Listen free for 30 days

  • This Book Is Full of Spiders

  • Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It (John Dies at the End, Book 2)
  • Written by: David Wong
  • Narrated by: Nick Podehl
  • Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (162 ratings)

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo + applicable taxes after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
This Book Is Full of Spiders cover art

This Book Is Full of Spiders

Written by: David Wong
Narrated by: Nick Podehl
Try for $0.00

$14.95 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $33.66

Buy Now for $33.66

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Tax where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

From David Wong, the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. 

You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. 

Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

"Like an episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead" written by Douglas Adams of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." …Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post

"Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller… David Wong (Jason Pargin) is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal

©2012 David Wong (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

What listeners say about This Book Is Full of Spiders

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    108
  • 4 Stars
    43
  • 3 Stars
    7
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    1
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    112
  • 4 Stars
    29
  • 3 Stars
    6
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    98
  • 4 Stars
    39
  • 3 Stars
    7
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    3

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Seriously, Dude, Do listen to it

Very entertaining, funny, and amazing narration, I could not stop listening to it.
Definitely the best of the trilogy and you don't need to listen to the first book before, they each stand alone well.
Check it out!

#Audible1

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Dread, Doom, and Dumb-asses

Weaker than the first book in some ways but a lot stronger in others, this book is a great sequel to the first. Some aspects of the book feel a bit like they changed the rules from the first. Some of the character traits seemed slightly altered without giving us any real reasoning, but what the book does right makes up for it in the end.

Throughout the book there is a countdown to panic and dread, and it is one of my favourite things about the book. You are constantly reminded that things are going to get worse. But instead of getting worse, they get worse than you expected, and you more or less have the same people trying to work through it as the first book. (Imagine the town you're in has one of those nuclear missile strike alarm buzzers go off. That kind of dread and uncertainty, except when the countdown ends you look at your phone and a spider jumps out of it and eats your face)

This book is not as insane as the first, so don't go in expecting that. It is far more "normalized". Instead of fist fights with moustache bats and talking hotdogs you get "what if those same guys were thrown into a zombie apocalypse" and really, it seldom disappoints. If you have read the first one, I highly recommend going through this one as well.


#Audible1

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

a brilliant look at the way the world could end.

There's nothing I love more than a unique and twisted new look to an over used and often boring genre as the outbreak or end of the world crap that is spoon fed to readers.
David Wong brings a great time to the way a disaster novel genre depressingly trudges through to an even more depressing (or suicidal) end. This won't leave you with a bad taste in your mouth at all.
This book even had me relisten to the first of the book series to remember why David and John are the way they are but also work over the second book to better understand the importance of what was communicated between David and Dr.Marconi, the therapist Dr. Tennant's role to the end of ( undisclosed) and why gun enthusiasts come in two categories the prepared and the take from the prepared because they failed .... idiots.
Read smoothly by Nick Podehl (clearly the right voice for the job), Davids misadventures into the supernatural is properly brought to life by the silky smooth linguistics of this man.
You don't have to read the first book or see the movie to enjoy this novel. But you don't have to buy the wheels for the new car you're in either so long as you love sitting around going nowhere fast.
Get the first book and love the wild commentary to fall deeper into the world of David and John.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

just get it. unique and very well performed.

my heading says it all. the voice actor is great, not the best but every character sounds unique n you won't be getting lost.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

AMAZING !!!!!!!!!

This book had me crying, cackling, & wincing all at the same time. I am yet to find a book i enjoy more this takes my #1 spot :)

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Super funny

Good story. Love Molly what a good girl. It’s not a regular horror story but refreshingly new like you actually know people in your lives like Dave & John.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Not a horror novel, good for maybe young teens

Maybe I’ve been mistaken, but a bunch of articles online claim this is a “horror” novel. It was cringe and written as if it was meant to appeal to 11 year olds. Absolutely nothing scary or frightening about this book.
Narration was fine but I found myself turning off the audio so frequently because I was cringing at how it’s meant to appeal to tweens that think swearing is cool.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Beavis and Butthead Do The Appocolypse

I really enjoyed this book. If you enjoyed the first one, it goes along with it thematically, but it doesn't rely on it. I loved the premise behind it certain plot points Amy and David going through this entire ordeal by trying to find each other, for instance.

There's a certain group of people (of which I am one) who will enjoy these books. It requires a certain suspension of disbelief, and enjoying knee slapping potty humor sprinkled into an apocalyptic scenario that David, John, and Amy go through. If that's your thing, welcome to the club!

Some argue that there isn't much character growth, but that's simply untrue. In between the first book and this, Amy has grown from being agoraphobic, to a well fleshed out character with a heart of Gold and a Moral Compass. John seems to be spiralling downward while growing more stoic. David is just, David+ love life.

To enjoy these books, just chill out, and realize it's not meant to fit in with timeless classics. It stands on its own for those ready to face the Apocalypse, but would rather see it through the Lens of bumbling, potty mouth characters in David and John. Amy is the mature one of the bunch, so it kind of creates an equilibrium between the silly and the serious.

The hard need to be asking here is, just how many lives does a dog have?

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

A bit juvenile.

Although I appreciate the humor and precepts included in this novel, I find the overall storyline rather immature. The narration is excellent, though.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Not my cup of tea

I can understand how some may enjoy this but to me it seemed like there was a ton of filler to give the story some length but it ended very anticlimactic. Didn’t really see the reason for some of the characters. It seemed like they were there to do something important and then they’re all killed off. It was a hard listen at times. The performances were good but the rest was a hard pass for me

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!