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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated
Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
Categories: Self-Help, Relationships
4 out of 5 stars (12 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.          

This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.          

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

©1999, 2015 John Mordechai Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver (P)2020 Tantor

What members say

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great book for anyone

This book reveals key concepts that make or break marriages. I especially liked the concept of "Four horsemen of the apocalypse" that sabotages the conversation and the relationship with the partner. I think many insights I learned from this book can be applied to other types of relationships, not just marriages. So this book is great for anyone who wants to develop a lasting and meaningful relationship - which is everyone. I appreciated the example dialogues as well as the narrator's attempts to differentiate the male and the female speakers.
This book's biggest weakness was the "workbook" portion. At the end of each chapter, the narrator read every single item on the checklist and the options. I thought this worked for some lists, such as the list of phrases that show appreciation to the partner, and the list of phrases that clearly signal repair attempts. But I found that they dragged the overall pace of the book. Towards the end I had a hard time concentrating on the words even though they were some of the best parts of the book. "The Men's Guide to Women" was written by the same author and read by the same narrator. I enjoyed that book because the jokes were better and it had "cheat sheets for heroes" at the end of each chapter that was easy to understand and remember. I was able to focus on the content until the very end. I wonder if a similar formatting could have been applied here, and leave those workbooks as PDF attachments.
At any rate, the key concepts are clearly explained and I learned a lot from this book. I highly recommend it.

1 person found this helpful

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would be much better as a paperback copy

struggled to finish it but desperate to fix my relationship. narrator was okay, could have been better

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  • Christi Thorn
  • 2020-02-19

The Bible of Relationship books

I’ve read a lot of relationship books, but this one was by far my favorite. While it is not one of the most entertaining I’ve ever read, it is hands down the most useful. This book is literally THE handbook for a successful marriage and John Gottman’s advice is GOLD. The book really forces you to take a good, hard look at your relationship, it’s strengths and weaknesses, and focus on improving the areas that need improvement. Although, I will admit, it was not always a comfortable feeling reading and rating my relationship at times, it was extremely helpful and in turn made me realize my relationship’s strengths as well. I believe it has set my husband and I, two very new newlyweds,up for solid, long term success .

3 people found this helpful

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  • Rebecca D.
  • 2020-03-02

Topics hard to hear but set me in the right direction

When I first started the book I was hopeful but I realized I was the cause of much of my marital trouble. This was very hard to hear, I knew it was true but the affirmation is hard. It did set me in the right direction to change. Something I had never been able to do on my own. Many other books try to convey this but this one worked for me and I am grateful.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2020-05-15

Buy hard copy

So many lists! Ugh. Have pen and paper ready to take lotttsssss of list notes.

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  • Joel Dormer
  • 2020-05-11

good read for good marriages

This should be required reading for all couples before getting married. A great step forward in understanding why relationships can be so hard and how to make them work.

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  • SSS
  • 2020-05-08

Must read for everyone

If you are in or planning to be in a relationship. These principles should lead you. My humble opinion is that all modern relationship should be based on these principles.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-04-22

good book,things to think about, boring to listen

good helpful book. I found it hard to listen to. Readers voice is very emotionless and at times sounds machined or computerized

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  • Andrew Laimon
  • 2020-04-15

Fantastic!!!

Another very informative Gottman book, I'm excited to apply this to my life! Thank you!

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  • gladys michelle mazariegos
  • 2020-04-05

Informative

Enjoyed the book and learned from it. Great everyday life examples and evidence based information.

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  • Kyla
  • 2020-03-29

So grateful to have this understanding

I sure am regretting so much time energy and money invested on other "tactics" and not this valuable substantive understanding. Moving forward Gottman's work will be with me every step of the way.