Just so very awful in every possible way.

What's sexy? Variety. Sincerity. Authenticity. Creativity. None of these things are present in this thrown together hodgepodge of bland adolescent cliches. All the male characters have voices that are "nearly a growl". It's all "wet" this, "throbbing" that, all the women are cuvaceous, all the men chiseled. There are plenty of rapey werewolves and darkly seductive vampires here, a few cheerleaders, the occasional rugged barkeeper/biker. It's all stuff you've read before - several times in a hundred other places - and worst of all it's BORING. It's as erotic as stepping on a rake or eating a handful of salt. It's as sexy as lancing a boil or changing the oil on your car. It's the literary equivalent of mayo on wonderbread or a busy weekend at Costco. It's the kind of sex that causes divorce due to tedium. If this gets you excitied, you need to get out more.

And then there's the narration. A great many people have concerns about AI. They call it dehumanizing. The narrator of this collection of inane fantasies reinforces this point with concrete and steel I-beams. She/it gives every indication of being a collection of zeros and ones on a hard drive somewhere. Her intonation is off. She has a lovely posh British accent, but it isn't enough to bridge the Uncanny Valley. Listening to her is like phone sex with a robot telemarketer. Just the thing for the robosexuals among us, less so for the humans.

When I think about having blown off a credit on this, I feel like a protagonist in one of the blander fantasies collected here - dirty, abused, regretful, put upon and taken advantage of. I should have known better. Now I do.

Do not buy. Spend your cash on an old copy of Penthouse and browse the Forum section. Those fantasies are far more erotic than anything you'll find here.

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