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Publisher's Summary

Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.          

This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.          

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

©1999, 2015 John Mordechai Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver (P)2020 Tantor

What listeners say about The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

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    5 out of 5 stars

Great book for anyone

This book reveals key concepts that make or break marriages. I especially liked the concept of "Four horsemen of the apocalypse" that sabotages the conversation and the relationship with the partner. I think many insights I learned from this book can be applied to other types of relationships, not just marriages. So this book is great for anyone who wants to develop a lasting and meaningful relationship - which is everyone. I appreciated the example dialogues as well as the narrator's attempts to differentiate the male and the female speakers.
This book's biggest weakness was the "workbook" portion. At the end of each chapter, the narrator read every single item on the checklist and the options. I thought this worked for some lists, such as the list of phrases that show appreciation to the partner, and the list of phrases that clearly signal repair attempts. But I found that they dragged the overall pace of the book. Towards the end I had a hard time concentrating on the words even though they were some of the best parts of the book. "The Men's Guide to Women" was written by the same author and read by the same narrator. I enjoyed that book because the jokes were better and it had "cheat sheets for heroes" at the end of each chapter that was easy to understand and remember. I was able to focus on the content until the very end. I wonder if a similar formatting could have been applied here, and leave those workbooks as PDF attachments.
At any rate, the key concepts are clearly explained and I learned a lot from this book. I highly recommend it.

12 people found this helpful

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Great!

Great content. It would be nice to have the physical book now because their are so many questions to work through.

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Good work but not good as audio

There’s tons of check lists and self tests to go through, so having the narrator reading out endless lists of questions and possible answers is ridiculous unless you absolutely must have audio. Returning this on audible and getting a kindle version instead.

2 people found this helpful

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Fantastic book - get the physical one

This book has great information and is really informative. The content is worth getting this book especially to help you marriage. But I recommend getting the paperback.

As an audible book this is difficult to listen to due to the couple dozen quizzes they read out loud. Each quiz typically has 10 questions or more and I wouldn’t be surprised if an hour or more of the book is just reading these quizzes to you. It is fairly annoying.

However, content itself is fantastic and I took quite a bit from this book to apply to my marriage and relationships. Worth reading.

2 people found this helpful

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Marriage and relationships

This is the golden book on making your marriage and relationships work and thrive. Highly recommend!!

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So many great excercises to work on your marriage!

Definitely a book to buy and keep on hand as a resource to refer back to! It offered awareness of potential warning signs, how to avoid them and many excercises to keep our marriages on the right track.

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Overall very helpful

There are a lot of hetero-normative examples. I could do without all the gender stereotypes, but the principles are what’s important. If you can get past the conservatism, it’s very helpful

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  • sm
  • 2022-03-02

Must read

Great book on how to build the marriage you’ve always wanted. Breaks down the importance and why of of each step and then thoroughly explains how to do - both individual and couple exercises.

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Still the Best Guide

It has been over ten years since my wife and I first benefited from this book. Re-reading it in audio format has being a good refresher. Couples and individuals can always benefit from a little self-examination and recommitment to the work of being married. Thank you to John and Nat for the revision and also to Eric for a fine job of narrating.

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A great book for improving couples relationship

This book is awesome if you are looking to find more about dynamics of couples relationship and how to improve it. It's based on scientific studies and not some personal opinions.

The narration is great, easy to understand and follow.

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  • jynlyn
  • 2020-09-02

not a good audiobook

This is not a good buy for an audiobook. There are lots of lists and questionnaires. I find it hard to follow along as he reads off 40 questions for you and your spouse to ask each other and discuss. I recommend buying the book or kindle version. Otherwise, lots of good information. Beware: stereotypes like women are emotional and men are stonewallers are rampant but I imagine he's seen this first hand in his studies. Good news is he tries to release some of them by encouraging men to take advice from their wives and wives to....well i haven't gotten that far yet.
Happy reading!

55 people found this helpful

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  • Bw12535
  • 2020-06-21

eyes opened to see what sinks and steers romance

I have been married 12 years and have had a good relationship until I was told by my wife she didn't love me anymore. I have done the activities through this book and have heard what my wife longed for. I didn't know what questions to ask to get to the root at our disconnection. Thank you to John Gottman

34 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2020-05-15

Buy hard copy

So many lists! Ugh. Have pen and paper ready to take lotttsssss of list notes.

33 people found this helpful

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  • Christi Bradsher
  • 2020-02-19

The Bible of Relationship books

I’ve read a lot of relationship books, but this one was by far my favorite. While it is not one of the most entertaining I’ve ever read, it is hands down the most useful. This book is literally THE handbook for a successful marriage and John Gottman’s advice is GOLD. The book really forces you to take a good, hard look at your relationship, it’s strengths and weaknesses, and focus on improving the areas that need improvement. Although, I will admit, it was not always a comfortable feeling reading and rating my relationship at times, it was extremely helpful and in turn made me realize my relationship’s strengths as well. I believe it has set my husband and I, two very new newlyweds,up for solid, long term success .

28 people found this helpful

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  • Rebecca D.
  • 2020-03-02

Topics hard to hear but set me in the right direction

When I first started the book I was hopeful but I realized I was the cause of much of my marital trouble. This was very hard to hear, I knew it was true but the affirmation is hard. It did set me in the right direction to change. Something I had never been able to do on my own. Many other books try to convey this but this one worked for me and I am grateful.

23 people found this helpful

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  • Rich Rabah
  • 2021-04-27

Great book but not for audio.

Do not buy this book on audio. You’ll find that half of the time you spent listening all your listening to is the narrator reading over all of the questionnaires and worksheets throughout the book for couples.

By the real book and enjoy this great piece of work the way it was intended.

19 people found this helpful

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  • ITGuyEric
  • 2020-09-03

Amazing Resource

This was an amazing book. The examples and case studies really help me look at my own relationship in a clearer light.
My only critique is to put all the exercises into a PDF and leave them out of the read audiobook.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Joel Dormer
  • 2020-05-11

good read for good marriages

This should be required reading for all couples before getting married. A great step forward in understanding why relationships can be so hard and how to make them work.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Neil Call
  • 2020-12-03

Like listening to someone read you a workbook.

This book was not intended to be made into an audiobook. If you like someone reading you the text of a workbook and list after list of questions, then you might like this book. It was intended more as a supplement text for a couples class. Buy the actual book if that is what you need; however, very difficult to listen to this being read.

7 people found this helpful

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  • Tad
  • 2020-10-29

Evidence Based, Practical Principles

listening to this audio book has given me great hope for my marriage, fostered a new appreciation for my wife, and given me skills that extend to all of my relationships and interactions. This book should be required reading/listening for all married couples.

6 people found this helpful