• I Love You but I Don’t Trust You

  • The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship
  • Written by: Mira Kirshenbaum
  • Narrated by: Emily Durante
  • Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 2015-12-27
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Tantor Audio
  • 5 out of 5 stars (10 ratings)

Price: CDN$ 26.93

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Publisher's Summary

Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged.

In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.

©2012 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2016 Tantor

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Great Listen

Such an eye opener...my thoughts, views and actions had already changed before I even finished. Thank you Mira

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  • mizzaga
  • VERNAL, UT
  • 2017-01-13

Amazing advice

This woman is incredibly insightful and a beautiful soul. She gave me practical advice and tools for deep introspection.

As for the reviews about her swearing....

Effing grow up. It was appropriate when used. She identified with my emotions through the use of those words. Your offense to language is NOT a reason to disregard this amazing work.

21 of 21 people found this review helpful

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  • Carol Crawley
  • 2016-12-12

Very eye opening!

This book really helped me understand there are different kinds of betrayal that eat away at trust. I always new I didn't feel safe in my relationship of 26 years, but I couldn't put my finger on it. This book opened my eyes and confirmed my feelings, helped me put a label to what I was feeling which also confirmed that no I am not crazy and no I am not being unreasonable. I read this book in 3 days! By the way I'm an MFT and I will definitely be using what I learned from this book with my clients. So so good!

15 of 15 people found this review helpful

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  • jessica roth
  • 2017-08-11

useful for many situations and from both sides

This book is for mistrust in all types of situations (secrecy, cheating, lies, hidden financial situations....all mistrust) . Also covers the perspectives of both parties .....the person who committed the mistrust and the person who lost trust. Helps make you feel normal and not alone and tells you how to rebuild or leave.

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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  • ca4ukinwa
  • Graham, WA
  • 2017-05-24

Restoring Trust is Hard

As a repeat offender of losing trust with the one I love, this book helped me understand the patterns of my behavior and the responses from partner. It takes work and isn't easy but the author gives tangible suggestions on steps you can take to start building again.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Lauri M.
  • 2016-12-14

I'm a better person since reading this.

Would you listen to I Love You but I Don’t Trust You again? Why?

I started readying this book because I felt betrayed. As the words continued, it was like a light bulb went off. If I want to be able to trust again, then I really need to change the way I looked and acted about the situation. I completely surprised my husband by this and he is skeptical still, but by changing the way I reacted to things (the opposite of what I would normally do) I found that I could be more open and understanding to what happened. I figured it would take a long time to get over, but it didn't and I am much happier because of it. I shared this book with my husband so hopefully it helps him as well. I highly recommend this book.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Sebastian Korwal
  • 2017-12-06

Defends the cheater/betrayer, blames the victim

Horrid book that repeatedly defends the actions of the cheater/betrayer, glossing over it as a "mistake" that should just be forgiven and forgotten, while downplaying the deep hurt and brokenheartedness of the one who was betrayed.

I found this author's approach to betrayal and shattered trust appalling as entirely insensitive. She even justifies reasons the person betrayed! Like the story of Rebecca, a busy lawyer working long hours, and her husband Daniel, a musician and composer who "felt lonely, missing Rebecca" when he was at home giving private guitar lessons... And then having sex with one of his female guitar students. Boohoo! But he was so LONELY....

Rubbish!! I seriously want to smack this author for her pathetic attitudes.

Returned the book today. No more.

18 of 21 people found this review helpful

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  • annonymous
  • 2018-07-22

for betrayed women - not men!

good content and generally solid advice. however, it was pretty upsetting to always hear her describe the betrayer as male and the betrayed as female. ... some of her examples are the other way around, but anything about infidelity or anything really serious is set up as the man betraying the woman. -- also, all of her generic examples use the pronoun set as male=betrayer. ...

as a betrayeD man, this was hard to hear over and over again.


8 of 9 people found this review helpful

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  • Karina
  • 2017-07-05

It was very helpful and I loved the examples

Would you listen to I Love You but I Don’t Trust You again? Why?

The book explained a variety of different types of trust issues and represented both point of views (that of the person without trust and their partner). Great examples were given. I recommended it to my sister, she found it helpful. I also had my partner listen to parts of the audio so that he could better understand things from my POV. He found it eye opening.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Shopper
  • 2019-01-16

Solid Advice, Well Delivered

As someone trying to fix the trust I’ve broken, this book gave me: great insight into what my s/o feels, tactics to help sort things back out, stories and examples to help me understand and apply the advice, a better sense of hope, knowledge of what we’ve accidentally done incorrectly or to make things worse, and generally a wonderful guide on how to reassure, appreciate, help, listen to, trust, love, and break into a happier chapter of life with my s/o. I’ve marked many places in this book and taken down many notes to reflect on and work into my day to day life. -Side note: I saw one review that said something about the author ‘defending’ betrayers and I completely disagree. I think that review was written by someone deep in the understandable anger and hurt that comes with a betrayal of any kind and what they viewed as ‘defense’ was just a simple reasoning behind why the person in one story betrayed his wife. It was not a defense or an excuse by any means; all betrayals of any kind have some sort of ‘why’ behind them -even though that ‘why’ should have and could have been handled in a much better way. I never once felt either unjustly attacked or defended while reading this and I want my s/o to listen to this book as well as I think they could actually relate quite well and learn a lot too. ☺️

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Abby A.
  • 2018-05-12

Thankful to have read this

This book was so easy to listen to and absorb the information on my hour long commute to work each day. I feel like I learned so much about my own trust issues and how to enable and heal trust in relationships. I feel like I can be a better partner after this book, now I just need to get my partner to listen to it! :) I am tempted to buy the paper version so I can have it for quick reference. I would recommend this book to anyone who has experienced a betrayal or is dealing with any sort of trust issue with their partner. Many relationship problems can be rooted with trust issues and as she says in the book, love is nothing without trust.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful