You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely — and that’s something almost everyone experiences. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack the difference between being alone and feeling lonely, explore where that emptiness comes from, and share practical, compassionate ways to rebuild connection — both with others and yourself.

• Loneliness ≠ isolation. You can feel lonely in a crowded room because connection is about being understood, not just being around others.
• Your brain lies. The stories you tell yourself — “I’m a burden,” “no one cares,” “I wasn’t invited because I’m not liked” — aren’t facts.
• It’s often rooted in old wounds. Many of us learned as kids to minimize our needs, which makes adult connection harder.
• You can rewire the story. Self-compassion and awareness can help you separate what happened from what you made it mean.
• Connection takes courage. Reaching out feels scary, but it’s the antidote to loneliness.

1️⃣ Name the lie. When your brain says, “nobody cares,” replace it with: “No one knows I need them right now.”

2️⃣ Reach out first. Send a text, share a funny video, or ask for a coffee. Don’t wait for an invitation — give one.

3️⃣ Borrow hope. When you see others connecting, use it as proof that connection is possible for you too.

4️⃣ Say what you need. “Can we talk?” or “I’ve been feeling disconnected” is honest — not needy.

5️⃣ Get around people. Go for a walk, smile at strangers, sit in a café — you’ll feel energy shift just by being among others.

6️⃣ Rebuild inner connection. Remind yourself of your worth: write down moments when you’ve been a good friend, helper, or listener.

7️⃣ Shift focus outward. Helping others — even small acts — often dissolves your own loneliness.

• “Hey, I’ve been thinking of you. How have you been?”
• “I could use a chat today — do you have time to catch up?”
• “Want to grab a quick coffee this week?”
• “I saw this and it made me think of you.”

Every message doesn’t have to be deep — just real.

• Cat: Trader Joe’s ready-made dinners — giving herself grace and ease in a busy week. 🍝
• Andrew: Binge-watching Stranger Things guilt-free — sometimes comfort and escape are self-care. 📺

You are not alone. If you’re in crisis or feeling hopeless, reach out for help right now:

• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) — call or text 988
• Canada Suicide Prevention Service — call or text 988
• U.K. Samaritans — call 116 123
• Australia Lifeline — call 13 11 14
• Or visit findahelpline.com for international...

Do you ever wake up and think, “Is this it?” You’ve checked all the boxes — career, home, family — but something still feels flat. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why life can suddenly feel boring even when everything looks good on paper. They share insights on midlife lulls, lost curiosity, and how to bring energy, novelty, and purpose back into your everyday routine.

• Boredom isn’t bad. It’s a signal — not a failure. It’s your brain’s way of saying, “We’ve mastered this level. Time to evolve.”
• Comfort kills curiosity. The more predictable your life becomes, the less stimulation your brain gets.
• There are two kinds of boredom:
• Situational boredom — nothing to do.
• Existential boredom — plenty to do, but nothing excites you.
• Tiny novelties matter. You don’t need to blow up your life; even small changes reignite joy.

1️⃣ Add micro-novelties. Try a new coffee shop, walk a different route, or rearrange a room — fresh experiences reawaken your senses.

2️⃣ Stay curious. Learn something new just for the fun of it — a language, an instrument, or even a random hobby.

3️⃣ Reconnect with purpose. If your kids, job, or routines no longer “need” you the same way, find new outlets for meaning.

4️⃣ Let boredom guide you. Sometimes it’s not about doing more — it’s about resting deeply.

5️⃣ Reach out. Loneliness often hides behind “busy.” Text the friend you’ve been missing — they’ll probably be relieved you did.

• Replace scrolling with doing. Ten minutes of learning beats an hour of endless swiping.
• Start a “Done List.” Track what you accomplished today instead of what’s missing.
• Take curiosity breaks. Watch a documentary, visit a farmer’s market, or read about something new.
• Try the Groundhog Day reframe: Instead of escaping monotony, add playfulness to it — like Bill Murray learning piano and French.
• Practice boredom without guilt. Rest is not laziness; it’s restoration.

• Cat: Recording in person with Andrew in their Canada home — first time in ages and totally glimmery. 🇨🇦
• Andrew: Finally solving the technical setup to make it happen — and proving that collaboration always feels better than perfection.

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Everyone wants to be liked — but trying too hard can make the opposite happen. In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack the psychology of likability and share practical, science-backed (and heart-backed) ways to connect more deeply with others. Whether you’re navigating work events, friendships, or dating, these tips will help you become the kind of person people remember — for all the right reasons.

• People want to feel seen. Listening and showing genuine interest makes you instantly more likable.
• Authenticity beats performance. Pretending to be someone you’re not always backfires — real connection comes from honesty.
• Kindness counts. The way you treat others (servers, coworkers, strangers) reveals your character more than anything you say.
• The “likeability loop.” When you care about people, they feel good — and associate that feeling with you.

1️⃣ Show genuine curiosity. Ask thoughtful questions about people’s lives, interests, and stories.

2️⃣ Listen more than you talk. Don’t wait for your turn — truly hear them.

3️⃣ Remember details. Use your phone notes if needed. Mention their kids, trips, or hobbies later — people feel valued.

4️⃣ Smile and use names. A person’s name is their favorite sound; it builds warmth instantly.

5️⃣ Talk in their terms. Discuss what they enjoy — sports, travel, hobbies — even if it’s new to you.

6️⃣ Be kind to everyone. Your behavior toward strangers says more than words ever will.

7️⃣ Don’t gossip. If you talk about others negatively, people assume you’ll do the same to them.

8️⃣ Initiate connection. Don’t wait to be approached — say hello, make eye contact, and be the one who starts the conversation.

• Use the “two-question rule.” After someone answers your first question, ask one follow-up that shows you were listening.
• Practice micro-connections. Compliment a stranger’s outfit, greet your barista, or check in with a coworker.
• Note their world. “How was your beach trip?” hits differently than “How are you?”
• Mirror energy. Match people’s tone and pace naturally — it creates subconscious comfort.

• Cat: Domino’s gluten-free pepperoni and pineapple pizza — the ultimate cozy reward after recording. 🍕
• Andrew: Dinner with his daughter and her boyfriend — a milestone moment and reminder that connection starts with listening.

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

When was the last time you felt truly peaceful? In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack what peace actually means — and how to protect it when life, family, work, and the holidays all compete for your calm. You’ll learn how to draw healthy boundaries, avoid people-pleasing, and keep your inner world steady even when the outer world isn’t.

• Peace is an inside job. Calm isn’t the absence of chaos — it’s your ability to stay centered within it.
• Boundaries = self-respect. Setting and keeping boundaries may upset others, but it’s how you teach people how to treat you.
• You can’t please everyone. Someone will always be disappointed — make sure it’s not you.
• Guilt isn’t a compass. Feeling guilty after saying no doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it means you’re growing.
• External calm starts with internal clarity. What drains your peace most — your schedule, your phone, or your thoughts?

1️⃣ Define peace for yourself. Is it quiet time, emotional balance, or simply less chaos? You can’t protect what you can’t define.

2️⃣ Stop overcommitting. Every “yes” to others is a “no” to your own calm.

3️⃣ Set clear, kind boundaries. “I’m not available that day” is a complete sentence.

4️⃣ Handle guilt with compassion. You’re not being selfish — you’re creating a more peaceful version of you.

5️⃣ Don’t absorb other people’s storms. Be supportive without taking on their chaos.

6️⃣ Create peace rituals. Start mornings quietly, take digital breaks, and end the day tech-free.

7️⃣ Limit news intake. You can be informed without being overwhelmed.

• Take a “no explanation” day: decline plans without justifying it.
• Zip up your energy: visualize a protective bubble before entering stressful environments.
• Replace doomscrolling with sunlight and movement.
• Offer an alternative plan when saying no (“Can we meet for lunch next month instead?”).
• Mute notifications — your peace doesn’t need a ping.

• “Rest isn’t lazy — it’s leadership.”
• “Clarity is kind.”
• “I can love people and still say no.”
• “My peace is my responsibility.”

• Cat: Their Instagram video of Andrew playing guitar went viral — proof that consistency and creativity pay off. 🎸
• Andrew: His post-surgery checkup showed major healing progress — a powerful reminder that slow recovery isprogress.

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Personal growth is beautiful — until it’s not. In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk about the hidden fatigue that comes with healing, self-development, and “always improving.” They unpack why the messy middle is normal, why growth never really ends, and how to rest without guilt.

• Growth is cyclical, not linear. You’re not failing — you’re just in a different season.
• The messy middle matters. No one talks about the “in-between” years where progress feels invisible.
• Fatigue is feedback, not failure. Your body and mind need recovery as much as your muscles do.
• Judgment makes it worse. Beating yourself up for being human delays your healing.
• Rest is part of growth. Pausing helps new habits take root.

1️⃣ Redefine success. There’s no “finish line” to personal growth. It’s a lifelong practice.

2️⃣ Accept regression as recalibration. Two steps forward, one pizza back (as Andrew says). It’s all part of the process.

3️⃣ Track what you did, not what you missed. Cat’s “reverse to-do list” builds perspective and gratitude.

4️⃣ Beware the comparison trap. Everyone has a different deck of cards — focus on your own hand.

5️⃣ Switch it up. If your routines feel heavy, try a new form of movement, journaling, or rest.

6️⃣ Recognize seasons. Some months are for pushing forward; others are for digesting what you’ve learned.

• Constant fatigue or mental fog
• Loss of joy in “self-care” routines
• Guilt for resting or taking breaks
• Feeling like nothing is ever enough

• Write a “done list” instead of a to-do list.
• Take micro-breaks during the day — stillness counts.
• Build seasonal awareness: winter = rest, spring = renewal.
• Remind yourself: “I am not behind. I’m evolving.”

• Cat: A golden fall day in Chicago — crisp air, bright sun, and a long peaceful walk. 🍂
• Andrew: Cozy weekend show (“Nobody Wants This”) — proof that slowing down can feel just as good as achieving.

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Ever been told you’re “not fun” or “too serious”? Andrew and Cat unpack what fun actually means — and why chasing other people’s version of it leaves you drained. This episode helps you redefine fun on your own terms, whether that means karaoke nights or coloring budget charts.

• Fun got complicated. It used to be sticks and puddles; now it’s overpriced trips and curated weekends.
• There’s a bias toward extroverts. The world rewards loud, social fun — but quiet joy counts too.
• Authenticity = happiness. True fun begins when you do what genuinely lights you up, not what’s “supposed to.”
• Stop “should-ing” your joy. You don’t owe anyone attendance at events that drain you.

1️⃣ Define your fun. What genuinely delights you — not what looks fun to others?

2️⃣ Drop guilt. Rest and relaxation are productive; joy refuels creativity.

3️⃣ Practice authenticity. Say “no” to misaligned plans; say “yes” to what feels right.

4️⃣ Four ingredients of fun:

• Freedom – Do things with no outcome attached.
• Presence – Be here, not in your head.
• Connection – Lose track of time with people or passions that sync with you.
• Expression – Let the real you show up (no armor, no performance).
• 5️⃣ Replace FOMO with ROMO (Relief of Missing Out). Enjoy skipping the plans you never wanted anyway.
• 6️⃣ Audit your joy. When was the last time you lost track of time? Start there.

• “Suffering through someone else’s fun is still suffering.”
• “Fun doesn’t have to be expensive, impressive, or loud.”
• “When you say no to what drains you, you say yes to what fills you.”
• “Joy lives in small pockets — coffee chats, thrift hunts, puppy cuddles.”

• Try a joy audit: list five activities that make you feel alive.
• Add micro-fun moments — a walk, a playlist, a puzzle, or your favorite meal.
• Revisit childhood joy: What did little-you love? Can you bring that back now?
• Find your people: When you’re authentically yourself, the right friends appear.

• Cat: Fully funded her emergency fund after years of work — and found joy in tracking the goal.
• Andrew: Traveling to England with his daughter and seeing her reaction to Big Ben for the first time — pure magic.

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Feeling stuck, numb, or like the light went out? Andrew and Cat talk about rebuilding hope—without toxic positivity. You’ll learn why hope is a brain-and-body shift (not a mood), what quietly erodes it, and small, doable steps to feel a spark again.

• Hope ≠ denial. It accepts reality and imagines a different future.
• Your brain likes anticipation. Even the thought that “this can get better” gives a healthy dopamine lift.
• Grief comes first. Feel it to free it. Then take one gentle step forward.
• Stories shape state. Borrow hope from people who’ve pushed through setbacks.

1. One good thing prompt: On waking, ask: “Why is today going to be great?” Name one simple thing (first coffee, a walk, clean sheets).
2. Anchor to the present: 3 slow breaths + notice 3 things you can see/hear/feel.
3. Borrow hope: Read or listen to a perseverance story (dating later in life, 52nd lender said yes, etc.).
4. Move a little: Sunlight on your face, a 10-minute walk, stretch by a window.
5. Purpose pebble: Do one small helpful act—smile at a neighbor, text a check-in, hold the door.
6. Future-you assist: Ask, “What tiny thing would future me thank me for tonight?” Then do just that.

• “Maybe there’s more for me.”
• “I’ve done hard things before; I can do hard things again.”
• “I only need a spark, not the full lighthouse.”

• Chronic stress, disappointment, self-blame → Practice self-compassion; feel feelings, don’t camp there.
• Doom-scrolling, heavy inputs → Curate feeds toward light, learning, and real connection.
• No direction → Choose a tiny purpose for today (make one person smile).

• Cat: The pure joy of petting the wiggliest puppy—five minutes of instant hope.
• Andrew: Morning sun + saying “good morning” on a short walk—connection lifts everyone.

You’re not alone, and help is available 24/7. If you think you might act on thoughts of self-harm, seek immediate help:

• United States & Canada: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
• United States (text): Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).
• Canada (call): 1-833-456-4566; text 45645 (Talk Suicide Canada, evenings).
• United Kingdom & ROI: 116 123 (Samaritans).
• Australia: 13 11 14 (Lifeline).
• Emergency: Call your local emergency number (911 / 999 / 112) if you’re in immediate danger.

If you’re outside these regions, contact your local health services or search for your country’s suicide prevention hotline.

• Say hi / coaching inquiries: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)

We’re glad you’re here. Keep going—one small step, one spark at a time.

If you’ve ever rewritten a simple text 3x, “rescued” the dishwasher, or tried to schedule spontaneity… hi, friend. Andrew and Cat unpack why control feels so necessary (spoiler: anxiety + safety), the hidden costs on your body and relationships, and simple ways to loosen your grip without letting life fall apart.

• Control ≠ safety. It’s often an anxious mind trying to predict pain.
• It’s an illusion anyway. Habits create predictability, but outcomes are never guaranteed.
• There’s a relationship cost. Trying to steer other adults (or teens) breeds resentment; “let them” is often the loving move.
• Trade control for structure. Plan your response, not everyone else’s behavior.

1. Awareness > autopilot
2. Notice where you micromanage and name the need under it: “I want to feel safe / prepared / not blindsided.”
3. Micro-win: say it out loud or jot one line in your Notes app.
4. Own what’s yours
5. You don’t control kids, partners, coworkers, traffic, weather, or ride closures. You do control: your breath, tone, posture, words, boundaries, and next action.
6. Replace control with structure
7. Swap rigid scripts for implementation intentions:

• “If the plan changes, I’ll take 4 slow breaths, then choose the most loving next step.”
• “If a child melts down, we pause 10 minutes—shade, water, snack—then reassess.”
• Structure calms you without corralling everyone else.

1. Micro-uncertainty reps (build the tolerance muscle)

• Take a different route home.
• Try a new appetizer while keeping your go-to entrée.
• Sit in a different seat at the table/meeting.
• Leave a 30-minute block unscheduled—and let it stay unscheduled.
• Celebrate the reps, not the results.

1. Regulate before you react
2. Control spikes when your nervous system is hot. Downshift first, then decide. Quick options: box breathing, sensory grounding, a 60-second shake-out, cool water on your face, brief step outside.
3. → Want guided, under-a-minute resets? Try our Quick Calm Method: seven micro-tools we use daily. fiveyearyou.com/calm

• “I’m noticing I want to control this because I care. I’m going to choose calm first.”
• “Here’s the plan, and it’s OK if we pivot.”
• “I can’t choose for you; I can choose how I respond.”

• Fewer replays in your head after plans shift.
• More laughter when things go “off script.”
• Kids/partners volunteer more because they feel less managed.

• Cat: Flying to Canada to see Andrew today—so excited for an in-person hug!
• Andrew: Finished The DOSE Effect by TJ Power—practical ways to retrain brain chemistry and feel better. Loved it.

• Quick Calm Method (video course, < 60 minutes): fiveyearyou.com/calm
• Say hi / coaching inquiries: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).