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  • The Kiss Quotient

  • A Novel
  • Written by: Helen Hoang
  • Narrated by: Carly Robins
  • Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (316 ratings)
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The Kiss Quotient

Written by: Helen Hoang
Narrated by: Carly Robins
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Publisher's Summary

A cosmopolitan title to get excited about in 2018! 

Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases - a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with as well as way less experience in the dating department than the average 30-year-old. It doesn't help that she has Asperger's and that French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. She decides that she needs lots of practice - with a professional - which is why she hires escort Michael Phan. 

The Vietnamese-Swedish stunner can't afford to turn down Stella's offer, and he agrees to help her check off all the boxes on her lesson plan - from foreplay to more-than-missionary position... Before long, Stella not only learns to appreciate his kisses but also to crave all of the other things he's making her feel. Their no-nonsense partnership starts making a strange kind of sense. And the pattern that emerges convinces Stella that love is the best kind of logic...

©2018 Helen Hoang (P)2018 Dreamscape Media, LLC

Featured Article: Best Romantic Audiobooks to Fall in Love With


There's hardly a genre better suited for audio than romance books. Whether it's a tender story of first love, or a passionate affair, listening to narrators at the top of their game carefully unspooling the threads of a love story is our favourite way to consume these enchanting stories. You'll find sexy tropes, diverse and distinct characters ready to fall in love, and great, innovative rom-com audio recordings with standout performances in this list. These are the best romance books, from classic tales to contemporary romance via erotica and fairy tale love. Happily ever after? No spoilers here, thank you very much.

What listeners say about The Kiss Quotient

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Reads Like Fan Fiction

Had a really hard time getting through this one. The narration is really monotonous (likely a purposeful choice to convey the rigidity of one of the main characters) but it made it really difficult to maintain my focus. As another reviewer mentioned, the storyline and writing style made it feel like I was listening to fan fiction. There are not many Audible purchases that I've regretted but this is definitely one of them.

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

love love love

I'm usually pretty picky with single narration romance novels, but this narrator did an amazing job of conveying both the male and female characters with distinct voices, and character traits. I listen to this entire book in 2 days. It was intoxicatingly sweet, exceptionally sexy, and so much fun. I squealed a few times and gasped out loud more than once.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Romantic novel with a lot of details!!!

Must use headphones to listen to the racy details in almost every chapter. A nice and light novel.

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Steamy

Very descriptive, felt like I was in the story. Narrator did a great job with the different characters.

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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When looking for lewd book as a neurodivergent

This book was amazing. I didn't want it to end. The ending was a little cliché, and a bit of a struggle (just communicate already!) it was only a bit of a struggle but not painful. But a great start of audio books for me. Highly recommend for those looking for a dirty/hot book with a story!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

my first romance novel as a guy -- loved it

this was my first romance novel ive read -- im a guy in his 30s. i was so entertained and got a lot out of it. Audiobooks are a great format for this genre

it starts to get really good at chapter 15.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Great listen!

I really enjoyed this book. I got through it really quickly. I’ve listened to other books read by this voice actress, she’s really great.

The story was interesting, different from every other romance. Highly recommend!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Solid 4!

Cute story, the characters are likeable, and the relationship is romcom cute! My only complaint is the ending is a little TOO convenient, the happy ending is very cliche.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • AS
  • 2023-03-26

Neurodivergent + Steamy Romance = Melting Heart

This is the first neurodivergent novel I've come across where it captures all of their inner thoughts authentically. It's helped me understand some of my friends a little better. I love how the story draws you in with the steamy scenes and then dives deeper into the heavier parts of the plot. The family values and dynamics are the parts that make my heart melt.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A win for neurodivergent women!

Loved having an ND protagonist who was well portrayed and multi-faceted. I wept during the first half of the book listening to this woman have her companion respect her boundaries, show patience and compassion, never patronize, and overall just be a stellar man. And more, he doesn’t ask her to change/mask/integrate. She it completely accepted as-is. Desirable, sexy, wanted…stims and all.

It’s also really well narrated. Kudos to the actors who never enter caricatures. A refreshing addition to the genre.

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  • Emily Kenny
  • 2018-08-22

It's a lot...

the story was really cute ,but theres a lot of descriptive sex, and not the creative kind. I've read other books with the "hot damn" description but this one basically the first half of the book is constant sex scenes. the second half isn't as bad, but it is a little excessive for my taste. If you like that kind of stuff, it's great, but I almost had to give up. narrator is awesome though.

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221 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Beckersly
  • 2018-08-15

I'd buy these two undies.

This book was a fun romance to romp through. I went in expecting it to be similar to The Rosie Project...that it is not! It's got some pretty vividly explicit sex scenes. Those don't bother me but can be a shocker if you aren't expecting them to pop up.
I also felt like this book portrayed both instalove and slow burn at the same time. Not being a fan of instalove at all, I greatly enjoyed the ways that also made this a slow burn romance.
It's definitely a quick one to get through and lots of fun getting there (expect several chuckles along the way!).

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81 people found this helpful

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  • Jessica
  • 2018-06-12

Loved this!

This was a new author for me and a new narrator. Both were so fun with this book. I loved the characters and thought they were well rounded. The narrator made their voices come to life. I will gladly find both again and try more.

I don't speak Vietnamese, so unsure if things are pronounced correctly, but seeing the ebook and listening made me glad to know how to not pronounce things.

The secondary characters were so much fun and I am curious about possibly learning more about Michael's family.

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41 people found this helpful

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  • A. Bertaux
  • 2019-02-07

Enjoyable and Sexy

This book could also be titled "Autistic Woman Has Sex," and sex is about 60% of the book. While sex is a key part of the development of the relationship and the scenes were well written and well performed, I admit there were one or two times I was waiting for the sex to end so we could get back to the plot. This is bc Hoang created two compelling characters here, and Stella herself provides such a freshness of perspective on falling in love. P.S. If you like this one, check out Courtney Milan's Trade Me.

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29 people found this helpful

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  • HarleyGirl
  • 2018-11-27

Quirky sweet socially challenged nerd + tormented, hot Korean hunk= HEA

New author to me, Helen Hoang, offered me some fresh elements- at least unusual in that I can’t remember reading a romance where these characteristics were central to the h or H. Stella, the h is a really endearing character- an econometrics professional who is extremely successful in her field, probably partially due to her hyper focus on her job because her Aspergers makes a social life problematic- and a love life and dating has been confusing and unsatisfying too. Missed signals are just one problem. But now, to complicate matters, as she neared 30 her Mom has expressed her hope for grandchildren and has been pressing for her to date more. Stella’s parents are not a problem- they seem supportive in their way and she loves them and sees them often. So, she just would like to make them happy- if only she could figure out how. A chance conversation in her office inspires her and she bravely comes up with a Plan. On the face of it, a goofy plan...but intellectually... probably pretty sound! She will hire a tutor who will teach her and help her figure out what has been going wrong in her relationships with men in the past. Then she can fix it, and because he will be objective and a professional there won’t be emotions involved. Enter Michael. Yummmm...Michael. Google Daniel Denny (if you don’t already know who this hunky part, I think, Korean actor- “Criminal Minds” among many others). His reasons for becoming an “ escort” are very complex but she still got lucky when she selected him to teach her. Their story...learning about them, their families, their backstories, quirks- all of it- is very satisfying. Interesting characters, interesting issues, interesting resolutions. In typical plot device fashion, I didn’t agree with every choice...but how that initial simple agreement went through a metamorphosis as the journey progressed and actually taught both of them lessons - about themselves and their lives and about Choices- was satisfying. I also liked that the author presented the characters main issues unapologetically- never wimping out. I kept going to the end and you probably will to. Try it!

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24 people found this helpful

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  • Ginger
  • 2018-06-21

Wonderful! You’ll love it!

Such a sweet story, interesting characters and a nice departure from the usual plot lines.
This author is new to me, and now I want to see if she’s written anything else.
I highly recommend!

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20 people found this helpful

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  • Jenna Narayan
  • 2018-06-22

Loved it

Superb, feel good romance that one can connect to, appreciate and dream about.

Highly recommend this novel, especially to fans of the hating game whore looking for similarly moving novels.

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18 people found this helpful

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  • Susan
  • 2018-12-22

Just couldn't get into it

I'm surprised by so many positive reviews. I listened to about 4 hours and gave up. I didn't find Stella endearing or Michael's instant attraction believable. I'm not bothered by descriptive scenes, I just didn't care about the characters. I love books with flawed characters, but this missed the mark for me.

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17 people found this helpful

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  • Quino
  • 2018-08-19

This is NOT "The Rosie Project"

Someone said that this was reminiscent of "The Rosie Project." That series was charming, insightful and believable. This book was none of those things. This was more 50 Shades of Stupid meets autism meets a 1960s Disney fairy tale which is not a winning combo.

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16 people found this helpful

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  • Patricia Villali Koett
  • 2018-08-29

Very refreshing, swoony & romantic! A+

This has been a delight of an audiobook!! The story is such a great romance, but it is the characters, how they engage with each other and how the author was able to show so much of their inner thoughts that made them seem real making this story unique and wonderfully refreshing! The narration is OUTSTANDING!! Carly Robins has always been a favorite of mine but she really delivered a solid performance filled with humor, heart, compassion and great tempo. Deserving of all the accolades!! A solid romance well worth the hype.

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13 people found this helpful