Couple of Blokes cover art

Couple of Blokes

Written by: David 'The Ox' Schwarz and Mark 'Marko' Allen
  • Summary

  • Couple of Blokes is a podcast hosted by former AFL star David 'Ox' Schwarz, and former Tour Pro Golfer Mark 'Marko' Allen.


    Every Wednesday Ox and Marko are bang up for solving the worlds problems often over a couple of quiet brewski's. They talk life, relationships, footy, golf, with an assortment of ridiculous segments. Get around it before they come to their senses and realise they're actually pretty ordinary at this podcast caper and go back to watching nonstop Kayo Sports.


    Executive Producer: Kaizen Media.

    Sound Design: Loud Zebra.


    For enquiries click here.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Kaizen Media
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Episodes
  • Best Of: Marko's OnlyFans Faux Pas
    May 2 2024

    Ox and Marko are having a couple of weeks off, but the boys will be back live on Wednesday May 22 for Season 3 of the 'Couple of Blokes' podcast, thanks to our good mates at the e&s Trading Clearance Centre.....good time to drop in and rinse them for a bargain, and give Kurt a compliment on his latest hairstyle. They're on Dandenong Road in Clayton, right opposite Ikea.


    Over the break we'll replay some of the episodes that are most memorable in the boys minds. Today, the time we discovered Marko was accepting dozens, hundreds even, of friend invites from random women on the Couple of Blokes socials - they all turned out to be OnlyFans girls. Awkward.


    See you on May 22!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    44 mins
  • Ep65: Ox 'Mr Bean is Stupid' & Marko 'I'm Upset With How Trish is Doing My Laundry'
    Apr 30 2024

    The team is apart today. Ox live via whatsapp from Wodonga. Why not on Zoom or Teams? Mmmmm a very good question. Because Ox is renovating a joint there, he has no WiFi, and the 4G or 5G or whatever it is, is shizen in Wodonga. So today, we get The Ox via his Nokia 3310, and sound quality to match.


    We start the show discussing Kurt from the e&s Trading Clearance Centre who has another new haircut. Ox and Marko are not impressed. Kurt is getting out of control, we may need to discuss with Robbie & Paul, the e&s higher ups.


    Marko has an issue with his deck at home, and given Ox is deep in renovations, he wants advice on how to sort it. Ox manages to find a way to turn this conversation into a plug for his Hand Sandy invention - which we still think is guaranteed to make us billions. We play the jingle again - coming to your favourite radio station very soon. We discuss if we may win an award for the jingle for the Hand Sandy? Highly likely.


    Onto a first world problem that from Marko. His pants in his wardrobe are not in colour-coded order, and he is unhappy. He then decided to clean out his wardrobe of some older clothes he doesn't wear anymore, and has discovered a challenge shopping for new clothes. This is indeed a first world problem, barely worth listening to - perhaps fast forward through this part of the pod. But there's more. Mark lines up his wife Trish who is not following the labels he has created in the walk-in robe. He accidentally put on a V-neck instead of a Crew-neck top today, and in the world of Marko, this is Trish's fault. Divorce may be on the cards.


    However....Mark solved his first world problem by going to Ox's fave website Temu, a business that Third Man believes may be shonky, Ox and Marko disagree. Third Man has an accusation against Marko which may involve criminal liability. Marko says he is innocent and defends himself. Ox and Third Man are not entirely convinced. Marko shows us how he sends text messages, using only his voice, when driving and gives a live demo, which goes pear-shaped when he messages the wrong person.


    Ox wants to discuss country people, to do with people who ride electric bikes. Nobody wore helmets when we're kids, and Ox doesn't believe bike helmets look cool, saying they all make the wearer look like a wanker. Marko kids riding on side streets don't need to wear helmets. He's wrong clearly. Ox tells a story about breaking his bike in half when he was a kid.


    Ox starts a social experiment re: an old toilet on his nature strip and how long it will last. We'll keep you up to date on the socials with how it goes. Marko cops a whack from a listener about never doing grocery shopping. And we've been sent a business idea from Matt, who wants Ox to give him a slogan. Ox obliges. Marko loves both Matt's idea and the slogan as well.


    We're here thanks to Paul & Kurt at the E&S Trading Clearance Centre in Clayton, Melbourne on Dandenong Road - right opposite Ikea. After an incredible deal on amazing gear? You won't believe the prices! We'd love you to follow a Couple of Blokes, and get involved with the show on social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. If you've got a comment or feedback, feel free to send a voicemail to Ox and Marko here. And don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast wherever you listen!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    45 mins
  • Bonus: Huge Developments on Ox's 'Hand Sandy' Business Idea
    Apr 28 2024

    Breaking news !! There have been major developments in the development of Ox's recent business idea of the Hand Sandy. We are well on track to being billionaires. And we wanted to give you, the family members, the heads-up on what is happening.


    Could you be a shareholder? Quite possibly. We are browsing real estate brochures from the Bahamas as we speak. Love your thoughts on these recent, and important, developments.


    We're here thanks to Paul & Kurt at the E&S Trading Clearance Centre in Clayton, Melbourne on Dandenong Road - right opposite Ikea. After an incredible deal on amazing gear? You won't believe the prices! We'd love you to follow a Couple of Blokes, and get involved with the show on social media: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. If you've got a comment or feedback, feel free to send a voicemail to Ox and Marko here. And don't forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast wherever you listen!


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    11 mins

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