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Siblings Without Rivalry
- How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
- Narrated by: Kathe Mazur
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Categories: Relationships, Parenting & Personal Development, Parenting & Families
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Publisher's Summary
When parenting authorities Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish sat down to write the national best seller How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, they found they could not contain their chapter on sibling rivalry. No matter how much they tried to pare down their advice, they found the subject inexhaustible - and parents agreed!
Siblings Without Rivalry guides the way to family peace and tranquility with humor and compassion for both parents and children. Action oriented and easy to understand, it's packed with sensitive yet sensible ways to turn quarreling siblings and frustrated parents into an open, communicative family.
What listeners say about Siblings Without Rivalry
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 2019-01-18
some good content and valid points
the various voices the narrator uses is not necessary and a little annoying. much longer than it needs to be,could be much more concise. some good points and content.
1 person found this helpful
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- Jay
- 2018-05-14
Excellent ideas, if...
Excellent ideas, if you put aside the melodramatic narrator. Would consider buying more of these authors’ books.
1 person found this helpful
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- Cindy
- 2021-02-22
Une lecture très révélatrice! 🌟
Une lecture délectable que tous les parents de fratries devraient lire. J'ai d'abord tenu à le lire pour remplir mon coffre à outils de maman, mais force est d'admettre que ce livre m'a aidé à comprendre beaucoup de choses sur ma relation avec mon frère et ma soeur. Faites-vous un cadeau : LISEZ CE LIVRE. Que vous soyez parent ou non!
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- Esin
- 2021-01-05
great knowledge
i wish it wasnt written as a memoirs of a taught class, but the information given here was pretty good. my children are still young 4.5 and 15 months old. they dont fight yet. i will be ready once they do though! also, i started the mirroring techniques on my 4.5 year old already and he seems happier. i went from 'mean mommy' to 'i love you mommy'. we still do the same activities, i just force him less to enjoy it. all it took was for me to repeat what he feels, and we both found out he is scared to try new things but enjoys it once he gets into it. this technique definitely helps a kid feel understood by his/her parent.
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- Amazon Customer
- 2020-11-26
Great for having a second child
The book prepared me for the birth of my second child. It helped me understand the feelings of my first, and helped me with his unacceptable behaviours. Very recommended
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- Amazon Customer
- 2020-02-24
Great read
Good investment towards being a better parent. This is the third book I have listened two by these two authors and each of them have held their own key values.
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- Tracy
- 2015-05-20
Amazing! Fast results, cannot believe it.
What made the experience of listening to Siblings Without Rivalry the most enjoyable?
It was easy to follow and gave great examples. Looking at the parents early lives helped. I listen while I drive and one of the times my boys were in the vehicle with me and they did not want me to turn it off. The enjoyed it also!
What other book might you compare Siblings Without Rivalry to and why?
Nothing I have ever read has been this good, on dealing with siblings.
Which scene was your favorite?
It had many good parts and all worked together for the good of my boys.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
How they compare the new sibling scenario to inviting another husband or wife into the situation. That really made a difference for me. If my husband got another wife how would I feel, how would I like sharing my things with her, how would I deal with sharing his attention. Nicely done! I cannot explain it so that all can understand but if you have issues between siblings THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU!
Any additional comments?
It has made my home a nicer place to be. We talk it out and apply what I learned from the book and it is unbelievable. I am so happy. I am not even all the way through but it is that good, already!
11 people found this helpful
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- Erin B
- 2019-01-30
Kind kids who Squabble? This won’t help...
This book is really for really severe (in my opinion) cases of sibling fighting and rivalry. Children who are already calling one another names and using physical violence against one another. Even when the examples in the book were “successful” the siblings went from pummeling each other to calling one another “Stupid, retarded, wish you were dead, hate you, you should have never been born...” I’m sorry, but that’s still unacceptable behavior in my book and not what I would have ever stood for before. In addition, there are tips like “stop calling your spouse names and the children will follow your example.” Why would I be calling my spouse insulting names in front of my children? How dysfunctional is that?? If that is happening in a home, I can see why the kids would feel insecure and scared and lash out at their siblings to direct their fear somewhere “safe.” :/ Anyway, if you have generally kind, polite, loving children who occasionally fight over a doll or pinch their sister or leave the other child out when a friend comes over to play... this isn’t the book for you. There isn’t anything to help with that which, I have now learned, is relatively minor disrespect and rivalry. Upside, I feel lucky that’s all we have. Downside, I hope the rest of America isn’t really living in homes with parents who call each other “stupid” in front of their children and the kids mimic them 😳
20 people found this helpful
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- Amy
- 2015-05-27
Quick - Listen to it before school gets out!
Would you consider the audio edition of Siblings Without Rivalry to be better than the print version?
I was able to get through it more quickly by listening to it.
Have you listened to any of Kathe Mazur’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
no
Any additional comments?
I'm so happy my book club decided to read Siblings without Rivalry before school gets out. This title has been languishing on my to read list for awhile. I thought I would get some tips on how to stop the bickering, but the book is more than that. It isn't just for parents. I was constantly reflecting on my own upbringing. I had a real "moment" with this book. I clearly see why I have the relationship that I do with my brother. Moving forward I'm so motivated to change my approach to my kids.
5 people found this helpful
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- Annie
- 2018-01-24
Very helpful
What was one of the most memorable moments of Siblings Without Rivalry?
The fact that the adults parents, while trying to help their children, got closure from their own hurts and emotional baggage, that developed years ago, from their experience with sibling rivalry.
What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?
Let the hurting child express their negative feelings to you. Of course you don't agree, but it will help your child, because accepting and validating, helps those negative feelings go away.
Any additional comments?
This book taught me to forget the classic one liners, such as, 'I love you both the same" as they are NOT helpful!
4 people found this helpful
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- D. Winn
- 2017-11-12
Doesn't Get to the Heart
My review is written from a Christian perspective. If you're secular, disregard me. But, this book has many Biblical references and is popular in many Christian communities, so I don't think my opinions are irrelevant. (There are 2 authors but I'll be referring to them mostly in the singular as they do in their text). This book definitely offers many great situational solutions; ways to defuse conflict and listen in ways that make kids feel validated, mostly. However, an underlying theme is that you shouldn't discourage a child from expressing extremely negative things about others, and that some children just aren't meant to like each other. No unreasonable or viscous thought is off limits; we're told to never correct or invalidate any of these statements and feelings. Suzy wants to burn Sally alive and watch birds pick at her crisped carcass because she got a better grade on a test? We're not supposed to challenge that! The proof is in the pudding though... so has it led to their kids being shining examples of sibling harmony? No, she (they) are very honest in admitting that their kids are as cruel and violent as anyone else's (which is fair enough!). At one point, one of the authors recounts an incident where her older son heated up a spoon on the hot coil of a stove, and then burnt his younger sibling on the neck with it. That's terrifying and cruel, NOT just normal kid stuff, and it was a critical moment when the authors lost some credibility as 2nd generation parenting experts for me. If things in their homes aren't exceptionally better than Joe-shmoe, whyyyy am I paying for their advice? Where is the fruit of their wise guidance? The authors don't claim to have a solution to correcting the HEART of the issues between siblings... and that's where Siblings Without Rivalry fails. They just provide really great tips for managing one crisis situation after another. The book left me feeling hopeless, as the main takeaway is that we as parents are powerless to address the REAL issues of our kids' sinful hearts (pride, anger, selfishness, jealousy, etc), and instead should focus on cultivating skills to merely survive until the kids either learn to like each other, or are grown and don't have to live together any more. Ultimately, I felt this book actually encouraged very self-centered thinking in our kids through the constant validation (to be clear, they don't say to AGREE with your kids, but to mostly offer generic, non-corrective acknowledgement of what they've said, such as " wow, yeah, I'm hearing that you really want to burn Sally alive!". To an angry person, seemingly-neutral acknowledgement like that is as good as approval). A home (or world) full of self-centered people isn't a very enjoyable place to live, and I'm not merely aiming for "surviving until they're off to college"... so this was a disappointing read.
Some valuable solutions here for conflict management, but gets us no closer to cracking into the heart of our kids' conflicts or teaching them to be gracious and Christlike with one another.
64 people found this helpful
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- Matt
- 2020-08-04
Very Helpful Different Perspective
I liked it a lot. Great techniques to use. Only complaint is biblical scripture citations. Irrelevant to non-believers.
2 people found this helpful
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- J. Fittkau
- 2016-11-07
Really helpful
This book made me see sibling relationship in a new light. My children's as well as my own.
2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 2019-08-14
one of best guides how to parent better
also as a MD(er+gp), I can recommend it as a good receipe how to avoid growing up sane and mentally intact people and how to avoid growing up people with anxiety, depression and other mental disease that are very common nowadays. also recommend reading Patty Wipfler'Listen', Alfie Kohn Punished by Rewards and unconditional parenting+ Daniel Siegel's books on The topic
1 person found this helpful
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- Yuhua Zhou
- 2018-01-21
Great book! Great stories and problem solving skill
Very useful skills. It’s a parents hand book. Audiobook is even better for busy parents who barely have time to read. I finished the book while driving, walking, doing exercises!
1 person found this helpful
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- Darrell Moore
- 2016-09-06
Great for Foster Care
What did you love best about Siblings Without Rivalry?
I liked the various perspectives of parents that attempted methods on their children and the results that came back.
What about Kathe Mazur’s performance did you like?
I thought for the material that was being delivered she did a great job with kids voices, parents voices, and the counselor.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
No, it has a lot to offer but it would take me a few sittings to complete this and I am going through it a second time.
Any additional comments?
I use the information in this book to assist with parenting foster children as well as my own kid. I find that the information it provided was well worth the time and it has also brought insight into my own relationship with my sibling.
1 person found this helpful
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Story
- Julie
- 2021-02-07
Fantastic book!!!
I absolutely loved that book. Although I had initially bought it to tackle my fears as I was expecting our second child, I actually learned so much about my own sibling relationships, and it opened my eyes on so many things. Thank you, Adele & Elaine!!