mob. Boy’s only interactions with the world are through the Internet, where he’s a hacker extraordinaire who can hide his hulking body and stitched-together face behind a layer of code. When conflict erupts at home, Boy runs away and embarks on a cross-country road trip with the granddaughters of Jekyll and Hyde, who introduce him to malls and diners, love and heartbreak.

Graham Malone is my roommate, my personal eye candy, the reason I get up in the morning smiling. (That could be from the illicit dreams I have about him, too, I suppose. Let's move on.) He's also beautiful to look at, but his heart is where his true beauty lies. Take away the exterior, and the interior still shines. I love him. I mean, I'm pretty sure I do, having never been in love before.

My name is Caitlin, and up until 48 hours ago, I had never: tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone, or - what? Stolen a convertible? Now I'm in jail, and I have no idea what I'm going to tell: the police, my parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews, and everyone on Twitter. I have just noticed that: my nose is pierced, and I have - wait? Is that a tattoo? I blame one person for this entire insane weekend: my famous cousin.

The truck should have turned Libbi Piper into a Libbi Pancake - and it would have, too, if Aaron hadn't shown up and saved her life. The problem? Aaron's the local Grim Reaper - and he only saved Libbi's life because he needs someone to take over his job. Now, Libbi has two days to choose between dying like she was supposed to, or living a lonely life as Death Incarnate. Talk about a rock and a hard place.

He's not asking for much. All Gregor Maravilla wants to do is feed all of the starving children on the planet. So when he's selected to join Camp Save the World, a special summer program for teenage activists from all over the country to champion their cause, Gregor's sure he's on the path to becoming Someone Great. But then a prize is announced. It will be awarded at the end of summer to the activist who shows the most promise in their campaign.

Get ready to die laughing: This is an outrageously funny ride through the last hours of a teenager’s life as he searches for love, meaning, answers, and (just maybe) a way to live on. Denton Little’s Deathdate takes place in a world exactly like our own except that everyone knows the day on which they will die. For Denton, that’s in just two days - the day of his senior prom. Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life, but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle.

Cram 10 hormonal teens into a spaceship and blast off: that's the premise for the ill-conceived reality show Waste of Space. The kids who are cast know everything about drama - and nothing about the fact that the production is fake. Hidden in a desert warehouse, their spaceship replica is equipped with state-of-the-art special effects dreamed up by the scientists partnering with the shady cable network airing the show.

There was a time when geeky, squeaky-clean Max Kilgore would never lie or steal or even think about murder. Then he accidentally unearths a devil, and Max's choices are no longer his own. The big red guy has a penchant for couch surfing and junk food - and you should never underestimate evil on a sugar high.

Stuck in the wilderness with a bunch of other juvenile delinquents on an "Inward Trek", it doesn’t seem that things could get worse for 17-year-old Nick "Nero" Sole.

But they do. Overnight, Nero’s counselors turn into flesh-eating maniacs and start chowing down on his fellow miscreants - like a monster movie come to life. As in any classic monster flick worth its salted popcorn, colossal carnage sends survivors rabbiting into the woods while the mindless horde of "infects" shambles, moans, and drools behind. These kids have seen the movies; they know the rules. Unfortunately, knowing the rules isn’t going to be enough.

Felton Reinstein has never been good with stress. Which is why he's seriously freaking out. Revealing his college choice on national TV? It's a heart attack waiting to happen. Deciding on a major for the next four years of his life? Ridiculous. He barely even knows who he is outside of football. And so...he embarks on The Epic Quest to Be Meaningful.

Hattie Larken doesn't know if she's ever been real in her life. A compulsive liar with a quick-witted response to everything, she's willing to skate through high school until she can graduate and escape it all: the monotony of this town, the guilt of everything that happened with her dad, and the debt that her mom's dealing with that she feels responsible for. But then Hattie finds out she's dying. Apparently, she was exposed to a parasite because of a mistake her mom's company made. And she's not the only one.

Don't you trust me? I mean, look at me. Blond, blue eyed, the very image of innocence. Pretty enough, if you care about that kind of thing. I don't. But would a normal person switch identities with some wet mess of a girl at the airport just to get her to stop bawling about being separated from her loser boyfriend and sent to live with some distant relatives? Nope, she wouldn't. Yet I did. I'm not as normal as you think. And you'll just have to trust me.

When Summer took a job as a nanny for a couple vacationing in Belize, she imagined it would be a fresh start before leaving for college in the fall. And while she adores her charge, Josh, she can’t say the same for her employers’ oldest son, Bray. He’s cocky, inconsiderate, and makes her feel she’s a chore he has to put up with. Bray had a plan for the summer: party, hang out with friends, and forget all the responsibilities waiting for him back home. But every time he’s forced to be around Summer, her dour, serious mood sets him off.

Warning: Short Stories for Middle School Boys Only, Because Girls Have Cooties! is a captivating anthology of fifteen standalone stories, each one a unique exploration of youth, camaraderie, and the trials and triumphs of growing up. The book, penned by the talented Gene J. Miller, is a delightful blend of Tom Sawyer's mischief, Stand by Me's nostalgia, and The Sandlot's youthful exuberance.