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How to Raise an Adult
- Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 12 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Categories: Relationships, Parenting & Personal Development, Parenting & Families
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Publisher's Summary
A provocative manifesto that exposes the harms of helicopter parenting and sets forth an alternate philosophy for raising preteens and teens to self-sufficient young adulthood.
In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.
Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of 20-somethings - and of special value to parents of teens - this audiobook is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.
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What listeners say about How to Raise an Adult
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- M. Vandernoot
- 2018-02-16
exceptional
This book made me cry a lot of times, making me realize that I am one of "those" parents. I am going to change for my son's sanity and my own. I want my son to be an independent, responsible and happy kid. thank you!
2 people found this helpful
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- Angie
- 2021-08-06
Great insight
This was a well laid out parenting book that really opens your eyes to the challenges faced by parents and children. My only complaint was the very heavy emphasis on post secondary issues and the pressures striving for that can cause. Parenting is a little more multi faceted than only wanting your children to get into a great uni or college.
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- Pen
- 2021-01-19
Could have been more compact
The book is too long given the content. Could have been more compact but contains good advice
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- Anonymous User
- 2020-09-03
Amazing book
A brilliant guideline for parents to raise their offspring accordingly. I have jotted down a lot of notes and am happy for listening to it.
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- Angela O’Hara
- 2020-01-23
Excellent
Must read for parents of teens!! This audiobook is comprehensive and hits the mark! The cult of overparenting has to stop.
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- Maribel P.
- 2019-03-23
A must read for every parent...
It really help me understand how parents can make the difference on raising happy and independent adults versus anxious and dependent children...
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- Justin
- 2015-12-16
Sometimes it's okay to preach to the choir
I don't necessarily think that everyone who starts reading this book will feel the same. As she mentions, just the fact that we seek out these parental help books, may actually be an indicator that we are worrying too much and over acting or reacting to what we should just recognize as life.
Before I was even half way through this book, I was already recommending it to family and friends. This was probably the first time reading a parenting related book that didn't try and make me feel guilty for not doing more, but rather feel a little silly for thinking that I should. And understandably so. This was a great illustration of the parenting approach we share, and weren't able to put into words.
We, as parents, have been repeatedly asked how we got so lucky. We were even told by someone close to us, I thought you were doing things all wrong, but you seemed to have fixed your mistakes. I went ahead sent them a link to this book too, btw.
This book didn't just give us a pat on the back though. It gave me tangible perspectives and approaches to address the milestones we have not yet reached, resources and advice to provide our child so they can make their own educated decisions and we can focus on our true value as parents and avoid ill fated over involvement.
38 people found this helpful
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- Savy shopper
- 2016-06-02
Target Audience- Upper-Middle Class
Most of the book focuses on issues of parenting from the perspective of Upper-Middle Class Americans. Those from working class families will find about half of the book very useful. They will find the other half describing problems of which they will not be able to identify with; or, of which they would love to have.
58 people found this helpful
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- Mana
- 2019-06-29
A loooong paper that doesn't say how to do it
I can't believe I actually listened to this. this book has a nice idea behind it but it doesn't talk much about it.
It spends hours saying what parents do wrong. With too many names and examples. Then maybe an hour of what to do to make it better!
It talks A LOT about colleges, admissions, which ones are better or worse. Like that's all people should (or shouldn't) think about when raising kids.
It feels like someone found loads of data about a topic, wrote a loooong essay about it and then you paid to listen to it.
16 people found this helpful
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- Maria Mercedes Abdo
- 2017-07-10
Excellent advice
For someone who isn't raising children in the US it may be hard to relate to the large portion of this book written on the American post-secondary schools.
Chapters 12 to 18 offered excellent advice and insight. I've already started implementing some of the advice from this book into my parenting techniques and see benefits already! I had no idea my 5 year old was ready for chores, responsibilities, and more independence! Not to mention the amazing things that have come form him since asking critical thinking questions.
A great read, would recommend to any and all.
9 people found this helpful
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- Lisa Wells
- 2015-10-28
solid advice, even if we don't want to hear it
Would you listen to How to Raise an Adult again? Why?
Yes - to take notes!
What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Raise an Adult?
Discussing parenting styles and assessing parenting to date, with my 17 year old as we listened while driving to visit prospective colleges
7 people found this helpful
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- ginger
- 2016-09-13
A book that should have been a Facebook post
By the end of the book you'll be certain of just one thing: the author was a dean at Stanford. She's super proud of that. Beyond that, read the chapter titles and you'll get all the goodness the book. I can't say I disagree with anything she says but the incessant whining about it was unbearable. The near explosive attention this book has received tells me there must be a lot of people who haven't figured this out on their own yet. Perhaps I'm just lucky to have struggled with my young son in our failing education institution and applied my rebellious, counter-culture character to overcoming the BS early on. I have no doubt that there are parents who don't get it. I know many affluent parents that think success is something you purchase for your kids while their teenagers still wet the bed. But the answer is not to return to the 70s, ditch car seats and smoke around our kids. There was a little too much nostalgia pumped into the room for my stomach.
So, yeah, encourage your kids and let them fail sometimes. Great. Moving on...
46 people found this helpful
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- JonnyB
- 2020-05-12
focus on college
As a new stepfather of a second grader, I bought this book to help me with my own journey. The author is well-educated and equipped for authoring this book. She clearly writes it from her own perspective as a parent, a dean, and most importantly a Palo Alto resident. The entire theme of the book seems to focus on raising teenagers in preparation for college, specificallyelitecolleges. There are some good tidbits for younger children, and maybe in her neighborhoods College Prep really does start at 8 years old (or earlier). But from here where I stand that's good advice for the future, but not something we think about now. I found myself struggling to get through the second half of the book listening intently for information that might be useful at my stage and in my environment.
6 people found this helpful
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- Alex Lee
- 2016-05-17
An Advocate of the Mediocrity Movement
The message is simple. Overbearing helicopter parents leads to indecisive, weak children. The premise is well supported by both studies and anecdotes that the author as a Stanford and Harvard trained attorney, and former freshman Dean at Stanford relates.
The author narrates the book as well as any professional actor ever could.
My issue is this: It's easy to tell others to take it easy when you're already at Stanford. While it's unfortunate that students are suffering psychologically because of pressures from the school and from their parents, this is no reason they should accept a lower level of achievement.
Pressure to make a deadline, perform an operation properly, etc is just part of life. Coping with it in the very safe and grade inflation filled confines of Stanford is ideal. Accepting less than you are capable of because it's too hard is an attitude that I cannot accept and is a greater symptom of the Participation Trophy Movement that is common in America these days.
There were many times in my 13 year medical training career that I was frustrated and considered leaving. This book is filled with the justification I would give my parents if I made such a decision. Fortunately, I did not.
30 people found this helpful
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- Dr. Erica L. Wagner
- 2015-11-02
Required for parents and higher education stakeholders
Best book I've read on parenting and the US complex that has become the standard college admissions process. My daughter is 5 and it was not too early to consider how I will handle the tough issues raised by the author. Brava!
8 people found this helpful
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- Chris Ziomek
- 2021-04-18
Too much focus on college entrance
I understand that the author is an educator, but there is much more to raising adults than helping them make good higher education decisions
3 people found this helpful