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  • Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

  • A Memoir
  • Written by: Matthew Perry
  • Narrated by: Matthew Perry
  • Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (2,971 ratings)

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Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing cover art

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

Written by: Matthew Perry
Narrated by: Matthew Perry
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Publisher's Summary

This program is read by the author.

A MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK BY TIME, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, GOODREADS, USA TODAY, AND MORE!

The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence.

“Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.”

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell—and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it—Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening—as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the audiobook fans have been waiting for.

A Macmillan Audio production from Flatiron Books.

©2022 Matthew Perry (P)2022 Macmillan Audio

What the critics say

2022, Amazon.com Best Books of the Year: Long-listed

2022, Chapters Indigo Best of the Year: Long-listed

2022, Audible.com Best of the Year: Long-listed

"Going into his 'why,' Perry's audiobook is a fascinating listen."- AudioFile

"Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing is a raw, unflinching memoir that took courage to write. As it turns out, Matthew Perry has a lot of courage. He takes us through his addiction, his illness and his paralyzing loneliness. Somehow, during the course of his life, Matthew was able to turn his pain into comedic joy for others, but, he tells us, it was at a cost. Matthew takes us through his 'hell' but doesn’t wallow. Ultimately, this book is filled with hope for the future. If you want to know about who Matthew Perry is, stay away from the rags and read this." —Marta Kauffman, co-creator of the NBC sitcom Friends

What listeners say about Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

so disappointed

I have long been a fan of Perry's work so was eager to dive in and devour his story.
Boy was I disappointed! The book is self aggrandizing and uninspiring. The writing is mediocre and filled with name dropping in a way that let's you know he thinks being around great people will make him seem great.
Even the self depreciation has an air of superiority about it.
I made it halfway when I realized I was no longer excited to listen, instead it felt like a chore as I watched the seconds move so slowly I thought time had stopped.
He is just very unlikable based on his own book.
Thankful Audible offers returns. Not paying for that drivel.

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24 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Wow!

I never knew about Matthew Perry before "Friends". I was in university when the show started and although I liked it, watched all of it and teared up in all the right places (especially at the end of the last episode), it was never my favourite show. I like all the actors and I particularly enjoy memoirs. "Friends" is the reason Matthew Perry is a household name and, tangentially, was a big reason for his substance abuse problems.

I can't say I "loved" this book because the subject matter is so sad. I do think it will help a lot of people. It is an extremely raw and honest look at Matthew Perry by himself; every flaw on display for the world to read about.

Audiobooks are my preferred way of hearing autobiographies/ memoirs. Only the author can properly convey what they're trying to say with the intonation of their voice. In Perry's case, he's not easy to listen to because he's full of disappointment in himself and his past actions. But he's real all right. And this is why I'm giving it 5 stars.

Make no mistake - this book is not really about the show and not really about his lovers. It's about how his severe alcohol and drug addiction affected his work and life. He spills everything about his addiction: how and why it started, how he tried to stop it time and time again, why it continued. It's a deep dive into his most personal feelings and insecurities and his story is so painful at times that I got very emotional listening to it. I can relate to some of it and that stuff is very hard to admit to oneself, much less to publish in a book for the world to read.

I see a lot of reviews hating on him for his comment about Keanu Reeves. So Matthew Perry isn't allowed his own opinion in his own memoir? C'mon! I love Keanu but I'm guessing not everyone in the world feels the same. Should we all be persecuted in the court of public opinion because we don't share the exact same feelings as everyone else about everything else? What world is this? The man wrote an extremely honest memoir... and without a ghost writer. So it's not perfect but it's so open and true and will definitely help a lot of people. Give the man some credit.

I think it was very brave for Perry to put out his memoir. I think part of his reason for writing the book is to help himself continue to remain sober. Now he's accountable to everyone, right? Keep it up, Perry! I hope he does remain sober, find love and has children, which are all his greatest wishes.

Recommended for fans of Friends, Matthew Perry and celebrity memoirs.

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19 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Self Indulgent Drivel

Funny, yes. But Matthew Perry as a person is a self absorbed, poorly educated narcissist. A whiny baby man who blames everyone and everything for his weakness and vacuous superficiality. He is an emotional toddler, and sadly does not seem to have any capacity to self regulate. Sure he is worth millions, but watch his ghostlike appearance on the Friends Reunion. He is a shadow, an empty crust of a human being with false teeth and a pasty pallour. He squandered his talent and he now rattles around his mansion alone. Just say no, kids. Drugs are bad.

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13 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Brave

I appreciate the struggle and the honesty. A very interesting read that will undoubtedly help many others understand the depths and insanity of addiction. I wondered why such a successful man such as Matthew continues to feel the need to name drop, A-list that, top show that, still mentioning how Chandler "changed the way people talked", and so on? I guess one has to be a super fan because that was irritating to me. In my opinion, a humble man who is confident in himself, as he is, whether he's a garbage man or a "famous actor" is the single most attractive quality in the world. (Ah, why do people care or assign so much to a persona created on a screen - it's not even real!? That I will never understand.)

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11 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Matty is still 5 years old… mentally

Have you ever dated a guy who had a life that he should be grateful for but instead complains incessantly like a petulant child who didn’t get his way? No? Listening to this book is like dating that guy. You get to the point where you want to scream, ‘grow up!’

Matthew Perry, or Matty, as he wishes to be known is still stuck at his trauma age of 5 years old, in a mental prison filled with blame and finger-pointing to anyone who:
A. Raised him
B. Treated his pain with pain killers
C. Did any kind of dental work on him
D. Rejected him

Are you quite sure you went to therapy dude? Read up on NPD. Start there. The book is well written, no doubt about it. He’s honest about a lot. He lacks self awareness about a lot.

He’s callous about women, and their dogs. He is bitter and never satisfied. Oh, and he wants a girlfriend, no really, the book ends with his mating call. She’s gotta be brunette, 5’2, and immune to whining to survive a relationship with Matty.

I think women should read this book, it’s a great study in red flags and personalities to be avoided.

Matthew, life is short, enjoy the view you have now, stop moving and please realize the many blessings you were given.

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10 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Respect for this story….

Mathew Perry pours his heart out. It’s a heartbreaking human story. I admire him for writing this. Those who have negative comments are forgetting this is a story of survival and a true desire to help others. Thank you Mathew for sharing this incredible journey.

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9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Train Wreck

Wasn’t a great book yet I also couldn’t stop listening. Not sure if Perry was simply trying to be funny and self deprecating but he comes across highly unlikable. I’m not saying don’t read it but maybe temper your expectations.

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8 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

SAD AND DISAPPOINTING

I hope Matthew makes out okay. The book is confusing as he rarely gives the dates of when things happen. He also seems to think he is far more important in this world than he really is. Waste of a credit.

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6 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Mewling and Self Aggrandizing

This is the first time I've ever read (listened) to an autobiography and liked the author less afterward.

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5 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

More than I expected...

I had quite a few credits piling up and decided to "waste" one on this book. I was expecting the less than subtle, "gossip-py" musings of a washed-up actor trying to make a few extra bucks selling trash to a voyeuristic public.
I'm happy to say that I was wrong. While some stories left me feeling disappointed in what I perceived to be blatant, self-aggrandizing name dropping, I couldn't help but feel pity for a man who was devoured by the vultures in Hollywood.
Overall, it was an interesting and even impactful read. Matthew Perry is now a broken man who is carrying scars, both physical and emotional, from a life devoid of real mentoring.

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4 people found this helpful